Upset at not being able to lose weight

[BelloItalia]

Im 45 this year. Never had a problem with my weight before and whenever it crept up I’d just go on a bit of loose diet and it would fall off again.
Since I turned 40 I’m no longer able to lose weight. I’m now 11 stone which isn’t massively overweight but 10st is ideal for me. I just can’t get there.
Mir doesn’t seem to matter what I eat, the weight won’t shift. I’ve tried slimming world, low carb, calorie counting, intermittent fasting - nothing works. I’ll drop a couple of pounds then it will come back again. It’s actually making me quite upset. All my clothes are too tight, I spend so much time meal planning I feel like it’s all I ever think about.

AIBU to think there must be a way to get back to 10st?? I’m not menopausal

I know its probably not everyday, but I avoid eating meat or fish for more than one meal, unless its prawns. Salmon is quite high in calories, as is chicken (relative to the sides you are eating).

It's not a huge menu though so I feel for you!

I have to eat a lot less than a 500 calorie deficit to lose 1lb a week as it says. So I can lose weight, but I have to eat no more than around 1100 cals a day. I am short, so can’t eat loads anyway without gaining. I do 15k steps a day. Often up and down my living room at end of day. It’s harder as you age as your body needs less calories. If calorie counting you need to be accurate too.

Have you got a Fitbit? You can log food and compare calories out to calories in. I’m finding it helpful.

How many calories a day are you aiming for?

Calorie restriction doesn't work as our bodies think we're in a famine and then when we regain that weight it tends to add a bit more for good measure. If you read the book Why We Eat Too Much by Dr Andrew Jenkinson it explains how we need to work with hormones to lose weight. I've pretty much cut out wheat, sugar, UPFs and avoid veg oil if I can as it all interferes with our leptin levels/spikes insulin.
(Full disclosure, I'm following his way of eating but using mounjaro too, I had just tipped into borderline obesity)

I'm 50 and maintain my weight by having brunch and dinner rather than three meals. I eat in an 8 hour window and walk a minimum of 10,000 steps a day.

Ps OP I think your diet looks spot on! My post was more for anyone advising calorie counting.

Can I recommend reading'The Human Body Diet'.
It has massively helped me shift the extra weight and when other diets are slow. This has quick effects and is easy.

It sounds like it's not far off what you're doing but there might be a suggestion or two in there that could help.

I'm saying this as someone who is now slimmer than I have been in a decade with very little hunger / cravings. Everything has improved, skin, sleep etc.

Typo - it's the human being diet

amzn.eu/d/28MZVlX

OK I have lost a couple of kilos and kept it off successfully.

• I went to a dietician (not a nutritionist) worth it for an hour where she helped me work out what I was eating and what I wasn’t. She also gave me really really simple guidelines about how to work out what wa son my plate. Best investment ever.

• I watched a lot of secret eaters l. For some reason I found it very helpful just how easy it is to snack and eat without realising especially when distracted.

• I use an App called my net diary. I started out just tracking my protein intake and then Vit C rather than calories.

• I actually focused on the money rather than the food. I set a budget on what to eat a week and the shittier the food the more expensive it is. Now rather than a chocolate bar I have an apple which is so much cheaper .

It’s not a diet it’s just healthier eating for most of the time.

Do you excercise? Walk?

It's so depressing isn't it. I have found that it is calories and restricting eating in a time window. You just can't eat what you used to at all. Work out your BMR and honestly it's probably even lower than that. I have managed to get rid of the half stone with this. Also really cut down on carbs. Its definitely hormones you are inevitably in peri menopause..this is a symptom.

You have to be in a calorie deficit and at your age guess work doesnt cut it. You have to weigh things to work out what you're consuming and take a tally every day, the average over the week is fine. Then dont expect to have massive change week on week, its likely that you're losing a few lbs and then getting complacent and thats why it then goes back on again. It happens to all of us.

You need to fairly accurately work out your TDEE, then knock 500 cals off that and try to stick to it. I find exercise makes me ravenous so thats difficult.

As you go on, you'll see if your TDEE is accurate becuase if you are absolutely thorough about the calorie intake, you should lose in accordance with it, so 1lb or .5lb or 2lb whatever you set your deficit to be.

I too think I will just accept the weight gain, as DH suggests. His helpful comment: You are a middle aged woman Lentil!
.I walk 3 miles a day already but that's because I love it and have time. I dont eat UPF or drink but thats because I have never done that. Not able to eat 800 cal a day or track every single morsel.
My only concern is that all the weight is around my tummy, and there is diabetes in my family ( lousy Asian genes).

Yogurt - 70 calories (assuming non fat)
Walnuts - (25g) - 130 calories
Blueberries - 25 calories
Salmon fillet - 200 calories
Cabbage - 25 calories
Oil for sauté - 50 calories ish
1 chicken breast - 150 calories
Cauliflower rice - 25 calories

Comes to under 700 calories. Not including any curry sauce etc.

Are you being completely honest with yourself about what you are eating? Because most people would starve on that diet.

You might not be counting them but you are restricting your calories, both by the choices you're making but also you're on a medication which is making you eat less, fewer calories.

That is literally how you are managing to lose weight, you are in a calorie deficit.

Yep, I am in my 50s and also need to lose around 8lb, but it seems almost impossible. Yet some people manage it (at my age) which is really frustrating

This all day every day. Cardio is still good for our bodies just like strength and resistance training: A good full on spin class really helps sort my head out too!

I came off HRT and the weight has now started coming off. I could never lose weight when I was on the pill either. There's something about me taking hormones and not being able to lose weight.

Oh I am on HRT but the weight gain kind of predates it.
No evidence linking HRT to weight gain no?

Sounds really hard OP because your diet looks extremely healthy. You can be happy with that because it will be doing you so much good on the inside irrespective of your weight.

What’s your exercise like? Do you get your 10,000 steps every day? Could you ask a personal trainer to create a simple gym routine for you? Building muscle is the way forward.

Crikey! That’s er…nuts!

OP, at 45, you’re at least premenopausal which will make losing weight harder, and your body shape will likely be changing.

That’s still a load of unnecessary calories.

To lose weight, I switch to a banana for breakfast, still eat the same stuff for lunch and dinner but just have less of it. I never fail to lose weight and I’m the same age as you. I occasionally snack still but again, just a smaller portion.

Weight loss is almost entirely down to diet, not exercise.

Thank you.
I didn’t see that until afterwards.
Doh! 🤦‍♀️