Wtf is wrong with people when it comes to hidden disabilities?

[Whatthebarnacles]

Full on rant incoming! Ready to be flamed in the depths on MN hell for this but it really is a hill I'm happy to die on so whatever will be, will be!

I'm absolutely sick to the back teeth of certain people on here who eye roll and sneer that those with hidden disabilities should be treated the same as neuro typical people.

Non verbal, lashing out? Report to police for assault - how dare they lay a hand on someone else 🙄

Can't sit still / constantly stims? Expel them from school - why should my "normal child" be affected?🙄

Stares and makes noises? Tell them you're uncomfortable and to stop immediately, we have the right not to be ogled.🙄

Can we please just stop it?! It's like the world's gone mad! All the years of effort to try and make people aware of hidden disabilities just seems to have crumbled an i've seen it happenn in here over the last 6 months or so more than ever. There seems to be an almighty wave of this incredibly farcical "BUT ME AND MINE" or "MY RIGHTS" just smash through the work that had been done and its depressing as shit.

Would you call the police or kick off on someone who spilled a cuppa over you then laughed? Or caught your face , if...

1. They were 4 years old? Nope, so why would you for someone with intellectual disabilities? You would talk to the carer. Rightly so.

1. If they had Parkinsons? Would you bollocks. Because you can SEE that disability and because its a physical one, then it can't be helped, right?

1. They were clearly ND?

There are countless people in here who would because, according to them, they do not have the right / there needs to be consequences / they're an adult regardless / i am woman hear me roar etc.

I cant get my head around the lack of understanding

And don't get me started on those who turn these things into "us women" need to defend ourselves. And faux outrage "would they have done it to a man? I don't think so!" Urgh. Yes... they would. A disability is a disability, a stim is a stim, a jolt is a jolt. Hair is dangly, splashing someone or spilling something is funny, stimming is calming on the inside whilst frantic in the outside.

Frankly, it turns my stomach. Why is the world so angry at people who are different at the moment?!

I can only presume that the number of people now having been diagnosed is pissing these people off. I've honestly never ever heard so much "just because they're xyz doesn't mean that..." in my life. See also "they need to learn" or "they should know"...

I fret for my son growing up in this. He doesn't stand a cat in hells chance.

YABU - Of course ND people, should be treated the same as NT people when it comes to differing behaviour, regardless of mental age or physical disabilities associated with their condition.

YANBU - MN is rife with it at the moment, I've noticed that too.

Annnnnd..... crucify me. GO!!

Are all the parents whom this child hurts expected to do the same?

You stated your child was being damaged by being at this school. Why is she still there?

Same reason the other 29 children are still there. They get hurt too.

Why should the victim be the one taken out of school? @Downtoearthandsinksthesun has said her daughter was previously little girl so presumably was happy at the school.

My child is not being damaged by being at this school she is being damaged because a violent child is at this school.

All parents have a duty of care to their children. If you knowingly send your child to a setting that is on balance damaging them, surely by any measure you are failing that child. Presumably each parent weighs this up for themselves, and there’s no way of knowing who will be in dcs next class as this is mainstream school (that is it is for everyone).

She was, she was fine, so happy and bubbly, she is not now and she is not the only one. I have spoken to her about moving schools but the nearest is 20 miles away and she is afraid she won't have any friends. Why should I have to change her whole life because of one child?

You ask the school what they are doing to keep your DC safe. They should be keeping all DC safe. They should be putting strategies in place.

You are joking, right? Surely.

Yes, all parents have a duty of care to their children and sending them in where they get triggered and affect 29 other kids is not in anyone's best interests.

"The school's hands are tied because they are waiting for provisions to be made and in the meantime my child has changed from a happy little girl to an upset and anxious one."

If this child is targeting your daughter, I don't buy that there is nothing the school can do.

You sent your child to a mainstream school. She will be in a class with disabled people, people of different race, religion, and class, people who have been abused, damaged, and deprived, people who are in care and people who are wealthy and pampered, that’s what mainstream is. If exposure to this environment is beyond her capabilities then she shouldn’t be there.

I have attended about 12 meetings, so have the other parents whose children are being hurt. They keep saying their hands are tied and the parents of the child hurting others have admitted that they will continue sending their child in because it is their right and if he gets bad enough something will have to be done. This is honestly not an isolated case. It's happening in so many schools.

I agree with you, if this is about the post yesterday about the hair pulling, yes it was absolutely the carers fault.

It may be the best and least “triggering” environment for them. It may be the only way to access better provision or it may simply be the place they learn to do better in time.

If exposure to this environment is beyond her capabilities then she shouldn’t be there

You are mental. Beyond her capabilities of being hurt by a child twice her size because emmm well SEN?

WHAT about the other 29 kids? No child should go to school to be hurt. If it was in the workplace it would not be allowed so why is it in school?

Their hands are not tied. There are lots of things they can do to keep everyone safe. They should be able to communicate to you what they are doing to keep your child safe, they have a duty of care to all of the children.

It isn’t “allowed in schools” to be honest. The school is spinning you a line that nothing can be done. But ultimately you do need to focus on your own child and do what is right for them.

They are doing nothing. Still waiting to hear...yada yada.

They are fobbing you off. Speak to ofsted.

I wouldn’t be tolerant with your son if I walk passed him and he hits me. If you’re not able to react/control him on your own take your husband or a carer with you when you go out .

Please don’t use “mental” as an attack (I find “arse” useful to express that kind of feeling if it helps). That said if your child is suffering you really do have to focus on that not whatever you think should happen to some other child.

Where else was she supposed to send her child? The child that shouldn't be there is the one who is violent to the rest of the class, not the child who is on the receiving end of the violence. This obviously applies whether the violent child is ND or NT, the victim is not the one who should suffer any further.

Talk about victim blaming...