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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

IButtleSir · 08/03/2025 08:40

mellongoose · 08/03/2025 08:14

There are so many teachers on MN and they often take strange twists and turns in order to defend each other and make sure they never do anything wrong.

This is indefensible and the OP has every right to post.

Totally unacceptable behaviour and chilling. It should be highlighted.

Eh? It was a teacher who was attacked! Why on earth do you think teachers would be defending this?

IButtleSir · 08/03/2025 08:45

PreventPomtoPerson · 08/03/2025 07:56

And these are the people we are trusting with our children. Surprised they had any time to teach in between all the shagging and fighting. Disgraceful behaviour.

Why are you equating shagging with fighting? Teachers are allowed to have sex. There's not even any evidence that anyone had extra-marital sex- the female teacher and deputy head could easily have been in a relationship, and the head was angry because he had an attraction to the female teacher.

The only person who we know has done anything wrong is the head- let's save our ire for him rather than his victims.

ALovelyShadeofMauve · 08/03/2025 08:46

Because two pathetic men were fighting over her?

What an absolutely disgusting thing to say. You are lumping the victim in with the perpetrator when you have precisely zero idea of the facts. You should be fucking ashamed.

ALovelyShadeofMauve · 08/03/2025 08:53

Op just wanted the ‘thrill’ of being connected to some drama.

I can’t see much of a “thrill” in telling anonymous strangers about it whilst you also remain anonymous. It’s a 900-pupil school - that means she could be any one of 1800 people, none of whom any of us know. If this is post is just showing off or a way of getting some vicarious ghoulish attention, it seems a very odd way to go about it.

m00rfarm · 08/03/2025 08:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

It was at her child's school. She is shocked. Why should she not post about it? Weird responses.

WispasAreNicerThanFlakes · 08/03/2025 09:05

Hope your children are ok OP?

What a bloody awful thing to happen and witness.

PreventPomtoPerson · 08/03/2025 09:06

IButtleSir · 08/03/2025 08:45

Why are you equating shagging with fighting? Teachers are allowed to have sex. There's not even any evidence that anyone had extra-marital sex- the female teacher and deputy head could easily have been in a relationship, and the head was angry because he had an attraction to the female teacher.

The only person who we know has done anything wrong is the head- let's save our ire for him rather than his victims.

Nobody said they weren’t allowed to have sex. But teachers are supposed to be professionals and when relationships with colleagues (whether extra curricular or not!) spill over into professional lives as per the “love triangle” mentioned in the press, it becomes an issue.

WispasAreNicerThanFlakes · 08/03/2025 09:09

I’ve read the article now. I’m amazed The Fail hasn’t named the woman or somehow tried to blame her. Are we seeing a change at last?

or are they just scared of being sued?

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 08/03/2025 09:15

mathanxiety · 08/03/2025 01:25

Because two pathetic men were fighting over her?

She might have had no interest in either of them.

I agree. And even if she dif, it's not her fault thst one man decided to try to bash in the brains of another man.
Not that that will stop yet another episode of male violence being turned into a woman's fault. I fully expect to read so many posts on the Internet piling it all on her. It's always the way

AquaPeer · 08/03/2025 09:16

WispasAreNicerThanFlakes · 08/03/2025 09:09

I’ve read the article now. I’m amazed The Fail hasn’t named the woman or somehow tried to blame her. Are we seeing a change at last?

or are they just scared of being sued?

This has been the way for a while tbh. Greater expectations of privacy (from law, regulation and sector practise)

Beatboxing · 08/03/2025 09:26

All I’ll say is (as a local to this story so I’ve seen a lot of FB posts about it) there are clearly one or two parents of children at the school that have had serious gripes with the school and the headteacher himself in the past and are now repeatedly creating new FB posts in local groups hoping to keep the story fresh and give them an outlet for their own complaints about the headteacher and the school.

StumbleInTheDebris · 08/03/2025 09:27

If you're a teacher and have made the decision to bash a colleague's head in with a spanner, why in earth would you also choose to do this in front of the pupils?

