Stranger asked for sex.

[SoreHeadAgainnnnn]

So this was really weird!! ...

(For context, I'm late 40s, married 20yrs, two kids, two dogs, average and tired looking!)

I took my dogs out for a walk yesterday. We were walking through a field and I heard a man's voice. Looked up and there was a man on a bike (maybe late 20s/early 30s, scruffy looking (the mum in me thought 'you could do with a bath') on the adjacent path (which is just up the bank from where I was - so maybe 15 foot away or so)).

He said 'can you have sex with me?'. I thought I must have misheard so asked him to repeat what he said and he said 'can you have sex with me?' Again I thought I can't have heard right! So I said 'can I have what?' and he said 'sex' and repeated 'sex' a few times, then was quite insistent 'can we have sex??'

I told him No. No! Several times. They, in a really kid like voice he said 'pleeeeeeeeeeaase' like he was begging me for some screen time or sweets!! I said 'no. No way. Go and find yourself a girlfriend'.

Then he sounded quite annoyed and said 'why not?' in a way that made it sound like I was being unreasonable to deny him sex!!!! I said 'well for starters I'm married!' (though there were obviously MULTIPLE reasons why I would not have sex with some random stranger in a field!!!!) At that point he went on his way!

It was quite intimidating and I can't believe he just thought it was ok to ask this!!

Further along the walk, I went into some woods. I was feeling a bit worried I'd bump into him or he'd come back and rape me (catastophising I know, but anyway..) then I saw two large trowel type tools - which looked like weapons like kind of wide trowel shaped swords, really big with serrated edges, stuck down in a tree trunk'. It completely freaked me out!!

My dogs and I survived the walk !! But so many weird things have happened on that walk in the last few months, with yesterday's two incidents being the worst.

AIBU never to walk the dogs there again?

But I have nowhere else walking distance to walk them!

Also - do a anyone know what these trowel shaped weapons are? I tried to Google 'large trowel shaped weapons serrated edge' but nothing like what I saw came up! Anyone know why they might've been there? (They definitely weren't innocently left by the charitable tree planting types. These were definitely purposely put there and looked like a signal or warning or something. They also looked expensive so I kept looking around as I can't imagine the person who put them there would've been far away as they wouldn't want to loose them or get them nicked)

My husband is in the police. Definitely report it. Even if you think nothing is being done it will be held as evidence and help to build a bigger picture if they get other reports.

pleased you have reported it OP and I hope you are feeling ok, this sort of stuff is really unsettling and can make us realise how vulnerable we can be as we just go about leading our day to day lives.

Really very simple:

Do NOT EVER go and walk there again.

The guy could have raped you. You are lucky he didn't. It was entirely in his power to do so.

The weird trowel things are weapons. Whatever they are, it's not good they are there.

Just don't go there.
And of course tell the police. You could save someone from being raped or worse, you must tell them.

You need to report this as I don't think he will ask the next time. He will just rape.

Report him to the police. Other women may not be as "lucky" in getting away from him as you.

I don't think you're catastrophising at all OP. You're a tougher woman than me- I'd have been terrified. Definitely report, he sounds unwell or dangerous (or both).

Report it and also join your local Facebook community page and post what happened (or message an administrator asking them to post it anonymously if you want) that's the best way to spread the word locally, imagine if it's a young teenager next time or someone he feels able to overpower.
Behaviour like that is a huge risk for escalating. He may have been trying to gauge your reaction as to whether you were an easy target too.

I agree, it should be reported. Edit: Glad to see that has been done.

It was probably nothing, op, a young chap thinking it was a prank to freak someone out, that does happen, however you never know. Thank goodness you did have a dog with you!

I'd be scared of going there again unless I could join someone or some others walking that way but I know that isn't always possible.

I'm really sorry you've had this highly unpleasant experience.

Also, police are notoriously useless in these situations and I'm sorry if that offends anyone but I was approached by a man when I was 14, he was driving by the side of me in his car asking questions, like I had a nice day etc. Just generally acting suspiciously and sitting in his car opposite whilst I waited for bus and when I walked to the next bus stop followed slowly behind in car. I told my mum who reported it to the police, and this was a female call handler for context, her reply 'well it's not against the law to talk to someone' my mother was furious. Anyway the call must have been logged as months later the police turned up at our door and interviewed me. Turned out he followed another girl from a different local school and it ended up in harassment amongst other things (much worse than what happened with me) however I had to go on an ID parade etc and it was evidence used in court. Obviously I am not comparing my situation as bad as what happened to OP however it does put you off reporting it but it should be reported regardless, because people like this man only get worse and quite possibly as other people have said he could have some mental health issues which are not being addressed fully. If it's the first time he's done it, it's unlikely to be the last.

