Stranger asked for sex.

[SoreHeadAgainnnnn]

So this was really weird!! ...

(For context, I'm late 40s, married 20yrs, two kids, two dogs, average and tired looking!)

I took my dogs out for a walk yesterday. We were walking through a field and I heard a man's voice. Looked up and there was a man on a bike (maybe late 20s/early 30s, scruffy looking (the mum in me thought 'you could do with a bath') on the adjacent path (which is just up the bank from where I was - so maybe 15 foot away or so)).

He said 'can you have sex with me?'. I thought I must have misheard so asked him to repeat what he said and he said 'can you have sex with me?' Again I thought I can't have heard right! So I said 'can I have what?' and he said 'sex' and repeated 'sex' a few times, then was quite insistent 'can we have sex??'

I told him No. No! Several times. They, in a really kid like voice he said 'pleeeeeeeeeeaase' like he was begging me for some screen time or sweets!! I said 'no. No way. Go and find yourself a girlfriend'.

Then he sounded quite annoyed and said 'why not?' in a way that made it sound like I was being unreasonable to deny him sex!!!! I said 'well for starters I'm married!' (though there were obviously MULTIPLE reasons why I would not have sex with some random stranger in a field!!!!) At that point he went on his way!

It was quite intimidating and I can't believe he just thought it was ok to ask this!!

Further along the walk, I went into some woods. I was feeling a bit worried I'd bump into him or he'd come back and rape me (catastophising I know, but anyway..) then I saw two large trowel type tools - which looked like weapons like kind of wide trowel shaped swords, really big with serrated edges, stuck down in a tree trunk'. It completely freaked me out!!

My dogs and I survived the walk !! But so many weird things have happened on that walk in the last few months, with yesterday's two incidents being the worst.

AIBU never to walk the dogs there again?

But I have nowhere else walking distance to walk them!

Also - do a anyone know what these trowel shaped weapons are? I tried to Google 'large trowel shaped weapons serrated edge' but nothing like what I saw came up! Anyone know why they might've been there? (They definitely weren't innocently left by the charitable tree planting types. These were definitely purposely put there and looked like a signal or warning or something. They also looked expensive so I kept looking around as I can't imagine the person who put them there would've been far away as they wouldn't want to loose them or get them nicked)

Yes definitely the police - this kind of behaviour often escalates and increases so you (and other women who report this guy) could be saving someone in the future.
It all sounds very scary, sorry it has impacted your leisure time.

There's really no point......😂

I do hope so!

I hope you’re okay OP. People will tell you how they would have reacted to this, the reality is none of know. We all like to think we’d boot him in the balls and do a runner, the reality when you’re in these situations is quite different. All very easy when you’re safe at home on the internet on your couch.

Have you reported it?

Definitely report it! Weird things like this is how most true crime stories start. I would've of been petrified if I was you. I really hope you are okay. And no I would definitely not walk there again, if I did I would be carrying pepper spray or some sort of defence just in case. Honestly that is just not right, it's giving me anxiety just thinking about it, can't imagine how your feeling.

I would definitely repot him.

You used your instincts and here you are, alive and well. No one else was there and therefore no one else has a right to criticise how you managed this deeply unpleasant and intimidating situation.

I can't believe how many only read the OP

Never walk there again. You did not catastrophise. That was your intuition telling you something was seriously wrong. Well done for getting out of there unscathed.

This. Until I hit my 40's I probably wouldn't have reported this to the police and I've had lots of inappropriate propositions from creepy men over the years.

You acted in the same way I would've OP - it's shock. Anyway what were you supposed to do run off screaming or get aggressive and potentially anger him?

He sounds like a nutter. In my experience the police will do nothing except log it.

Put those mysterious tools to good use?

(She has reported him)

All very odd. I’m glad you reported it.
a friend of mine always carry’s either a small can of spray deodorant or deep heat in her bag when she goes for a walk. Might be something to consider.

Id also take a different route even if it’s not as convenient, for a few days, or take someone with you. Did the police offer you any advice?
I’d also check local Facebook groups as well to see if anyone has commented on it happening to them.

I hope you're ok OP and glad you reported it. Please don't allow the obnoxious blamers to cause you any further upset.

Yes, report it.

DH reported a man wanking on a bench. The police sent two police cars and arrested the wanking man. They took it very seriously. In the end the man was fined.

How scary for you @SoreHeadAgainnnnn and how sad that women try to protect themselves by automatically saying I'm married - deep down we know the only thing that makes them go away is saying another man has a claim on us.

(catastophising I know, but anyway..)

No! That's not catastrophising, that's being realistic. Don't make yourself sound like some silly woman - you're not at all. Hope you're OK & no, I wouldn't walk there again alone.

Op I think I have the same reflex as you and more than once have been flashed after allowing some random to engage me in conversation. I think I’m just polite so if I don’t hear then I’ll say excuse me. Or when asked for sex say no thank you which apparently means drop your pants and wank at me.

It hasn’t happened in a long time since I was in 20s. I’d be utterly shocked if it happened now in my 40s.

If it doesn't cease poor OP will need another thread - 'Traumatised by Strangers on MN'.

People are STILL telling OP to report it! Good grief.

Maybe this has been pointed out before on the thread but please also mention it on your local facebook group or NextDoor equivalent. I'd definitely want to know if this was local to me.

My post was not nasty. I was concerned, and wanted her to realise she was putting herself in danger. I was not trying to hurt her, quite the opposite.

This must be challenging 'cancel the cheque' for the number of posts recommending a certain type of action on the OP's part.

I have been assaulted in the past so I understand why you may feel this way but 'Men are scum' is hate speech.

As females we grow up normalising unwanted attention from men and so it’s normal to think you might be overreacting to report it.

But you were absolutely right to do so.

He is likely mentally unwell but so are the majority of rapists and peadophiles and it’s really important to keep reporting these things.

He will absolutely say this to a teenage girl and hopefully the more that he’s reported, the more likely the police will deal with him.

Good on you OP.