Time to call out shit parenting!

[RedHot2025]

Just watched an article on BBC breakfast about decay in children's teeth.

Professional talked about scheme where teachers teach children to brush teeth each day since many children don't brush their teeth or get shown how to.

The presentator Nagga said is it right for teachers to do this and have time to do this surely parents should. The professional did everything to not blame poor parenting.

I mean, why don't we just say things as they are anymore? The parents are not parenting if they cannot be bothered to teach children to brush teeth twice a day (or for that matter toilet train). Why is it now down to teachers?

Some parents appear to do sod all but just churn out children.

Note. This is not SEN children, just children in general in particular areas. Again same with teaching to use toilet, not sen related.

I know a kid who had 3 extractions because she had something called hypomineralisation. Of course the mum was demonised in the playground but had been told it might be connected to her kid having the antibiotic amoxicillin which apparently can cause it. The dentist could see this was the cause.

I would be interested to know if there is some overlap in this or if it was even taken into account with the statistics. With the rise in antibiotic use over the last 10 years has no one even considered there might be a link?

We'll have the teachers shower then too 🤷🏾‍♀️.

Yanbu.

Also linked to high fat, high sugar diet that sits on poorly cared for teeth. Children do not need squash or fruit juice every day.
One of DD’s classmates had 2 fillings at 5. She’s also overweight and has no food boundaries.

There are no excuses.

Taking away benefits may plunge people into poverty which is unhelpful especially if they have children. A third of children are already living in poverty.

Couldn't read past 'Nagga', sorry.

A good point, but that’s not the crap parenting OP means.

Yes. I do appreciate wanting to understand where people are coming from and recognise we have different children and different experiences but at the same time I do think about all the times I could've taken the easy route but I didn't and denied sugary drinks and snacks and told them how important brushing teeth is -- and ran after them with a toothbrush while still making an effort to make it fun. My kids have good teeth and it's mostly because of me and my DH.

Oh for God's sake - this is why the teacher's are having to do it!1

None of those are excuses for not brushing your kid's teeth.

If a parent is struggling so much that they can't brush their kids teeth, are they really fit to be a parent at all? What else aren't they able to do?

A couple of children in DC's class have bad tooth decay (you can see it from distance)

This could be DS2. A mix of genetic predisposition plus hyperemesis in pregnancy. I do feel guilty about it - I managed to eat properly when pg with DS1 and DS1 has zero tooth problems.

My child has this, she's had to have seven crowns fitted. She's had a lot of ear infections as a baby, actually ended up with grommets. It has really made me feel like a shit parent and I know other people judge me. We are actually very diligent at brushing her teeth!

Her dentist said it's not the antibiotics but the infection itself that's causing it. Apparently the body can temporarily redirect oxygen and other resources from the teeth to the site of the infection.

Is there a poverty aspect to this - are struggling parents les likely ? Because all humans only have so much effort to give to life. Is there a mental health aspect - struggling parents can't face the it ?

There is absolutely no excuse for children not brushing teeth or drinking water.

I'm sorry but some people should not be parents.

I am so glad someone started this thread. I was listening to Kinnock bleating on about schools teaching kids to brush their teeth on the BBC this morning. What exactly is parents role in bringing up their OWN children? Lazy, feckless, couldnt care less. Every excuse under the sun.

It also makes me think of the shoplifting tsanemi. People steal not because they are hungry but because they can, no one will stop them, security guards wont do anything and the poor staff. I used to work in retail myself a number of years ago. No way would I want to do it now. The stealing will get more and more blanant and will almost definitely turn into violence if someone tries to stop them. Then the bleeding hearts will say they had no choice, poor souls, bad parenting or the catch all excuse for a lot of bad behaviour or when people have been caught out 'mental health issues'

Last year my DD came out of school practically every day with a pack of sweets from the reward jar... I am by no means a parent that denies a treat now & again but it was too much. So that sort of thing doesn't help!

I think it's important to model this sort of thing to children, so teachers & parents can be helpful.

30 named little toothbrushes to store,three sinks. Four and 5 year olds picking up the wrong brush ,waving toothpaste around. Of course it would only take a few minutes says someone who has never been in a reception class !
Teeth are a job for home.

One of dd's friends would come round often, she was very fussy with food & wouldn't eat the carrots I'd served as they were the wrong shape. She proudly told me she eats vegetables once a week! Her mum told me she doesn't like water so won't drink it. We'll, she certainly did with me when there was nothing else available!

I'm assuming you don't like the presentor, Nagga. The story is more important but stick your fingers in your ears if you don't like a particular woman 🙄

That is interesting as this kid also gets ear infections regularly. I think it is probably hard to find the direct cause (clearly not enough research done on it as easier to make the parents the scapegoats). I do think more people should be made aware of it and it's potential consequences to cause dispute in figures like this where families are getting blamed - parenting can be hard enough, especially if your child keeps getting sick.

@CuteOrangeElephant Yes my child is affected by hypomineralisation. It's on the rise and they don't know for sure what causes it yet (although they think it starts during pregnancy). I know people see his teeth and judge me. He has excellent oral hygiene and we're regularly at the dentist with him but his teeth look like shit and we've been told there's not a lot we can do about it that we're not already doing.

Totally agree - so many lazy useless "parents"

Mine all cried and refused their teeth brushing at one stage, afraid I just pinned them down and did it anyway - was non negotiable in my house. People have endless excuses but there aren't any really.

It's an easy way to pretend you're a good parent. You can neglect them but then buy them sweets and drinks.

We did have some difficulty with teeth brushing for a while- toddler clamping mouth shut and crying about it, older child ok with the first stage toothpaste but trying to dodge the next stage with more fluoride because he thought it was too strong (we tried several brands). We got through both though and my kids teeth are fine, but it's certainly not as simple as just make the effort to teach them at home.
I think they benefit from the reinforcement of the message from another source. Whatever my daughters nursery did for their lesson on teeth it must have been inspiring as my daughter was role playing being a dentist yesterday 😂

Our nursery has rolled this out - whilst it’s great especially as tooth brushing is a battle at home and hopefully they’ll learn to enjoy it (tolerate it without screaming like banshees), it really shouldn’t be necessary. It takes 4 minutes a day to brush their teeth, it’s just part and parcel of parenting. You wouldn’t skip brushing your own teeth, so why skip brushing your kids.

I get it’s often a battle (like I say, mine hate it) but you just…do it 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

It's Naga.

I agree OP and don't think it should be one more thing for school staff to do. I'm also sick of the word 'poverty' being used as an excuse for not teaching children basic life skills. Poverty isn't an excuse for crap parenting (unpopular opinion I know). When I was at school, a dentist would visit and check everyone's teeth. It was stopped because it was thought to be ineffective. But seeing as the state of children's teeth seems to have taken a dip, perhaps time to bring this back.

I think it's partially genetic too. My whole side of the family seems to have gum problems. I floss (when I don't have braces), use interdental brushes, mouthwash and an electric tooth brush and have to do a whole daily routine just to stay on top of oral hygiene. Added to that I am now on my second round of braces because of what I call the familial cursed jaw line.

Meanwhile DH just brushes his teeth quickly twice a day and has never even had a cavity.