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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

11+4 and having cravings - husband says to go out on bike to get snacks

134 replies

Tetchy321 · 06/03/2025 15:21

Hi,

So we live in a village that is not really within walking distance to shops. There is a service station that I could cycle to but I don't cycle that often and don't feel confident being near the motorway. I was feeling nauseous and didn't have nay snacks or food in the house that I wanted to eat due to nausea and aversions. We both WFH and I don't drive.

So anyway, I told DH that I wanted a snack and before I could finish what I was saying and explain that it can wait till he finishes work, he said I should cycle to the motorway service station. I'm working so can't really take the time - but he said it would take 10 mins max.

Am I unreasonable for feeling a little put out by this?

Edit: Just to add, I wasn't expecting my DH to go during the day, I would have waited until he had time to drive

OP posts:

RonObvious · 07/03/2025 11:37

My husband would have been out getting me as many snacks as he could think of, before I had even finished the sentence (although I do get hangry, so…).

I think posters are being a bit harsh here - mainly because of the attitude towards non-drivers. I’m pretty fit and healthy, run often, but only cycle occasionally. When I was about your stage of pregnancy, we went on a bike ride and I felt really off-balance. I found it pretty stressful, even though we were off road the whole time. So no, I wouldn’t have considered cycling by a motorway.

ByDreamyMintNewt · 07/03/2025 11:44

Neither here nor there with regards to your husband, but I do think you will need to make sure you are more organised when the baby comes. It depends on how big the village you live in is etc, but I live rurally and would have felt extremely isolated if I hadn't been able to get around independently when I had my babies.

NasiDagang · 07/03/2025 11:59

FeministUnderTheCatriarchy · 06/03/2025 16:51

Here on Mumsnet you'll get mostly the response that you should cycle through 10 miles of snow before asking your DH to get you a pregnancy craving.
Something about pregnancy cravings really sets people off here...

I'm guessing a lot of women don't have partners who are kind and helpful and would want to take care of them whilst they are sick from carrying his baby.

OP, my husband would have said "as soon as I can I will go and get it for you, do you think you can wait that long?".

Only if I had said I couldn't wait, would he of suggested I cycle. (Even then, I don't think he would have suggested it tbh).

Sometimes I wonder about the responses on here as they just don't reflect the relationships I see around me.
Sure a lot of men are jerks, but pregnancy cravings are something men can do to help during pregnancy.

9 months of you sacrificing your body and your health to bring BOTH of your child into the world.

He is doing sweet F all in this situation other than having had sex in the beginning.

Getting them happily and with love is the bare minimum.

Precisely, it's sad to see that so many women are married to assholes. The least he can do is buy some snacks for his pregnant wife who is carrying his child. Bar is really low on Mumsnet, my ex husband would have done it in a heartbeat.

brunettemic · 08/03/2025 13:12

Codlingmoths · 07/03/2025 09:41

this is not new to most people but it clearly is to you. Adult pregnant women can be very unwell when pregnant. If I’d gone to the shops, the exertion would have meant I couldn’t eat anyway. Days I went to work, I had to have food or starve, because catching the lifts downstairs to buy food was too much exertion and meant I couldn’t eat anything. So yes I relied on my husband, him and the office smoothie delivery man. It wasn’t enough food to stop losing weight, but it kept my baby healthy until the misery eased. I was an adult pregnant woman. Adult women of all varieties are allowed to need help. If they are pregnant adult women with a partner it is only reasonable to expect that help to come from the partner. This is not a new or a complicated concept, except seemingly to you.

Show quote history

given I have 2 DC I’m aware of pregnancy thanks 😂 given that OP wants a snack I’m not sure how being seriously unwell is relevant but here we are.

Codlingmoths · 09/03/2025 03:33

brunettemic · 08/03/2025 13:12

given I have 2 DC I’m aware of pregnancy thanks 😂 given that OP wants a snack I’m not sure how being seriously unwell is relevant but here we are.

Show quote history

I really think I covered all that, but good on you thinking unwell pregnant women should get no support and just starve for weeks/months. Lovely. Because they are adults is your reasoning i guess.

Ownyourchoices · 09/03/2025 03:53

I just struggle with the decision to move to a place where you can't easily walk to places when you can't drive. Or leaving learning to drive when you are in a time battle with birth. Don't learn to drive if you want (not including not driving for medical reasons) but live in a city.

mathanxiety · 09/03/2025 04:37

Yes, he was being unreasonable.

You need to get a nice stock of snack items in your pantry.

He should have been more sympathetic. I hope he's generally looking after you, though it doesn't sound like it.

Happy International Women's Day.

mathanxiety · 09/03/2025 04:41

Rorous · 06/03/2025 16:10

I’m with you OP. With my first DC I had horrendous nausea and food aversions during the first trimester, if I could find something I wanted to eat it was a bloody miracle. If we didn’t have it in the house my DH used to pop to the shop for me after work (we both worked full-time). Not because I was incapable, just because it was kind. Pregnancy can be really tough sometimes!

Kindness goes a long, long way, and empathy too. The lack of these two can be very corrosive in a relationship.

Noth are in very short supply on this thread.

mathanxiety · 09/03/2025 04:42

Cucy · 06/03/2025 17:34

YABU

You are a grown adult and if you want a snack then you can go and get one.

If there’s no food in the house then you can ask DH to take you food shopping after work.
But it’s taking the piss to ask him to go to the shop just because you want a snack.

You being pregnant is completely irrelevant.

Wow.

Such a nasty post.

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