11+4 and having cravings - husband says to go out on bike to get snacks

[Tetchy321]

Hi,

So we live in a village that is not really within walking distance to shops. There is a service station that I could cycle to but I don't cycle that often and don't feel confident being near the motorway. I was feeling nauseous and didn't have nay snacks or food in the house that I wanted to eat due to nausea and aversions. We both WFH and I don't drive.

So anyway, I told DH that I wanted a snack and before I could finish what I was saying and explain that it can wait till he finishes work, he said I should cycle to the motorway service station. I'm working so can't really take the time - but he said it would take 10 mins max.

Am I unreasonable for feeling a little put out by this?

Edit: Just to add, I wasn't expecting my DH to go during the day, I would have waited until he had time to drive

Yes

Yes

Cycling is absolutely fine but presumably he's not suggesting you cycle on the motorway which is illegal !
If the roads are busy or difficult to cycle then I understand reluctance however

Is there nothing you can eat at all? Toast, fruit, anything?

Ps what does 11+4 mean??

11 weeks 4 days

I'd already had nothing but marmite sandwiches all day and felt that was all I could eat. The thought of anything else we had in, made my nausea worse but I was also really ravenous!

Oh sorry, 11 weeks and 4 days pregnant!

You're not being unreasonable but I don't think he is either.

Is this really a sustainable living situation though if you can't drive? Are you going to be housebound all day with the baby when he's working?

I cycled everywhere until I was about 35 weeks on all of my pregnancies, I didn't know there was a rule!

There is a long stretch of road up to the actual shop within the services that I would be sharing with traffic from the motorway albeit at 10mph. But I would need to cross over the entrance and exit for motorway traffic.. with lorries and all the thought if doing that makes me nervous

Are you going to learn to drive? What will you do with a baby?

Are there traffic lights?

No, I'd need to wait until I felt it was clear enough to go. Just makes me nervous with cars coming in at speed from the motorway. I think most drive at reasonable speed but you get some drivers that may rush in.

You aren’t more likely to have an accident than you usually would be. If you usually cycle, I’m not sure what 11 plus 4 has to do with it. I walked and cycled and rode horses throughout my pregnancies, no one suggested I shouldn’t.

So what did your DH say when you explained that you didn't expect him to go right away to fetch you junk food snacks, but were prepared to wait until he had time to drive?

Oops quoted wrong post

YABU.

I think you're getting a rough ride here so far OP - that sounds a shit cycle ride and I don't think it's at all unreasonable to ask your DH to drive to the shop after he's finished work

My DP would do this in a heartbeat for me without question or moaning and I'm certainly not pregnant!

In future though obviously buy more things in and think about driving lessons now before baby comes maybe

I mean this in the nicest possible way: you're going to need to change this mindset, and ideally the non-driving bit of your life given how remotely you live. This isn't tenable. YAB extremely U.

You’re both being silly. Plan your weekly food shop better to have a variety of things in. Get extra’s of your craving. Start driving lessons.

It's not the cycling itself that worries me, it's the anxiety about being near the motorway and not being a confident cyclist. I do have anxiety anyway.

Come on OP, I think you know you are being a bit prissy. If you fancy a snickers and a packet of hula hoops (or whatever your snack of choice is), go and get them.

?? Then don’t go, he wasn’t forcing or insisting. You can simply not go to the shop.

What are you going to do when the baby comes?