Wtf is wrong with people when it comes to hidden disabilities?

[Whatthebarnacles]

Full on rant incoming! Ready to be flamed in the depths on MN hell for this but it really is a hill I'm happy to die on so whatever will be, will be!

I'm absolutely sick to the back teeth of certain people on here who eye roll and sneer that those with hidden disabilities should be treated the same as neuro typical people.

Non verbal, lashing out? Report to police for assault - how dare they lay a hand on someone else 🙄

Can't sit still / constantly stims? Expel them from school - why should my "normal child" be affected?🙄

Stares and makes noises? Tell them you're uncomfortable and to stop immediately, we have the right not to be ogled.🙄

Can we please just stop it?! It's like the world's gone mad! All the years of effort to try and make people aware of hidden disabilities just seems to have crumbled an i've seen it happenn in here over the last 6 months or so more than ever. There seems to be an almighty wave of this incredibly farcical "BUT ME AND MINE" or "MY RIGHTS" just smash through the work that had been done and its depressing as shit.

Would you call the police or kick off on someone who spilled a cuppa over you then laughed? Or caught your face , if...

1. They were 4 years old? Nope, so why would you for someone with intellectual disabilities? You would talk to the carer. Rightly so.

1. If they had Parkinsons? Would you bollocks. Because you can SEE that disability and because its a physical one, then it can't be helped, right?

1. They were clearly ND?

There are countless people in here who would because, according to them, they do not have the right / there needs to be consequences / they're an adult regardless / i am woman hear me roar etc.

I cant get my head around the lack of understanding

And don't get me started on those who turn these things into "us women" need to defend ourselves. And faux outrage "would they have done it to a man? I don't think so!" Urgh. Yes... they would. A disability is a disability, a stim is a stim, a jolt is a jolt. Hair is dangly, splashing someone or spilling something is funny, stimming is calming on the inside whilst frantic in the outside.

Frankly, it turns my stomach. Why is the world so angry at people who are different at the moment?!

I can only presume that the number of people now having been diagnosed is pissing these people off. I've honestly never ever heard so much "just because they're xyz doesn't mean that..." in my life. See also "they need to learn" or "they should know"...

I fret for my son growing up in this. He doesn't stand a cat in hells chance.

YABU - Of course ND people, should be treated the same as NT people when it comes to differing behaviour, regardless of mental age or physical disabilities associated with their condition.

YANBU - MN is rife with it at the moment, I've noticed that too.

Annnnnd..... crucify me. GO!!

Put it this way then. Who benefits from a ND child being in a mainstream setting? The child themselves? No, they are thrown in with 29 other kids who most likely trigger them, in a setting that is not equipped for their needs, where they become dysregulated and upset EVERY DAY.

The NT child who's lessons are disrupted constantly, where they are attacked and hurt and scared, where they have to leave a classroom because another child is destroying it?

The teacher who has no choice but to include this child even though they cannot control them, they cannot teach, they have to try intervene numerous times a day to try minimise the risk of another child getting punched and then they need to usher 29 kids out of the classroom because it's too dangerous?

Does a NT child belong in a specialist setting? No.

Does a violent ND child belong in mainstream setting..also no.

Don’t be ridiculous many thousands of disabled children are educated in mainstream schools.

What about the kids they hurt? Are they doing well? Have you ever tried your best to get a child to school who is terrified because they were hit with a chair by another child?

I am specifically talking about ND children who are violent and hurt others.

Again, I am talking about violent children, children who hurt others due to their disability. If a child is sitting there stimming they are not hurting others and of course they should be included.

I think you are generalising about a very specific situation and in doing so creating an argument against all ND children (or perhaps all children with learning disabilities?) when in fact your focus is violent children in school whatever the root cause.

Well then talk about violent children instead of mislabelling then neurodiverse, autistic, or learning disabled.

I am indeed talking about violent children that are ND because there is NOTHING the school can do about it. There an MANY ND children who are violent and they should not be in mainstream school to hurt other kids. I have been in this situation twice and it is soul destroying to see your child come home with bruises and the school say...sorry they have SEN, nothing we can do. You speak to the parents and they say..sorry they have SEN, they deserve and education. Except nobody is getting an education are they?

There are many NT children who are violent. Your problem is with the violence not inclusion.

I don't believe all violent ND DC need to be in special schools. A DC that displays violence in EYFS/KS1 may be fine once support is in place, eg support with work and a 1 to 1 or understanding of their needs. They may be better suited to mainstream.

What does that even mean? A violent child who cannot be reprimanded or removed because they have SEN should not be in a mainstream school.

"I am indeed talking about violent children that are ND because there is NOTHING the school can do about it. "

The school can exclude just as they can for children who are not ND.

Is the support there though? No. Because children are getting hurt every day.

My neurodiverse child was complete fine in a mainstream setting. Certainly considerably more fine than quite a few of his nt classmates.

Out of interest how do you think nt and/or non disabled children who lash out should be dealt with? Given that you've already said that a specialist setting isn't appropriate for them.

Ask the majority of the people on here whose children have been hurt if this happens. It doesn't because there is not enough specialist settings and all kids have a right to be educated. It is completely different than excluding a child who is being being a violent thug and no diagnosis.

is the child who hurt my daughter still in her class? yes. Have numerous parents complained? Yes. Does he hurt other children multiple times a week because he cannot cope in that setting? Yes.

Has anything been done? No.

I don't really care how they are dealt with to be honest. I want my own child safe in school, not battered. I don't want my child to be suffering anxiety at 8 because another child has hurt them badly numerous times. I don't care.

I also don't care what special needs a child has, stimming, twirling, singing, whatever, I have specifically said if a child is violent towards other children and makes the classroom unteachable and has to be evacuated, they should not be there.

It takes time to get an EHCP. Once that is in place things tend to improve in decent schools.

Out of interest how do you think nt and/or non disabled children who lash out should be dealt with? Given that you've already said that a specialist setting isn't appropriate for them

You already know I was talking about a specialist setting not being suitable for a NT who doesn't batter others.

I think you'll find we all want our children to be safe at school, nt or otherwise.

And in the meantime? You knowingly send your child into school where you know they are hurting others? How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot? Which in fact does happen to ND kids who get bullied a lot. Could you cope with your child coming home bloodied?

Of course you do so why send a child that you know is violent and hurting others daily into school?

"Ask the majority of the people on here whose children have been hurt if this happens. It doesn't because there is not enough specialist settings and all kids have a right to be educated."

It definitely does happen. Children with SEND are more likely to be excluded from mainstream than children without SEND, both those without EHCPs and those with EHCPs.

It also doesn't happen, like in my case and many others on here. There are threads and threads about it. People just like me who are at their wits end trying to manage to keep our children safe. The child still comes in every day and does the same thing. The school's hands are tied because they are waiting for provisions to be made and in the meantime my child has changed from a happy little girl to an upset and anxious one.
In regard to the parents of this child, they KNOW what their child is doing and have the attitude if it gets bad enough, something will have to be done. So my child suffers.

I agree. And the post op is talking about is a girl who had her hair twisted and pulled very hard twice. Not acceptable. At all.

What you do is take your child out of school surely?

Soo I take my child out of the only school within miles, take her away from her friends because another child in her class hurts her? Are you for real.