Wtf is wrong with people when it comes to hidden disabilities?

[Whatthebarnacles]

Full on rant incoming! Ready to be flamed in the depths on MN hell for this but it really is a hill I'm happy to die on so whatever will be, will be!

I'm absolutely sick to the back teeth of certain people on here who eye roll and sneer that those with hidden disabilities should be treated the same as neuro typical people.

Non verbal, lashing out? Report to police for assault - how dare they lay a hand on someone else 🙄

Can't sit still / constantly stims? Expel them from school - why should my "normal child" be affected?🙄

Stares and makes noises? Tell them you're uncomfortable and to stop immediately, we have the right not to be ogled.🙄

Can we please just stop it?! It's like the world's gone mad! All the years of effort to try and make people aware of hidden disabilities just seems to have crumbled an i've seen it happenn in here over the last 6 months or so more than ever. There seems to be an almighty wave of this incredibly farcical "BUT ME AND MINE" or "MY RIGHTS" just smash through the work that had been done and its depressing as shit.

Would you call the police or kick off on someone who spilled a cuppa over you then laughed? Or caught your face , if...

1. They were 4 years old? Nope, so why would you for someone with intellectual disabilities? You would talk to the carer. Rightly so.

1. If they had Parkinsons? Would you bollocks. Because you can SEE that disability and because its a physical one, then it can't be helped, right?

1. They were clearly ND?

There are countless people in here who would because, according to them, they do not have the right / there needs to be consequences / they're an adult regardless / i am woman hear me roar etc.

I cant get my head around the lack of understanding

And don't get me started on those who turn these things into "us women" need to defend ourselves. And faux outrage "would they have done it to a man? I don't think so!" Urgh. Yes... they would. A disability is a disability, a stim is a stim, a jolt is a jolt. Hair is dangly, splashing someone or spilling something is funny, stimming is calming on the inside whilst frantic in the outside.

Frankly, it turns my stomach. Why is the world so angry at people who are different at the moment?!

I can only presume that the number of people now having been diagnosed is pissing these people off. I've honestly never ever heard so much "just because they're xyz doesn't mean that..." in my life. See also "they need to learn" or "they should know"...

I fret for my son growing up in this. He doesn't stand a cat in hells chance.

YABU - Of course ND people, should be treated the same as NT people when it comes to differing behaviour, regardless of mental age or physical disabilities associated with their condition.

YANBU - MN is rife with it at the moment, I've noticed that too.

Annnnnd..... crucify me. GO!!

Definitely the victims shouldn't be removed.

MN is the worst for it. I don't see such hate anywhere else. I don't know if its because of the anonymity so people write what they think but wouldn't say elsewhere or if it is that MN attracts a certain type of person.

And the carers? Do you think they don’t get hit?

Again, if a child is violent in the classroom of a mainstream school to the point they are hurting other children, or the adults in the room, they should be removed immediately from mainstream school. It isn't the victims who need to be removed. They are where they should be, doing what they should be doing

This! I cannot believe this even needs to be stated.
I know everyone piles on and says “well there’s no funding, no where else for them to go, we need to change our attitudes etc etc”

Yes all good points but in the immediate future, way before the years it’ll take to get any of this in place, you remove the violent child! Not all of the others (many who will also be ND)

Yes I think some carers suffer terrible violence and injuries from their charges. I couldn't do their job.

I had a fractured jaw from a service user punching me in the face. I was trying to prevent her from returning to the home of a convicted paedophile, who had been raping her and taking all of her money.
She had complex mental health needs and a learning disability.
No matter what we did, we could not get anyone to prevent her from going there or protect her in any way. Not her social worker, not the police, noone.
I was 22 years old, had hardly any training, was on minimum wage, and I was pleading with her not to return there. She was riddled with STDs and wasn't taking her meds. I got a punch in the face and a day off work for my trouble.

It's a tough, tough job.

Yes but they are trained and it's a job they have chosen to do and many of them are brilliant at it . A member of the public hasn't signed up to that and maybe like me there are also ND themselves and might be triggered by someone lashing out at them. And if it's a child being lashed out at then it could kill them. Why do the needs of the victim come last?

It's a tough tough job. They don't get paid enough . The care agency who care for me (complex mental health needs, physical disablility and history of abuse like the service worker you mentioned) are short of staff and underpaid.

Carers should be paid loads. It makes me sad how little they 're paid.

Of course they do and I couldn't do their job for all the money in the world. However that doesn't mean that it's acceptable for members of the public to be assaulted

Maybe reread the post you quoted.

It also annoys me when someone is unemployed and they get told 'there's always care work'. Yes there is but do they really want their loved ones being looked after by a carer who doesn't want the job? Some people are good at it, some aren't and shouldn't be forced into it.

Sorry but if someone hits me they need to be prepared to take the consequences, that I (as an ND person with complex MH issues) may be triggered and hit back. It's nothing personal anymore than their behaviour is personal . It's a reflex action.

If a child is being hurt at school by someone with a hidden disability same applies. Child who is hurt needs to be allowed to self defend (within reasonable force) and be able to get to safety. One 's needs doesn't trump the other.

I was attacked at primary school (y5). It was an attack of a sexual nature and very humiliating. One of the attackers had high functioning dyspraxia, the other had dyslexia, and the other kid was just an arsehole. Being told that maybe those kids couldn't help it because of their home background wasn't helpful to me.

I was SA by a relative and suffered violence and mental abuse by a parent. My parents fought a lot (or should I say my dad screamed at and belittled and terrorised my mum and my mum tried to appease him). Yeah my home life was oh so great. I also have dyscalculia one of the things my father used to use as an excuse to punish and shame me for. Why weren't my needs prioritised ???

I have trauma issues from being bullied so badly (this was only one incident and a particularly bad one). I'm sorry that those kids had a bad home life and disabilities but I think I went through just as much.

https://theconversation.com/nearly-half-of-children-born-in-wales-in-2002-03-classed-as-having-special-educational-needs-this-may-have-negatively-affected-their-attainment-235375

Do you just want to sound off or do you actually understand the situation being discussed. The post being responded to was made by a desperate mother whose child IS being attacked daily. In her situation I WOULD remove my child. That’s what you CAN do in the first instance to protect your child from an on going violent situation.

@DaveyTheCavy It's absolutely awful, and imo tragic, that no one centred your needs as the victim of the attack. I'm really sorry.

Missing out the part where you've taken a strop over her, very reasonably, wanting the violent child removed. You're trying to make her out to be a negligent mother.

Thanks. This is one of the reasons why I decided in life to make sure I wouldn't let anyone get away with hurting me again.

Yes that’s correct.

I think it is negligent to leave your child anywhere they are repeatedly hurt. I have said what I would do in that situation.

So you think the mother is neglecting her child because of another kid in the class physically attacking her? Ok then

You're victim blaming and making nasty insinuations about another mother at the same time.

No Im saying what I would do in the same situation and what I think of parents who don’t protect their children.

So it’s the mother’s fault that the child is attacked at school?
Do you usually blame victims for bad things that happen to them? Or victim’s parents for their children being in a place where they are physically hurt?

If your kid is repeatedly hurt in school are you suggesting it would be neglectful if a parent sent them to school.
Isnt it the responsibility of the school and the attackers parents to remove the attacker
They are a danger to others!

As I said, victim blaming and nastiness.