My beloved pet is becoming a problem

[99problems99]

Firstly I’m fully aware of the fact ‘a pet is for life’. So please be kind i am desperate for some
constructive advice.

4 years (almost 5), I purchased a pedigree British long hair cat. She is the most beautiful girl, she was welcomed into the home and we love her. She was from a reputable registered breeder and cost me £950. Money wasn’t the issue I just dreamed of her for so long.

From the start she was always very particular with food.. no problem.. I just chopped and changed when she lost interest. She’s had the best of the best since the day she arrived. She’s groomed every day, she has lots of toys, up to date with vaccinations and is solely indoor. She has treats and cuddles (when she allows). She’s always been a little anti social and doesn’t like ‘new people’ until she has investigated them fully. Some she decides she doesn’t like at all and can be quite snappy and scratchy.

When she arrived my now 9DS was 4. They were fine together.. I’ve since had another boy who is 18m. She is awful to him. I’ve taught gim
to be gentle, he’s noisy of course but she used to just leave the room. Now it’s like she’s antagonistic towards him. I watch his every move but she has snarled at him and has scratched lightly twice. I’m on edge all of the time.

I teapot of course love her, but the safety of my son is paramount, I can’t settle knowing she may just get so fed up of him and hurt him. I suppose as he gets older this might settle but I don’t know what to do.

any advice is welcomed and please be kind this is breaking my heart I wouldn’t even know where to start if I ever considered rehoming her. I have posted in some local groups I am in for her breed and people have been so horrible.. as if i am saying she’s disposable now I have another child.. it’s not the case but I have to be realistic.

YABU- thinking of rehoming
YANBU- completely understandable to re home.

thanks for reading.

If you don’t live on a busy road, I would let the cat become an outdoor / indoor cat with a cat flap so they can go in and out as they like. Cats are very territorial, and it sounds like perhaps your cat is seeing your child as an intruder in their territory. The cat may be happier being able to mark new territory outside. Whenever you see it being aggressive to your child, boot it outside.

I am an animal lover…I grew up with lots of animals. My family has lots of animals now. But as humans we have to keep perspective and your child obviously comes first. If you do need to rehome then advertise the cat yourself or try to find a friend of a friend. I’m sure you will easily find someone given she is beautiful and pure bred. Don’t sell her and don’t drop her off at a shelter. If you vet the person / home she is going to yourself then I honestly can’t see the problem…at the end of the day she is just a cat! As long as she is in a nice home being fed and fussed over she won’t care if it’s you doing all this or someone else. She doesn’t sound particularly bonded or loving to any of you so don’t feel guilty

When we adopted our dog (we were pregnant) we got a trainer who told us to make sure that the dog had a safe space away from the child that the child could not get into. As much as your child needs a safe space from the cat, the cat needs a safe space from your toddler. We're currently fostering a cat who is being borderline stalked by my toddler, so do as I say not as I do.

Does your cat have places up high and inaccessible for your children to access her? If she has that, any time she gets shitty with your son, pick her up and put her in one of those places. If she wants space, she needs to give herself space. And don’t encourage him to stroke her (even gently), she doesn’t like it so there’s no point. My LO had to spend ages just giving our Ragdoll treats and not being in her space. But she’s had to learn that she has to take herself away and he won’t follow her.

Best of luck

Most cats do not like very young children. They are too noisy and unpredictable. I am sorry you got a hard time in the breed group, but it will be because they have seen this scenario again and again. Couple get pregnant, and cat is not happy when baby becomes a toddler. So cat is rehomed.

You have had suggestions of what you can do to tackle this, but it sounds like you want to rehome. So rehome. You won't be the last parents of young children to do this.

I got my cat when my eldest was a baby. She scratched eldest on the face once, leaving a big scratch that my vet told me off about. She's lovely but a bit of a dickhead (cat not dc) I have since had another dc who has grown up with her. The cats 10 now. She has always randomly attacked me. A few times she has bitten or scratched dc but mainly aims her attacks at me for some reason. She never attacks dh annoyingly. Anyway, the other day she randomly pounced onto dc age 7s back and scratched her neck. Dc cried, more from the shock and I sympathised saying what a bad cat we have. Dc got over it and they continue to co exist just fine. My cat sleeps on dc bed and looks annoyed/gets lairy when they dare disturb her getting into bed, I just shoo her away. Honestly cats are just complete dickheads. This is how lots of them are. Even so it has never crossed my mind to re home mine. I rescued her as a kitten anyway (in my handbag), it's unlikely anyone would want her. It's not like she can savage dc.

