Time to call out shit parenting!

[RedHot2025]

Just watched an article on BBC breakfast about decay in children's teeth.

Professional talked about scheme where teachers teach children to brush teeth each day since many children don't brush their teeth or get shown how to.

The presentator Nagga said is it right for teachers to do this and have time to do this surely parents should. The professional did everything to not blame poor parenting.

I mean, why don't we just say things as they are anymore? The parents are not parenting if they cannot be bothered to teach children to brush teeth twice a day (or for that matter toilet train). Why is it now down to teachers?

Some parents appear to do sod all but just churn out children.

Note. This is not SEN children, just children in general in particular areas. Again same with teaching to use toilet, not sen related.

My youngest had tooth decay from very young and had teeth removed in hospital. Her diet was great but despite me being specifically told that breast milk doesn't harm teeth it must have been that. The decay was consistent with where fluids hit the teeth and she only drank water or cow's milk other than breastfeeding. She brushed her teeth fine but fed overnight as we coslept until quite late.

I know I was judged for it, but sometimes there are benign reasons.

I remember getting told about teeth brushing and dental hygiene at primary school 45 years ago.

this isn’t new

I brush my teeth 3 times a day and my children's the same on non-school days so personally I think adding brushing after lunch at school for all kids would be a good thing and hopefully help those who aren't supported to do it properly at home.
For anyone with a predisposition to dental issues/gum problems, may I suggest giving xylitol a try. Regular use changes the bacterial composition of your mouth and is meant to suppress the "bad" bacteria responsible for inflammation and tooth decay.

Some children won't brush their teeth or allow them to be brushed - neurodiversity or sensation sensitivity or gag reflex so brushing may not be possible.

I agree parents need to be on top of this but advice in those circumstances is poor.

I'd really like to see health and safety campaigns funded again. They worked when I was growing up and support parents ill equipped at raising kids.

I'd also like to see parenting in the national curriculum.

My niece had to get some baby teeth removed. Dentist said she ate too
much fruit. My sister felt awful. Kids of teeth brushing too.

There weren't talking about a one off education exercise but daily teeth cleaning because otherwise children don't have their teeth cleaned at all.

Yes there is a wave of shit parenting, not just this but kids with no sen going to school in nappies and other things that are very basic parenting fails. I think people are largely burnt out by two job households and still not making ends meet, but regardless kids need to be parented.

This is not a new thing. Lots of kids had dental decay at my primary school in the 70s. It was common for kids to have fillings and teeth out. Our parents were told by health visitors to give ribena as the main drink for the vitamin C. I have a feeling we had a dentist visit the school to check teeth as well as a nit nurse.

You've missed the point. It's not being told about dental hygiene etc as an education exercise its doing the tooth brushing for the entire class every day because otherwise children don't have their teeth brushed.

There are a couple of very 'middleclass' things that are really bad for kids teeth. Dried fruit, like mango, pineapple and raisins - they stick in teeth and rot them. And also milk alternatives. No calcium and added sugars.

I had a friend who's kids teeth got pulled because of the above... and not brushing properly.

Personally I think the systemic attack and devaluing of parenting in our tax system and the long hours we work compared to anywhere else in Europe are more significant reasons than parents don’t care.

There will be some totally awful parents, but the sheer numbers mean it’s likely it’s mum and dad trying to get ready for work and leave for the childminder in time and not supervising the brushing.

Ultimately if you require parents to both work long hours with high stress and housing costs (as is the case for many in the south east in particular), there are just less available hours for parenting.

We are one of the few countries that doesn’t allow for tax deductions for dependents.

What is to be achieved by telling parents “you must do better” over and over? Generally that’s a poor strategy for change.

They didn't spend £40 million on dental extractions for children then due to rotten teeth. So something has changed. The expert say that children just aren't brushing their teeth at all.

And I don’t agree with teacher’s having to do brushing in school. But I do think we must look at making parental work, work for children.

Which can't be true because everyone on this thread makes their kids and grandkids brush!

i haven’t read the whole thread but please consider that you are oversimplify things and creating stigma by drawing a direct line between decay, tooth extractions and bad parenting. There are fairly common but rarely spoken about conditions that can lead to decay and extractions despite best efforts of parents and children.
Please bring some balance and by all means discuss the benefits of schools supporting on dental health but calm down the vitriol please.
Thanks

This is different to being told about teeth brushing and dental hygiene. Most schools do lessons on dental hygiene and why this is important as part of PSCHE lessons and also in science. This is talking about everyday standard (usually home based) teeth brushing being handed over to schools for them to complete with children daily.

It mainly comes down to poverty, not phones. Even if toothbrushes and tooth paste are being provided for free, it needs to include the parents in the home so that kids learn from mum and dad. It might be a quid to buy…but a quid can be a meal. And if you can’t afford petrol or a bus fare and the dentist isn’t in walking distance then how do you access free dental care?

What did they spend per child in the 70s compared to now? I don't know but assume you have the figures to be able to compare? They wouldn't have admitted children to hospital then as they just did it in the dentist chair. So less ££

Naga. Not Nagga.

I am really troubled by the slow (actually, not that slow) creep of what schools are expected to provide children. It's no longer just education but personal care (teachers having to change nappies of 5+ year olds and not able to refuse because it's "discrimination"), food (teachers buying children breakfast from their own money because hungry children can't concentrate), social care, and on and on and on. It might be alright if schools were funded to employ people specifically for all these other aspects but they don't.

Yes!
I honestly doesn’t even understand why parents introduce toddlers to soft drinks, if all they know is water, they will like it.
Selfish behaviour from parents who want to feel good by treating their children - even if they are harming them in the long run.

Wasn’t it found that SureStart tended to attract the sort of parents who weren’t really in need of help or guidance anyway? I seem to remember that the sort of parents who would have benefited most, tended to stay away, assuming it’d consist of bossy MC types pointing out their failings and telling them what to do.

You need to ask why some parents are crap parents.

Generations of poverty, ill health, worklessness, crime, drugs, prostitution, you name it. Women bearing the brunt because feckless fathers are nowhere to be seen.

Those of you saying no excuse, well maybe not excuses but definitely reasons.

Maybe volunteer at a food bank or women's refuge then you might understand why toothbrushing might not be a priority for some families.

I'd hazard a guess most if us here are sitting in secure, warm homes with food in the fridge and time and inclination to debate this on Mumsnet. We have no idea.

Well you used to be able to take your kids to this place called a dentist for free and get dental hygiene advice on when to start brushing etc. Since Covid, it's become almost impossible to get an NHS dentist so people who can't afford to go private are just going without, and given that they obviously needed the valuable advice on how to brush etc that dentists used to give out, this is the result! Would it cost £40 million if the NHS didn't leave kids teeth until they were so bad they were falling out of their heads and instead actually funded enough dentists for all children to have one?

The professional said that there was a huge rise in children having dental extractions now and that it now cost the NHS £40,000,000 a year. I've no reason to assume that the professional was lying. Why would she.

Have you noticed it is in line with the slow creep of poverty, job insecurity and people working 2 jobs?