Constantly disruptive child in my daughter's class

[waitingforsainos]

DD is Y6 and this other child seems to be causing so much trouble in class every day, shouting at the teacher, slamming doors, flicking light switches on and off, randomly screaming in the middle of a lesson when they don't want to do the work, mouthing off if other kids get to do something different because they've behaved well. DD says it's every lesson.

On the whatsapp group, the child's mum has said it's not their fault, they've got an ehcp for semh (think that's mental health?) and has laughed at the teacher when she's been asked to go inside to talk at the end of the day.

From the parent chat, it sounds like the child has had a few suspensions but doesn't seem to have made any difference.

AIBU to expect more from school? What would happen in your child's school if someone behaved like that?

My child doesn't appear severely impacted. I as mum think they are. Because mums just know.

I'd rather see my child in a specialist settings. It's not happening because they appear not severely impacted. So it's all blocked.

Instead we have daily detention for tourettes tics ( it's very obvious it's tourettes, it's diagnosed by 2 leaders in the field). The SENCO is on board. Daily, we have to say can you stop that detention today please. That's a vocal tic . I have to do this daily.

It's hellish for most us mum's living this. Really is.

It must be awful and I can't imagine it . Your child has a real disability that they didn't choose. I'm horrified that school is punishing your child . That's horrendous. I am guessing there aren't any educational sort of ombudsmen who could step in? (Forgive my ignorance I don't work in education, and I don't know much about how the process works)

It’s not our job to solve this problem. Politicians need to recognise that education is failing - which it indisputably is here in Scotland - and do something about it. Unfortunately the politicians refuse to admit violence and disruption is a bad thing (oh but we’re so INCLUSIVE!) so it goes on.

This is where it's unfair.

Because we can get money together, we have been able to produce evidence to school to say please back off and help support the need. I've consulted a lawyer and we have an excellent psychiatrist skilled in this arena of ND kids suffering ( and being ' difficult ') in mainstream. We have something to fight with. We even support removal from class if necessary! Can he just go sit somewhere else whilst it calms down we will ask often.

So we have managed to reduce it and they back off but we have a reprieve for a week then it all comes back as a daily job.

We are basically on the long agonising road to trying to get an EHCP. We have the advantage of being able to articulate and fight and afford access to professional support. I think of the thousands who can't and those mum's blamed for everything because they can't afford or have the capacity or strength to fight. That's why I come here and support those who couldn't access the resources to assess and diagnose their children.

It's probably sounding cliche to say it but you're a warrior. You really are amazing. Keep fighting. I feel humbled reading this.

Well I want to say thankyou for being so gracious and kind. Here's flowers for you bless you 💐🙏.

And I do get it I really do, I don't want my childs disruptive behaviour to impact on anyone so he isn't in the classroom at all.
And for nearly a year he has been in a room with a 1to1 mostly without any other child.

It shouldn't be like this, he should be in a place years ago that could of stopped a lot of his behaviours due to being in a place he is frightened of and overwhelmed.
Im sick of having to fight to get anything, no one listens until something bad happens.

And a very small minority there is parents that just don't care that do use excuses but the majority of parents are trying there best to navigate the system mostly with no help or support.

Firstly well done.

Secondly, I fully agree. I'm in a similar position to you. Managed to get my son's EHCP last year in only a few months from start to finish... largely because I am hughly articulate, confident, highly educated, was pushy, read up on the law and forced it through. Not everyone is in such a position of privilege and it's so unfair. I paid for numerous assessments, paid for and attendee IPSEA training on EHCPs and basically devoted myself to it. It still wasn't easy for me anyway and was a real fight. Others not in my position have it much harder and so many obstacles.

Best of luck to you on the EHCP journey. Not an easy one but it's changed my son's life.

Fully agree with you. It's hard enough raising a SEN child as it is, but having people blame me as though his issues are somehow my fault would just about finish me off.

This is the most inspiring thing I've read this week!

I am at a bit of a what's the point state. Knowing it's achievable in less than years of waiting. You have reinvigorated me, thankyou.

So unfair that it's like this and if you can't shout or pay, you suffer tenfold.

Aw that so nice! So glad I can give you a bit of hope. It took 6 months from application to final plan, but I did have to keep on at them the whole way through, make endless complaints, quote the law, find email addresses and phone numbers of more senior people and basically make myself the biggest nuisance imaginable. It completely took over my life for a while. It can be done though. Please don't give up - there is definitely a point and it will be worth it. I don't think pm's are working at the mo but when they do, feel free to drop me a message of I can help at all.

I work in a primary school and we have 3 year 6 pupils on reduced timetables ATM

And who do you think supervises thst? As the poster you quoted said it’s not 16 year olds who can work alone in the library. Parent will have had to quit work.

Its not always that simple? In my kids year three class there are kids almost as tall as me and then there's kids who are the same height as receptions, really thin kids, stocky kids, chubby kids etc.

"Hit the bully back" dosent work when the bully is quite literally twice your size

I'd personally rather make an attempt to defend myself (and lose) than just accept a beating.

Well that's you, most 7 year olds don't think that way. If it was a grown man beating a kid we'd all understand why the child would be too terrified to fight back. But a 7 year old in the 1st weight and height percentile being scared of another 7 year old in the 99th percentile?

3 times a week? That's far too must disruption. The child causing the disruptions isn't suited to that environment. If it was my own child being the cause of that disruption I would homeschool the child and spare them the anguish of going into School and being resented by everyone.

easier said then done, have you seen the new rules they have brought in on home schooling because of little Sara being home schooled. rightly so that all children should be checked at home but still it doesn't mean that the child in question would be getting any type of education at home. also many parents actually work so can't just quit there jobs and stay home all day. sadly the government is cutting costs and the schools are paid into one pot by the local authority so the higher funding may be there but its being split across all of the sen children which is why there are so many problems with funding. as a parent whose child struggles in school, not disruptive in class but should be in a specialist setting, the parents are probably fighting the local authority tooth and nail to get the child into another school but its hard when the school don't want to give up that pot of money and the local authority don't want to spend any more money.

Just looked up that Sara case, I remember that girl being in the news but hadn't realised she was homeschooled. The part about the School not wanting to lose the funding and the local authority not wanting to spend more makes sense. So the child ends up stuck there

yes unfortunately they pulled her out to hide the abuse which is why after she died they started to implement more rules for home education, rightly so because some of these children are never seen out of the home.

It's not easy for anyone. Needs are not being met, probably down to lack of funding, but that is not the school/child's fault.
Some schools will do suspension regularly as when it hits a certain level, full exclusion can happen , or the threat of it may bring in much needed extra support
Primary seem more accepting yo try and support yet the minute they hit secondary they are out! We used to 'bet' how long certain pupils would manage at the comp our y6s went to. For some it was as little as 2/3weeks.

That is a tragedy indeed. I looked up her father's mugshot when I read about what he did. It wouldn't surprise me if he had sexually abused her as well but it couldn't be proven/hadn't been reported. Vile man.

That's a bit salacious. His crimes were bad enough without having to imagine a sexual element.

We don't know how bad, that's my point. We only know what he's let us know. She suffered horrors we'll never know.