Stranger asked for sex.

[SoreHeadAgainnnnn]

So this was really weird!! ...

(For context, I'm late 40s, married 20yrs, two kids, two dogs, average and tired looking!)

I took my dogs out for a walk yesterday. We were walking through a field and I heard a man's voice. Looked up and there was a man on a bike (maybe late 20s/early 30s, scruffy looking (the mum in me thought 'you could do with a bath') on the adjacent path (which is just up the bank from where I was - so maybe 15 foot away or so)).

He said 'can you have sex with me?'. I thought I must have misheard so asked him to repeat what he said and he said 'can you have sex with me?' Again I thought I can't have heard right! So I said 'can I have what?' and he said 'sex' and repeated 'sex' a few times, then was quite insistent 'can we have sex??'

I told him No. No! Several times. They, in a really kid like voice he said 'pleeeeeeeeeeaase' like he was begging me for some screen time or sweets!! I said 'no. No way. Go and find yourself a girlfriend'.

Then he sounded quite annoyed and said 'why not?' in a way that made it sound like I was being unreasonable to deny him sex!!!! I said 'well for starters I'm married!' (though there were obviously MULTIPLE reasons why I would not have sex with some random stranger in a field!!!!) At that point he went on his way!

It was quite intimidating and I can't believe he just thought it was ok to ask this!!

Further along the walk, I went into some woods. I was feeling a bit worried I'd bump into him or he'd come back and rape me (catastophising I know, but anyway..) then I saw two large trowel type tools - which looked like weapons like kind of wide trowel shaped swords, really big with serrated edges, stuck down in a tree trunk'. It completely freaked me out!!

My dogs and I survived the walk !! But so many weird things have happened on that walk in the last few months, with yesterday's two incidents being the worst.

AIBU never to walk the dogs there again?

But I have nowhere else walking distance to walk them!

Also - do a anyone know what these trowel shaped weapons are? I tried to Google 'large trowel shaped weapons serrated edge' but nothing like what I saw came up! Anyone know why they might've been there? (They definitely weren't innocently left by the charitable tree planting types. These were definitely purposely put there and looked like a signal or warning or something. They also looked expensive so I kept looking around as I can't imagine the person who put them there would've been far away as they wouldn't want to loose them or get them nicked)

You have to ask? Jesus. Call the police. I would be urgent about it, I reckon he's putting this enticing proposition to every woman he comes across in a lonely, deserted woodland ... bloody hell.

The tools may or may not have anything to do with him but I'd have removed them carefully, possibly with dog poo bags over the handles, to give to the police when I made my call.

Please, PLEASE MNHQ can we have a "WTF" reaction icon? 😠<-- perhaps?

Report this OP and please don’t go walking there again. It doesn’t sound at all safe.

SHE HAS REPORTED IT

SHE HAS REPORTED IT

SHE HAS REPORTED IT

Please report this to the police! What a fright you must have got!

As a man who often walks his dogs in some fairly quiet fields/ wooded areas and sees women doing the same , I’d find it way beyond acceptable to say such a thing, no wonder women end up not wanting to go to such places alone to walk the dogs or even just jogging/walking,worth at least the mention to the police , hopefully they send the occasional officer down to check

The op has reported it to the police.

Wow. Was he from a culture where women are discouraged from being out and about with a chaperone, or going 'uncovered'? That's an absolutely vile thing to say to you. So much hatred and contempt in a young boy. Where is he learning that stuff? It's terrifying.

@BMW6 do you know if the OPs reported it? If not hopefully some helpful soul will pop up soon and suggest she does!

The OP updated 2 1/2 hours ago that she reported it.

This.

You were absolutely not catastrophising to
worry he could have raped you. He is absolutely someone you should have down as a potential threat to you. Women should not minimize their valid fears or apologize for them or see them as ‘silly’.

There was a woman raped near me when walking her dog in a local ( popular, well used, well pathed) nature spot.

Agre with others to inform the police. They may have had other reports of this man too.

If you have a local Facebook page you can post the incident there to warn other dog walkers

Was it one of these OP ?

https://spinadiscmetaldetectors.com/products/short-handled-stainless-steel-evolution-trowel-with-teeth?currency=GBP&variant=14046451925057&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Google%20Shopping&stkn=f4c82f67adab&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjwm7q-BhDRARIsACD6-fUdsI32YZ8QMbHbdWOyZ6VG6fRm1cfThS1_ZeLP7-CHBAXX-b2_vOkaAk2GEALw_wcB

Just read all the OP updates. Jesus, can’t believe people have been criticising or hassling you on this thread! What’s wrong with some people!?

