Would you judge a 26 year old (mum of 2) who casually sleeps with someone who is 18?

[PinkieToeZ]

Would really appreciate people’s opinions on this, thank you

She's not my neighbour. I never said she was. Read my post again. I know people who live near her.

Have I hit a raw nerve? 👀

Yup, not private either but both the boys grammar schools did and neither of the girls grammar schools did. I would have preferred the uniform wearing normal clothes to school was a nightmare.

Yes people change a lot, thats life

its not a relationship by the sounds of it but even if it was, thats up to them.

I think we have created life stages by infantilising young people s that they are essentially still treated like children while they're at university.

In the days when very few people went to university, people of 18 had often been in work for a couple of years, still had growing up to do of course but were not as immature.

No one knows anything about this pair. Essentially is no one elses business.

Yes I’d probably quietly judge… but at the end of the day they are legally two consenting adults so not much else you can do 🤷‍♀️

No.

Ummm I had a ONS with a 19 year old as a single mum in my mid twenties- he was more than happy, consenting, willing. It wasn’t the best sex ever and I can’t actually remember his name as I was pretty drunk. But was it abusive or perverse? Hell no!
Was it something I repeated? No. And it certainly would never ever have been a relationship… I had spent most of the night brushing him off as too young, and he persuaded me for one night only- but I’d never have seen him as anything other than one night. Which is fair.

It's a tricky one. Yes, I'd judge silently. I think it's a bit grim.

I shouldn't judge. I met my DH when I was 18, and he was 30. We're still together now. But with the benefit of age and wisdom, I now find it a bit creepy and grim.

I think my DH does, too. He now has children around the same age. I think he'd be horrified if any of them began seeing a 30 year old.

As we can see, it only takes seconds to judge on MN.

When I read the OP's question my first thought was yes, I probably would judge that, but having read the thread I realise that I don't really give a damn.

No, not if they were both single. In my opinion balance of power is more to do with if one person is more emotionally attached than the other, than an age gap between two adults.

I'd judge the bejeesus out of her and no, most 18 year old lads are not so desperate for sex that they are grateful for the opportunity with a 26 year old mother of two. I'd see him as a bit of a sad case and easily exploited.

Both adults both legal.

But morally....hmm.

Having said that I'm not really judgemental about stuff like this. I'd be more concerned if it was a 16yo and 24/26yo...

The parent out of the two though needs to be more discerning.

The gap in brain development still going on for the younger one but completed for the older one is enough to make it gross. An ex of mine slept with an 18 year old at the age of 26. Still find it disgusting. Would feel the same if the genders were flipped. At least when there are age gaps in later life, the brain is fully developed in both and it's not an issue.

Well...I doubt either of them think it's going to last forever.

Yes

Yes.

Half your age plus 7 is the rule. So that's 20. Anything younger than that is wrong and immoral.

Yes. I can see the appeal of easily available sex for the 18 year old, but if it’s stopping him from learning how to develop and negotiate real relationships with people his own age, that’s taking something away from him.

Yes I would !!

No way…a lot of perfect people on here as always 🙄 2 consenting adults…who actually has the time to care, or judge? Weird.

No, I wouldn't. My DH is 7 years older than me, so I was 19 and he was 26. We've been together for 25 years at the end of this year. When I was 18, I was absolutely able to make an informed decision, and I would've been extremely pissed off if someone had said it was weird for me to sleep with a 26 year old.

She was an adult. She met someone and liked them and vice versa. What was her work? This position of power thing is really getting old - I mean if she was an aspiring actress and he was a producer and he offered to get her roles in order to pressure her into a relationship sure. But otherwise, come on.

If you think a 19 year old is old enough to drive a car, or train as a doctor, why are they not old enough to choose who they sleep with?

I mean someone was on here the other day saying their 17 year old had had a baby and wasn’t stepping up, and everyone was saying ‘she’s old enough to do it alone, kick her out and make her take responsibility’ and ‘when I was that age I had three kids, a mortgage and 2 jobs, I could do it so she has no excuse’….so we all believe that a 17 year old is old enough to look after a tiny baby all by themselves but to choose who they’re sleeping with at 19 is beyond their capacity and they’re all vulnerable and coerced?

This site is so stupid. let me get this mumsnet human abilities timeline straight:

• 6 year olds - capable of playing at random people’s houses without parental supervision.
• 17 year olds - can raise kids, live alone and be fully adult.
• 19 year olds - can’t look after themselves at all.

Yes just as I would if you were a man Sleeping an 18 year old, which is barely more than a child

This works really well doesn't it 👀. 60 ÷ 2 = 30 + 7 = 37. I'd have preferred to be shagging a 26 year old at 18, rather than shagging a 60 year old at 37. No offence to anyone, that's just my personal opinion.

Yes. Grim. And embarrassing for the 26 year old.

Would I have done it myself, God no.
Would I judge it, probably not. It's not my business as they are consenting adults.