Wtf is wrong with people when it comes to hidden disabilities?

[Whatthebarnacles]

Full on rant incoming! Ready to be flamed in the depths on MN hell for this but it really is a hill I'm happy to die on so whatever will be, will be!

I'm absolutely sick to the back teeth of certain people on here who eye roll and sneer that those with hidden disabilities should be treated the same as neuro typical people.

Non verbal, lashing out? Report to police for assault - how dare they lay a hand on someone else 🙄

Can't sit still / constantly stims? Expel them from school - why should my "normal child" be affected?🙄

Stares and makes noises? Tell them you're uncomfortable and to stop immediately, we have the right not to be ogled.🙄

Can we please just stop it?! It's like the world's gone mad! All the years of effort to try and make people aware of hidden disabilities just seems to have crumbled an i've seen it happenn in here over the last 6 months or so more than ever. There seems to be an almighty wave of this incredibly farcical "BUT ME AND MINE" or "MY RIGHTS" just smash through the work that had been done and its depressing as shit.

Would you call the police or kick off on someone who spilled a cuppa over you then laughed? Or caught your face , if...

1. They were 4 years old? Nope, so why would you for someone with intellectual disabilities? You would talk to the carer. Rightly so.

1. If they had Parkinsons? Would you bollocks. Because you can SEE that disability and because its a physical one, then it can't be helped, right?

1. They were clearly ND?

There are countless people in here who would because, according to them, they do not have the right / there needs to be consequences / they're an adult regardless / i am woman hear me roar etc.

I cant get my head around the lack of understanding

And don't get me started on those who turn these things into "us women" need to defend ourselves. And faux outrage "would they have done it to a man? I don't think so!" Urgh. Yes... they would. A disability is a disability, a stim is a stim, a jolt is a jolt. Hair is dangly, splashing someone or spilling something is funny, stimming is calming on the inside whilst frantic in the outside.

Frankly, it turns my stomach. Why is the world so angry at people who are different at the moment?!

I can only presume that the number of people now having been diagnosed is pissing these people off. I've honestly never ever heard so much "just because they're xyz doesn't mean that..." in my life. See also "they need to learn" or "they should know"...

I fret for my son growing up in this. He doesn't stand a cat in hells chance.

YABU - Of course ND people, should be treated the same as NT people when it comes to differing behaviour, regardless of mental age or physical disabilities associated with their condition.

YANBU - MN is rife with it at the moment, I've noticed that too.

Annnnnd..... crucify me. GO!!

I disagree. If you plan a child, you know there's a risk that the child will be disabled. That's why scans and testing exists. Perhaps some people don't plan to have a disabled child, but if they're having a child, then they should consider this could be the case.

I do not think that the issue of unsupported SEN children in classroom causing major disruption is anything to do with increased inclusion. It's far more to do with the total lack of resources schools have to properly support those children and safeguard all pupils.

I am ND and I agree with this.

I am grateful for reasonable adjustments that colleagues make for me at work, and that friends make for me when we socialise or go on holiday.

I would not expect those compromises or adjustments to extend to accommodate violent behaviour.

You must love your child very much, and I feel for you, but you must understand that he isn’t ever going to have friends who will tolerate being assaulted.

I don’t think aggressive behaviour should be tolerated because someone is ND… I think that’s where many people draw the line. Not easy x

Do you have DC?

I assume you're referring to the hair pulling incident?

The autistic man hurt a girl. She comes first. Not be kind, be nice.

Not all conditions are picked up prenatal, some disabilities occur during or after birth.

Fair. To me, though, it's about the quiet bit - "no-one who's not an asshole would say/do...etc".

In other words, "don't be the asshole".

I could be misinterpreting, that happens a lot ;)

Far more violent acts are committed by people who do not have an intellectual disability than by those who do. My son who is severely intellectually disabled can when distressed be challenging for care givers to support but he has no interest at all in the general public. He is scared of them.

Yes, and ensured that before we started trying, we were in a financial position to cope if one had been disabled.

Agreed, so if you have children you know it's a risk at any time.

So how many millions of pounds did you have saved incase you needed to give up your job and provide for a severely disabled child for the rest of your life? And once you've passed?

I agree with you to a degree. However I may too get flamed for this but i don't and will not approve or advocate to have the rights of those with tendencies/disabilities to lash out and be violent put above the safety of the public. What sort of world would we live in when violence is deemed acceptable if you had a reasonable excuse or disability to condone it? Especially now when many of those who show unacceptable behaviour is often brushed off with "oh i think they are autistic/, etc). The law to protect would be useless and society would be living in fear.

Years ago, We had a local guy mid 20's with "hidden disabilities" (i think he had aspergers) who r*ped and groomed a school girl. His family pushed all over the media that this guy didn't have the capacity to know that this was wrong and shouldn't face punishment in the same way a NT person should... firstly why shouldn't he be sentenced accordingly? The victim still has no choice but to live with the same scars regardless of who the perpetrator was or what their issues were. To me as an outsider looking in, i accept that he may not have had that capacity but shouldn't his parents/carers/family have made sure that additional knowledge and prevention/protection measures were put in place to reduce the likelihood of an event like this?

In the above instance, for the justice of the young girl, who is actually to blame then? The family/carers for not reducing the risk to the public however that may be? The guys for actually doing this crime, regardless of capacity or not? Or does the girl not deserve justice like other victims because this guy didn't know/understand what he was doing?

Give over!

You know perfectly well, or your working assumption is that it couldn’t be a disabled person because everyone knows disabled people should be kept out of sight at all times. This is a problem with you.

I'm disabled. 👍

Being sensible is not smug. It's what normal people do.

That means nothing disabilities range from. Very mild to profound and multiple.

Not having DC until you've saved up enough to totally support a severely disabled DC and yourself for life and expecting to give up on your life completely forever once DC arrive isn't 'being sensible'. Nor do I believe you prepared for either fully, because it costs millions.

I think I remember you from another thread you liked to laugh at people who had disabled children than too.

How is assaulting someone in public a "hidden disability"?

"Yes, and ensured that before we started trying, we were in a financial position to cope if one had been disabled."

Provision for other people to look after my teenager costs £100 a hour. Could you afford that?

That’s mad.
However in a civilised society we should be providing suitable settings for dc to give both them and you the hrlp and support needed.
The government really does need to fund sen services much better.

I think this means noone should have children unless they have a good million saved up in your opinion.

I am impressed you achieved that, but others of is believe in the welfare state where we sort of share the risk of significant issues across the whole of society rather than putting it on an individual.

When you choose to procreate, there is a chance that the child will be disabled/neurodiverse. Complaining about something you chose is the height of entitlement.

And when you are old and need medical care, police protection, food from the supermarket, utilities, complaining about the lack of doctors or the cost of food is the height of entitlement if you chose not to procreate.

That is hilarious! How many millions did you set aside?