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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you judge a 26 year old (mum of 2) who casually sleeps with someone who is 18?

313 replies

PinkieToeZ · 09/03/2025 21:32

Would really appreciate people’s opinions on this, thank you

OP posts:
Pippapotamus · 09/03/2025 22:09

No I wouldn't judge. I don't think an 8 year age gap at 18 is that big.

CaptainFuture · 09/03/2025 22:10

heroinechic · 09/03/2025 22:01

I had a fling with an 18 year old when I was 23. I had just finished uni and he had finished college so we were both starting out in our careers (he wasn't going to uni) so although there was an age gap we were kind of at the same stage in our lives.

It didn't seem particularly weird to me and I don't think the extra three years makes a huge difference, but I wonder what they would have in common when one is a mother of two and presumably in a different place in their life with different priorities.

5 years age difference?

GloriousBlue · 09/03/2025 22:15

Yes

CaptainFuture · 09/03/2025 22:15

Pippapotamus · 09/03/2025 22:09

No I wouldn't judge. I don't think an 8 year age gap at 18 is that big.

Oh its huge. An 18 yo could still be at school, a 26 yo be 5 years post university!

Diningtableornot · 09/03/2025 22:15

Best not to judge, but it could turn out to be difficult, especially if the children are introduced to the young man.

Poonu · 09/03/2025 22:16

No

SunnyViper · 09/03/2025 22:17

Yep

Dragonsandcats · 09/03/2025 22:18

Yes.

Cattreesea · 09/03/2025 22:18

I don't see what a 26 year old mother of two would have in common with a 18 year old.

It's grim, legal or not.

If she is after casual sex someone her own age or older would not be that difficult to find.

tipsyraven · 09/03/2025 22:18

No. What consenting adults do is none of my business.

vodkaredbullgirl · 09/03/2025 22:19

🤔wonder if OP will be back?

alwaysdeleteyourcookies · 09/03/2025 22:21

I would hope they used protection and wonder why a 26 year old would want to go there tbh.

haufbiskiy · 09/03/2025 22:21

Yes, it’s predatory and grim. An 18 year old is still really a child

Hollyhedge · 09/03/2025 22:22

No, I’d think fair play

Motheranddaughter · 09/03/2025 22:23

No
Both are adults
I don’t judge this sort of thing

sometimesmovingforwards · 09/03/2025 22:23

Yes of course 🤣🤣🤣

ScentOfAMoomin · 09/03/2025 22:23

It’s not only a big age gap but a very big life experience gap

AngeloMysterioso · 09/03/2025 22:24

I was dating a 27ish year old when I was 18 and nobody batted an eyelid including my own mother... it's hard to think of a reason why it wouldn't be ok the other way around for reasons that aren't even a little bit sexist.

Hollyhedge · 09/03/2025 22:24

soupyspoon · 09/03/2025 21:54

I would imagine the 18 year old hasnt got a lot in common with a woman who is a parent of 2, but I wouldnt judge negatively, I dont think its 'inappropriate' (MN favourite phrase), I dont think its 'ew' (or whatever childish sound others might make)

I would imagine its about sex for the both of them and they're both consenting adults unless theres a back story where one or both of them has LD or something

Exactly. They are just having sex. Why is it such a big deal.

Hollyhedge · 09/03/2025 22:25

ScentOfAMoomin · 09/03/2025 22:23

It’s not only a big age gap but a very big life experience gap

Casual sex unlikely to be down to common life experiences

Ahostofgoldendaffodils · 09/03/2025 22:30

I was 18 when I met my now DH, who was 26. Been together 30 years now, married 20 of them have 3 DC. Never really noticed the age gap, no one ever passed comment - to our faces anyway

ToWhitToWhoo · 09/03/2025 22:32

It depends. If the 18-year-old is still at school, yes, I would. If he is already working, probably not. If he's at university, a bit but not as much as with a schoolboy,

But to be honest, I wouldn't think it that great for the mum of two presumably very young children to be having casual sex with anyone. I hope that at least she's not bringing him home or introducing him to the kids.

LoveFridaynight · 09/03/2025 22:33

I dated someone ten years older than me when I was seventeen. I don't understand why people judge so much.
They are both adults and can do what they want. It sounds like it's just a bit of fun for both of them so what's the problem?

zaxxon · 09/03/2025 22:34

It's not great, but I think 19 and 27 are OK ... and 20 and 28 would be totally fine

Nellsbell · 09/03/2025 22:36

It’s not the years that’s the problem it’s the fact that he is still a teenager. I would think he is enjoying some kind of milf status amongst friends.

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