this is unlocking a bad memory

6 years ago after watching random videos of YouTube my son randomly came across very disturbing “incel videos”

bunch of videos of men hanging in wooded area/fields ranting bout how they ain’t getting any, they would try nicely, but if women still reject them, they’ll have no choice but to resort to violence take revenge and just take it

one even said the reason he didn’t attack one woman is because she told him she’s married, at least she had a reason. If she simply rejected him for not finding him attractive/no good excuse he would have attacked her. Or even if she said she had a boyfriend, since that’s women go to lie to reject

the very many incels on livestream/comments were telling them to go for it, egging them on to assault and even kill and hide the girls body as soon as they see one. How fields/wooded areas are perfect. Making whole plans, tips and ideas on how to attack and hide the body

we reported and even doxed a few of those men

For everyone lambasting OP for not cutting the conversation or telling him to gonaway etc. There is a natural inbuilt thing in women whereby we often freeze and or become passive in a situation like this. It is actually a natural defense mechanism. Then continuing into the woods, just part of the confusion that the brain creates. These are natural responses and not OPs fault at all. Blaming it on OP is basically victim blaming. Just stop it. The man was in the wrong here. Thankfully OP is ok and now reported it and that is all that matters.

PLEASE STOP TELLING THE OP TO REPORT THIS TO THE POLICE.
She has.

I’m so sorry this happened to you OP. I’m glad you’ve reported this to the police.

I fully understand and agree with you that we can’t guess how we will react to an unexpected dangerous situation. When men have tried to assault me at different points in the past, my reactions have varied between fight/flight/freeze and fawn. I have also never reported anyone to the police for fear of the process and being brought up in a “stiff upper lip” environment, so I’m really proud of you, an internet stranger, for doing that!

It’s so easy for someone to say “I would NEVER do that” or “I would do this” but it’s a moot point like saying what we’d do if we won the lottery.

Report to police!

I rave just remembered an incident that happened to me a while back. I was walking home from a summer event in a large park. I was alone and my route took me through the red light part of town but as it was about 5pm, midsummer and there were lots of people also coming back from the event I really did not think that I needed to be careful. A man approached me on foot and asked me if I was "doing any business" and how much I charged. Becauase I am survivor of sexual violence perpetrated by a stranger when I was walking home from work, this really freaked me out, I ran into a shop, shaking and crying. A lovely group of women comforted me and called a tazi for me as I was too shaken to carry on walking alone as I was flooded with memories of being attacked. I threw up when I got home. I reported the man and the police were great. I did think that as it had happened in a red light area they might be a bit dismissive but they said that it was useful intelligence

OP HAS REPORTED IT TO THE POLICE!! Blimey people read the thread not the title

I have a dog and am very careful where I walk her . Avoid anywhere lonely and yes report this to police ASAP.The man sounds as though he has MH problems.

@SoreHeadAgainnnnn I'm glad you are ok but I cannot believe you still went into the deserted woods after that encounter. Have you learnt nothing from all the horror films and/or Crimewatch.

I don’t think reporting this online is enough. You need to speak to someone. Look at Wayne Couzens, one day he flashes someone at the drive through and the next he escalates massively.

this guy could get rejected so many times he escalates. Please please please report it properly

"Report it to the police" is the new "cancel the cheque" for 2025!

So sorry this happened op. Also sorry that some people have chosen to critiicise or disbelieve you. I feel like leaving the site when I see such posts.

I would have reacted similarly to you. I'm a very polite person by nature and I would have politely said that no, sorry, not interested. And I'd have probably walked off quickly and played it down in my head. So lesson learnt for me too.

No one knows how they will react in these kinds of situations.

@AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta 😀 Indeed! And even if people haven’t spotted the update do you really need to add in another “report it” when theres 9 pages full of it!

I would absolutely report this. He could escalate with someone else, or you if you go there again. It’s disgusting.

Definitely report to Police immediately and if they don’t get back to you Google to see if you have a safer neighbourhoods team or a number for local PCSOs or similar. Worth walking in to the local police station if they don’t reply.

Also put it on community WhatsApp and Facebook groups.

Don't walk unaccompanied in that area again. You shouldn’t have to change your behaviour, but this is sadly the world we live in.

Don’t let the police fob you off - write to your Police and Crime Commissioner if the local police don’t react.

Worth giving a call to 101 as well.

Order yourself a panic alarm, an 140db one. And a mini Farb spray, to use if the alarm doesn't deter future creeps.