Don’t apologise for your response to the situation.

We’ve been told for years that people respond with “fight or flight”, but the fact is there are 3 other totally normal responses too - freeze, fawn and flop. All of them are valid responses to trauma.

Be kind to yourself - you did nothing wrong.

I totally understand why you were hesitant. If you’re an ‘older’ woman you may have been brought up appeasing men and minimising.
Im glad you reported it.
Whenever you’re in a pickle just ask yourself, what would I have done if this happened to my child. That’s your answer

Good Lord OP. This is one of the times I wish women could carry guns. Good thing you had your dog with you.

Expecting anything from the police these days is a waste of time, but you can only do your bit.

Have you had a response yet OP?

Starting my comment with She's reported it to the Police - for those who can't figure out how to hit that hyperlink in the original post on the top of every page where it says 'see all'

For many people contacting the Police isn't an everyday occurrence, so the pile on of 'why haven't you ...: is unnecessary and unhelpful.

Reporting online follows the same process as dialling 101, it's dealt with by experienced Police trained staff, you'll get a reference number to follow up if you need to, and you're not tying up staff in person where there may be more immediate issues. There's nothing to say the tools she found are connected to this man (although I'd suspect they are). This happened yesterday so it's not an immediate event.

Advice from Police will be always carry your mobile phone and ensure it's fully charged. Fully charged.

Rachel Nichol murdered walking her dog and 3 year old on Wimbledon Common, 1992.

Fields, parks, streets. It's men.

The police might well already know who he is, OP. The more reports they have the better. He sounds very unwell and might be in need of hospital treatment.

@Treetops12 You’ve accidentally posted onto an existing thread. If you go to the topic you want to post about then you can start your own thread there to get advice.

SHE REPORTED IT. First and foremost.

And to those questioning why did OP go in the woods, why did she talk to him, why didn't she report, etc.. You never know how you react until you're in the situation like this.

I've had multiple shitty and dangerous encounters in my teens/early 20s (I'm slightly more careful now). And reacted differently at different times.

Had very similar to OP's, but I was about 17 and the creep was early 20s or thereabouts. Also in a secluded spot, by the canal. He was quite scary looking in hindsight, not really dishevelled, quite well dressed actually, hair washed, etc. But had a sort of empty look in his eyes and was fit and muscly.

I had a massive argument with my parents and was blamed for stuff I didn't do, plus had a fallout with a friend that day, party I wanted to go to was cancelled - all in all I had a shitty day and was very pissed off, so decided to walk it off, sort of fuming/ranting to myself (in my mind). Also I'm typically not shy and a bit bolshy.

So that guy also popped out of nowhere, from behind a tree. No one around. And also asked for sex and when I said no, he started wheedling, sort of semi-crying and begging in this reedy voice. Now that I think about it, he was clearly on something and/or not right in the head, physically much stronger and fitter than me and could have raped me or even killed me easily. Yet at the time I was already pissed off and his wheedling disgusted me and pissed me off even more, so I started laughing at him, mocking him and taking the piss. Told him to fuck off. He got embarrassed/startled and run off.

Was it the smartest strategy? Probs not. But I reacted automatically, without thinking. Or maybe it actually was? I embarrassed him and he left. Had I ignored him and walked on - maybe he would have followed me? Who knows now.

Although the next time, I was walking home, alone, at night, after a party. There was a bus stop in front of me, two men sitting there. This was maybe 3-4 in the morning. I was still slightly away from them, one of them looked at me and roared with an loud, hateful voice: 'YOU BIIIIITCH!!!! that's it, YOU'RE DEAD NOW!!!!'. My heart fell into my heels. What would you do? Run, probably. Yet I was rooted to the spot, and he was coming to me. Not even running, just walking up. And I was standing there like an absolute idiot, waiting. He came up and said 'oh sweetheart, don't be scared, that wasn't for you!' and proceeded to chase a couple (man and woman) like 50m straight behind me, whom I didn't even see.

Then I woke up, ran to the other direction behind some buildings and phoned the police.

You never know how you'll react. Or at least I don't..

You need to tell the police in case he tries to attack other women.

Secondly it’s not catastrophising to be worried he’d attack you. That’s a perfectly reasonable concern for any woman who is out alone generally 2bh.

Wouldn't expect a response for a couple of days - 48 hours would probably be the aim, would possibly be an email or maybe a call. This happened yesterday, it was verbal. People say the Police are useless but they are so understaffed ...