It seems a deliberate choice rather than waiting until they were alone or following him after school hours.

Obviously the whole thing is deranged but this makes it worse.

Bringmeahigherlove · 08/03/2025 09:40

Upstanding Catholics!

Dollydaydream100 · 08/03/2025 09:44

What a nutter!

CautiousLurker01 · 08/03/2025 09:45

Sarnpark · 07/03/2025 22:57

This was at my child's school. I am so shocked that a headteacher would do this in front of students

Apologies for the Dailyfail link: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-14472907/headteacher-admits-attacking-deputy-spanner-pupils.html

How desperately shocking for your children and community. Have the police put some community support in place, especially for the children who witnessed it? It seems to be a church school, have the church stepped in to offer a service or support for you all?

Nanny0gg · 08/03/2025 09:45

AllyCart · 08/03/2025 06:32

YABU

Is AIBU for posting on absolutely any subject now?

Has been for a long time now

Crocmush · 08/03/2025 09:46

Bringmeahigherlove · 08/03/2025 09:40

Upstanding Catholics!

One person in this story did something we know to be wrong. Why claim others have, unless you have some inside info.

Sarnpark · 08/03/2025 09:53

CautiousLurker01 · 08/03/2025 09:45

How desperately shocking for your children and community. Have the police put some community support in place, especially for the children who witnessed it? It seems to be a church school, have the church stepped in to offer a service or support for you all?

Yes, some support is in place for the children but I don't think they will ever get over witnessing an attempted murder.

Yes, strange first few responses to my post - we need to talk about male violence, especially when we are placing our children in the care of these people.

OP posts:
ALovelyShadeofMauve · 08/03/2025 09:53

All I’ll say is (as a local to this story so I’ve seen a lot of FB posts about it) there are clearly one or two parents of children at the school that have had serious gripes with the school and the headteacher himself in the past

Can’t think why…

Bringmeahigherlove · 08/03/2025 09:57

Crocmush · 08/03/2025 09:46

One person in this story did something we know to be wrong. Why claim others have, unless you have some inside info.

I don’t but it says love triangle. To be senior leadership in a Catholic school you have to be Catholic so the Head and the Deputy will be. I’m guessing the Deputy is the other man in the love triangle. I’ve potentially wrongly assumed the other parties are married so I’ll change my original post to “upstanding Catholic” until more comes out.

Dollydaydream100 · 08/03/2025 09:59

People or men?

Men. 99.9% of the time anyway. Women don't tend to go around attacking people with spanner's.

For those speculating about the circumstances - we have no idea if this man was involved with the female teacher. He could've just been infatuated with her in some way.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 08/03/2025 10:15

PreventPomtoPerson · 08/03/2025 09:06

Nobody said they weren’t allowed to have sex. But teachers are supposed to be professionals and when relationships with colleagues (whether extra curricular or not!) spill over into professional lives as per the “love triangle” mentioned in the press, it becomes an issue.

This could as easily be a creepy stalker/sexual harassment case where the DHT was the investigating officer of a grievance, notified the Trustees/Governors of behaviour towards another member of staff or was a witness and absolutely no actual relationship took place. Poor bloody woman, poor bloody DHT, poor bloody families and poor bloody kids that witnessed any of the attack.

LBFseBrom · 08/03/2025 10:23

Gordon Bennett! Now I've heard everything. Words fail me. It is shocking that he did it all, never mind in front of pupils. He must have been deranged. He's finished now. He'll be useful for teaching fellow inmates in a secure centre, a new career.

This will be the talk of the town for a long time to come. The last thing anyone expects to happen. The school will go down in history.

PreventPomtoPerson · 08/03/2025 10:31

The email sent from the overgrown toddler who couldn’t control his own emotions said that he believed another teacher at the school was also having affairs with at least two other members of staff including the one he attacked so the scenario you’ve mentioned doesn’t fit. Considering his own wife also works at the school I’d imagine all will out.

offmynut · 08/03/2025 10:32

I get quoted alot when i say i hate schools and im not keen on teachers.
This is why. We are ment to trust these people with our kids.