He didn’t go to Tesco?

[purpleparroty]

I’ve been ill with the flu for the past few days and am in the worst of it, asked DH if he could pop to the shops and get some dinner in, and food for dc over the weekend, as we have nothing in and I thought he would stop at Tesco on his way home from work.

He decided to go to our village newsagents which sells no fresh food and spent 50 FUCKING QUID on crap. He got unbranded frozen ready meals which no one in our house would touch with a barge pole. The rest went on crisps / chocolate / ice cream / pot noodles. He didn’t even get bread (which they actually sell). Because i’ve not been happy about this he’s now gone in a mood and said he’s not bothering again. AIBU to be psised off he didn’t go to tesco and get real food the kids actually eat and not just chocolate and crisps. And now he’s moaning saying he didn’t know he wasn’t ‘allowed’ to go to the village shop and that i should have told him. I shouldn’t fucking have to tell people to use their brain.

In today’s episode of “A Woman is always to blame and the bar for men is in Hades”….

Yes still I’m afraid

Walmart still retain Asda as an equity investment.
It wasn’t a 100% sale on to the Issa brothers.

Yeah I don't think OP wants to come back

This is weaponised incompetence if ever I saw it! The male of the species can’t manage a trip to the supermarket to support his sick wife and his own children? Come on!!

So what was she moaning for? Useless fucktard did what he does when asked to do it.

Sounds like an all fed no one dead day.
Did she suddenly think he was going to put effort in?
its not like she's just met him on a dating app she knows his neanderthal limits and has chosen to moan to strangers about it instead of speaking to Captain Caveman.

She has spoken to him about it, and his response was to sulk.

I would agree that he was a twat, but actually OP has said nothing to suggest his usual response to being asked to go to Tesco solo is to drop £50 they can't afford on shit from a corner shop that won't actually do the kids for a meal. They usually shop together or have online deliveries booked in advance.

Like I said she hasn't just met him on a dating app she knows his incapabilities.

Like I said, we actually have no idea whether OP knew he was 'incapable' of not following a direct instruction to go to Tesco, or that he'd instead go and buy £50 of crap from the corner shop. She hasn't addressed whether a situation like this has ever happened before.

Maybe she should do that instead of whining on Mumsnet.
Maybe OP should show him this thread and see what a sulk he can get on then.
Then maybe she may like a grown up for a husband.

If she addressed it, ie told us, that would potentially also involve whining on MN! But it is actually quite possible that she had no idea because this hasn't come up before.

I hope you're feeling better now, OP? Adding my voice to the chorus of posters suggesting that your husband is using his uselessness as some sort of way of life. He has behaved like a dick.

Nobody really thinks that this is ok, not in the real world where people really don't eat crisps/chocolate as a meal or think that their children or sick wife would benefit from that diet.

I guess only the OP knows that for sure but you seem to know plenty about it.

He sounds like a child.

Actually worse when I was 12 years old I was given the same mission as my Dad had done his back in and was bed ridden. I proudly came back with a duck as it was on offer, which as my bemused DF pointed out I had no idea how to cook. But I found a recipe in a book we had and gave it a go, we ate a meal, and had atleast tried.

Well, I know what she's written. But it's not sufficient to actually tell us whether any of the claims you've made about knowing she was like this are true or not. So not plenty, really.

Yes she says they used to go shopping together before DC but now they get deliveries on a Sunday and top ups on a Thursday/Friday. Shockingly DH turned into an incompetent sulking man child in the time she's had flu or he was always a dick and she's let him behave like one just moans behind his back. Oh well glad my bar isn't as low.

Your bar for filling in gaps could do with being a bit higher. But some people will find any excuse to blame women for men's bad behaviour, even when they have to entirely make it up.

It doesn't have to be the woman at all, but in this scenario, she had already done one

Imagine if this guy KNEW what havok on Mumsnet his momentary decision to go to the corner shop caused! Hahah

Imagine if your DH asked you to call in at the car spares shop on your way home from work on a Fri day night to pick something up for the car and you didn't bother or picked up the wrong part and then a few days you found out there were 27 pages on Blokesnet slating you. Mortifying!

Ah yes, because women can’t do a ‘man job’ like ‘popping into the car spares shop’ (who the hell needs to do that on a weekly bases like a food shop?), so of course can’t expect a man to do a woman job like ‘feeding their children a normal dinner’…

I love the way people suggest Whoosh. I have no idea exactly where you need to live to have this service because I've never lived nor stayed anywhere that has it, is it central London only? We have only just got deliveroo and as it's only one husband and wife team that are local deliveroo drivers you often find there's no availability, plus there's only 4 places on deliveroo (one being Waitrose ). I'm in a town, in a village your options are even more limited

Yeah, Tesco Whoosh is really limited:

https://digitalcontent.api.tesco.com/v2/media/ghs-mktg/08fdc4d9-cfc2-4019-a1c7-6f745e006e40/2223-GHS-Whoosh-StoreList.pdf

Not remotely comparable. Car spares are specialist items needed once in a blue moon unless you are a mechanic. Food is about the most basic, repeated staple it's possible to.imagine and any NT adult ought to be able to figure out that crisps and chocolate is not "shop for food" material.

Tbf, if dh asked me to pick up bin bags I’d struggle to know which ones. Bins are his job and he empties and replaces the bags. The bins aren’t standard black bag size, we need two or three different types.

logically yes, it’s a simple job and I should know. But I don’t. Dh knows which packets to buy on sight. Same with light bulbs, he can nip to the shop and come back with the right one, I wouldn’t have a clue.

I can get bin bags and light bulbs right, and i have lived on my own and done it before, just it’s been so long I’d need to relearn before it becomes general knowledge.

this is one of the issues when women take on all the domestic duties. It’s like any job, even if it should be a no brainer if you don’t do it regularly what seems obvious isn’t.

if my mum asked me to go to the shops and pick her up something, I’d likely buy the “wrong” stuff if she didn’t give me a list as I don’t know what she’s got in, what she likes, if she’s got dog food- so I’d probably get “easy” stuff like ready meals and snacks to tide her over.

willing to bet o.p does near 100% of all the shopping and domestic duties. So he doesn’t know the habits and routines.

@Whycanineverthinkofone sorry but they are still not comparable examples. Light bulbs need to be very specific sizes, styles etc so it would be reasonable to not know. Bin bags, you can probably manage with the wrong ones. We're talking here about absolute basic food for someone's own children who are fed several times every single day . Bread, eggs, milk, beans, cheese would have done. He's their parent, not a random childless adult who might not realise kids don't like exotic flavours or something. There really is no excusing this, despite the mental gymnastics on here.