11+4 and having cravings - husband says to go out on bike to get snacks

[Tetchy321]

Hi,

So we live in a village that is not really within walking distance to shops. There is a service station that I could cycle to but I don't cycle that often and don't feel confident being near the motorway. I was feeling nauseous and didn't have nay snacks or food in the house that I wanted to eat due to nausea and aversions. We both WFH and I don't drive.

So anyway, I told DH that I wanted a snack and before I could finish what I was saying and explain that it can wait till he finishes work, he said I should cycle to the motorway service station. I'm working so can't really take the time - but he said it would take 10 mins max.

Am I unreasonable for feeling a little put out by this?

Edit: Just to add, I wasn't expecting my DH to go during the day, I would have waited until he had time to drive

I plan on learning how to drive asap! It won't be great to be dependant on lifts etc with a baby - I agree

How do you normally get anywhere?? Of course that cycle sounds rubbish. But you must leave the house without DH sometimes, how do you normally get about??

Cycling a little each day will do you good (assuming you did prior to pregnancy? Obviously not a good idea to take up new exercise without medical advice).

Congratulations.

I fancy a lot of things from the shops at inappropriate times (mostly at night when they're closed) but eventually I just eat something else or forget about it.

If you find it more difficult because you're pregnant, just double up on things when you do your weekly shop.

Food aversions are tough. It would be kind of your DH to go out after work. However I can sort of see his reluctance. How do you normally get around if you want to go somewhere alone?

Deliveroo? Or Tesco Whoosh? But surely you have something in the house you could eat? Make sure you get some things you fancy next time you shop, silly position to put yourself in.

Not sure what is unreasonable in all of this?
Your husband was working, so not unreasonable that he said you sort it yourself. Being pregnant isn't a reason not to cycle - unless there is drip feed that you have history of early m/c and need bed rest.

As another person has said, if getting a snack from the local shop is this difficult for you, what are your plans for when the baby is born and you need to get to nursery/playgroups etc.

Have a look on the delivery apps like Just Eat and Deliveroo or Uber Eats. Most of them have grocery stores on them now as well as corner shops and off licences. You might be able to get snacks delivered.

I second this OP. You do get some weird responses on mn sometimes. Reminds me of that thread where the OP’s partner had offered her and her friend a lift home and everyone was saying it was weird that he gives her a lift after a night out? Perfectly normal in my world.

You’re bloody pregnant! I’m sure the least he can do is drive and get you something you fancy. Especially given that you’re anxious. Ignore the stick up the arse brigade on here - YANBU.

You need to get a wiggle on then. Baby will be here in about 7 months and you need to pass your theory before you can take the actual driving test, you aren't leaving yourself much time.

I’m with you OP. With my first DC I had horrendous nausea and food aversions during the first trimester, if I could find something I wanted to eat it was a bloody miracle. If we didn’t have it in the house my DH used to pop to the shop for me after work (we both worked full-time). Not because I was incapable, just because it was kind. Pregnancy can be really tough sometimes!

Uber eats? Delivery?

I think a lot of people are being really unfair. I felt wretched at 11 weeks and didn't really feel better until about 20 weeks. I couldn't eat what I usually did and needed certain things to keep the nausea at bay. I felt like I had a severe hangover and wouldn't have felt comfortable cycling on a busy road. I did manage to swim and walk a lot though. You need need to address the transport issue going forward. Having to rely on lifts everywhere will be miserable with a baby. Is there a reason you're living somewhere so inconvenient.

Good luck and I hope you feel better soon. Pregnancy nausea is the absolute pits.

This is a massive non event. You are both working so neither can just down tools to 'go and get snacks'. Wait until 'home time' or eat what's on hand.

YANBU. Most partners would nip out to get you something. The fact he cut you off before you finished what you were saying was rude too. I can’t believe he’d want you to cycle on that route. Do you think he’s jealous and grumpy?

I can see both sides. If you've suddenly started with the nausea since you last went food shopping, then I think he should cut you some slack. If you've been asking him to pop to the shops every other day for weeks, then I can see why he wants you to go yourself.

This, can you move before baby arrives as I don't think it will be great not being able to go anywhere then

I will never get why non drivers choose to live rurally or not within walking distance of shops then expect the husband/ wife/ other person to do all the running around at their whim. I would hate to be expected to always nip out if my OH wanted something pregnant or not

Maybe you need to think if this location and house is best for you, DH and baby in the long term as newborns can be unpredictable you may need to be within walking distance to ship’s activities etc

Here on Mumsnet you'll get mostly the response that you should cycle through 10 miles of snow before asking your DH to get you a pregnancy craving.
Something about pregnancy cravings really sets people off here...

I'm guessing a lot of women don't have partners who are kind and helpful and would want to take care of them whilst they are sick from carrying his baby.

OP, my husband would have said "as soon as I can I will go and get it for you, do you think you can wait that long?".

Only if I had said I couldn't wait, would he of suggested I cycle. (Even then, I don't think he would have suggested it tbh).

Sometimes I wonder about the responses on here as they just don't reflect the relationships I see around me.
Sure a lot of men are jerks, but pregnancy cravings are something men can do to help during pregnancy.

9 months of you sacrificing your body and your health to bring BOTH of your child into the world.

He is doing sweet F all in this situation other than having had sex in the beginning.

Getting them happily and with love is the bare minimum.

My husband learned to drive when I got pregnant for the same reason.

You are being a bit unreasonable, OP, but I do also sympathise - I was sick every day until 16 weeks when I was pregnant and whilst I could manage it was a lot harder!

You are an adult. Get your own or do without.

Deliveroo,uber eats, Tesco whoosh? Do any deliver to you?

Yeah, sorry, YABU. I’m 34+5 so I get the pregnancy angle, but you’re still being unreasonable here.

I had cravivgs in pregnancy and I live in a rural area.
If I wanted something I didn’t have at home… I didn’t have it.

Fucking hell 😂. What warriors us women are 🙃