To distance myself from frined with toddler since she never has time for me without baby?

[Vicosa321]

I understand having a toddler may be a hard work but its not like her kid has 2 set of grandparents that live minutes away or have a father that is involved, her kid is 1 year and 3 months old. I have asked to do some one on one time with her 1 month ago. I said i be waiting for her to have a day that works for her but no more to that. But last night she posts about she having a drink and bowling with her other bestie and partner without baby. Seems like they do this 1 time a month thing. That makes me a bit sad and less priotized as a friend that she rather hang with her other bestie, maybe it makes sense because she also has a toddler same age as my friends and her partner also get along with hers. (Her partner also get along with my partner). Thing is that she be like «been so long! Miss hanging with uuuuu» but no compromise. Like her child is lovley but its her i want to hang out with, it also a whole another dynamic when baby comes along. So im i being unreasonable for keeping my distance? Sadly i kinda feel like im not getting anything out about this friendship right now. Its all about her and her toddler, and most of the snapchat she sends me about its her child. I miss her ofc but i don’t think a friendship is supposed to be one sided, and it makes me feel sad. But may be because we drifting apart.

All I'm getting from this post is that mothers make shit friends and everything should be on their terms at all times. And that despite this the childless will always come out of it the bad guys.

OP I'd sack her off for a few years because you don't have time for her as your life is more important and see how receptive she is when you come back later on expecting to pick up where you left off.

OP, you're copping a pasting on this thread, but I do get where you're coming from. As the Childfree Person, it can be tricky catching up with a friend who brings their toddler. They are adorable, but can be so demanding! You don't really get to have a proper conversation with your friend because the child wants to play, or needs to use the toilet, or wants another drink, etc.

I feel that in the early years, the childfree friend should give the parent friend a lot of grace, and be the more accommodating party. But there does reach a point where the balance need to tip back to a somewhat more equal footing. 15 months is still rather young though. Your friend may be still finding her feet as a working mother of a young toddler. I'd personally give it another couple of years - if your friend still refuses to leave her 3-year-old at home with her other parent occasionally, to grab a coffee 1-on1 with you, then yeah, it might be a problem!

One more thought: what's worked well for me, is going over to my friend's place. The kids tend to be calmer and less distracted in their own environment. I usually interact with the child(ren) for a bit, then they go and play / nap / etc, and my friend and I get to catch up. Win-win for everyone. Is that an option for you?