Make sure your cat has hiding places such as covered boxes and high places to retreat like tops of wardrobes or a cat tree. Lots of stimulation on top of your toys, like bird watching posts and things to scratch and bite like scratching posts. I think cats should go outside but if that's not possible then you need to do your best to make sure they have an environment that stimulates their natural behaviours. This will prevent your cat being bored and looking for mischief like scratching dc.

I haven't read the whole thread so I apologize if this has been suggested but can't you use those rubber claw caps?

She doesn't sound like much of a charmer, but personally I think rehoming is an overreaction and there's certainly lots more you could try, much of which has already been suggested.

One thing I don't think anyone's mentioned is that if she's an indoor cat, her claws won't be wearing down at the rate they would outdoors, so you if you're worried about your LO getting a face or eye scratch you should probably trim them, especially on the front paws. I have indoor cats and do mine about every 2-3 months. Mine are very fairly chilled cats but they're slippery little things so I have a friend hold them wrapped in a towel and take out one paw at a time. Yours doesn't sound very chilled at all, so tbh I might ask the vet to do it when she's in for something else, or possibly the groomer might do it.

Echoing some of the good advice you've had here: create spaces where your cat can be seperate from your toddler; make them pleasant for her so they are somewhere she wants to spend time, rather than feeling she's being turfed out of her favourite spots. Invest in a Feliway diffuser, it's a plug in like an air freshener which releases (synthetic) calming pheremones. Make sure pleasant things happen when your toddler is around - catnip, treats, whatever your cat enjoys - so she associates DS with nice things, and vice versa, do not punish her if she growls or bats at him as you don't want her to associate him with bad things happening. Your cat could easily bite or properly scratch DC if she wanted to, but she hasn't, it's just a warning that she is feeling threatened. Learn to read those signals so you can tell when she is uncomfortable and step in before it has chance to escalate.

YANBU to want to protect your child but it doesn't sound like you need to resort to rehoming yet, there is plenty you can try first.

Yes, I absolutely would, over and over. Cool, I'm disgusting for loving my dogs, that literally save my life on a daily basis. Get a grip 😂

Nope, couldn't care less about random farm animals. I'm not a vegan. I don't eat food 👍

HTH

My cat hates my children. He has scratched both of them, provoked and unprovoked (he's not a placid cat in general). The older one has learnt to stay away from him, the younger one is still a toddler and hasn't, we obviously supervise. I don't believe in keeping cats indoors, let her outside.

I think it’s worth pointing out that there are many cats who get on just fine with their humans’ babies and toddlers. We had two cats when DS arrived and they managed to co-exist harmoniously. They never showed any aggression towards him.

Most sensible cats stay out of the way of toddlers.

You don’t eat food?

Okay then.

Anyway.

As you a clearly a person who believes in animal rights, might I encourage you to reflect on the living conditions of animals who are bred and killed in huge numbers on massive industrial farms, so that we can enjoy eating them?

If veganism isn’t for you, then consider buying high welfare, locally farmed meat, preferably wild game.

No I don't.

Why are you lecturing me about farm animals, when I've clearly stated I don't eat food. You realise meat is food, surely?

Yep.
Yet another thread about rehoming an established Pet because of the baby.

Yep. It's just so fucking predictable.

Follow @Wishitwasstraightforward advise as that’s exactly what I was going to advise

Well, I don’t want to de-rail the thread any further, but the reason I am ‘lecturing’ you is that I also care very much about animal welfare.

And I get very annoyed by people getting on their high horse (so to speak) about the ethics of pet ownership, saying that cats and dogs are members of the family equal to their children, while completely ignoring the ethics of the meat industry and animal suffering therein. I find it highly hypocritical to the point I have to call it out.

It’s almost always meat eaters who wang on like this about their pets, because only somebody who is wilfully disengaged from the realities of the meat industry would choose pet-rehoming as their battle to fight on animal welfare.

So here ends the lecture, I hope it gave you food for thought (if not for eating … good luck with that).

I don't use the meat industry, so it's completely irrelevant.

Class A hypocrite then… OP has to keep her cat, because you have a service pet and prioritise them above children. You adore animals, oh except the type that are eaten 🙄 makes zero sense.

Thanks for the understanding none judgemental response. NOT. I’m not being over dramatic, I’m asking for support which I’m sure is what this group is for. If you have nothing constructive to say then move along. My cat doesn’t leave the room.. she just seems
to get irritated by my DC being there but doesn’t budge.. Hense my post, maybe you could ask my cat yourself why she doesn’t leave the room?? I don’t speak cat? Do you! ?

I'm British. No such thing as a "service pet". Where did I say I adore all animals? How am I being hypocritical by not being a vegan? I'm not a meat eater either 😂

Thankyou. So helpful x

Tried everything. She’s highly strung xx