My beloved pet is becoming a problem

[99problems99]

Firstly I’m fully aware of the fact ‘a pet is for life’. So please be kind i am desperate for some
constructive advice.

4 years (almost 5), I purchased a pedigree British long hair cat. She is the most beautiful girl, she was welcomed into the home and we love her. She was from a reputable registered breeder and cost me £950. Money wasn’t the issue I just dreamed of her for so long.

From the start she was always very particular with food.. no problem.. I just chopped and changed when she lost interest. She’s had the best of the best since the day she arrived. She’s groomed every day, she has lots of toys, up to date with vaccinations and is solely indoor. She has treats and cuddles (when she allows). She’s always been a little anti social and doesn’t like ‘new people’ until she has investigated them fully. Some she decides she doesn’t like at all and can be quite snappy and scratchy.

When she arrived my now 9DS was 4. They were fine together.. I’ve since had another boy who is 18m. She is awful to him. I’ve taught gim
to be gentle, he’s noisy of course but she used to just leave the room. Now it’s like she’s antagonistic towards him. I watch his every move but she has snarled at him and has scratched lightly twice. I’m on edge all of the time.

I teapot of course love her, but the safety of my son is paramount, I can’t settle knowing she may just get so fed up of him and hurt him. I suppose as he gets older this might settle but I don’t know what to do.

any advice is welcomed and please be kind this is breaking my heart I wouldn’t even know where to start if I ever considered rehoming her. I have posted in some local groups I am in for her breed and people have been so horrible.. as if i am saying she’s disposable now I have another child.. it’s not the case but I have to be realistic.

YABU- thinking of rehoming
YANBU- completely understandable to re home.

thanks for reading.

Are you suggesting she rehome the child and keep the cat?

If I was in this situation, I would get the best treats and treat the cat when in situations near the child and not being grumpy or as others have said get the child to be the one who feeds the cat so the child is seen as a positive addition.

I honestly believe the situation will improve as the child ages. If the above didn’t work and some of the other suggestions made didn’t work. I would be consulting with an animal behaviourist your vet might be able to recommend one. There might be simple changes that can be made that would change the situation and it’s clear you love your cat.

As above.

plus A big cat tree where she can go and not be bothered. Maybe even turning towards the wall so she really has a safe space.

also try Feliway

Thank you. I understand and yes my little one is my priority of course.

Does your pet insurance policy cover behavioural therapy, op? I know that some do, though would think you pay more for that kind of cover. Contrary to popular belief, cats can be trained to an extent. Pheromone medication can sometimes help aggressive behaviour, too.

I also saw a pp mentioned that her being an indoor cat might be contributing to her frustration. I agree with that, because most cats can escape outside pretty easily, and feeling more in control, when their environment gets too busy or noisy for them.

If you've tried the above, then I don't think yabu to rehome her. I'm normally one to say that if you get a pet, you are responsible for keeping it as it's part of the family. But it sounds like it would be pretty miserable for the cat to constantly be removed from rooms occupied by your toddler, and your ds will be pretty fed up with getting scratched too. He may 'react' out of toddler impulse at a time when your attention is focused elsewhere (not saying you're negligent, but with two young dc it's entirely plausible that at times you could be distracted and not able to always 'police' the situation).

@99problems99 We have a very similar issue, we also have a house cat, bought the year before our first baby, who’s now 3, and now have another who’s one.

He is ok with the 1 year old, she’s much calmer and quieter than our eldest. But because he’s taken little swipes, and hides and runs at our eldest if she’s running about, our 3yr old is petrified of him! Won’t walk out of a room alone if she can’t see where he is.

We’ve asked the vet for help, and were told it’s normal hunting behaviour and to try spraying him with water so he associates behaving that way with a negative consequence. Have you tried anything like that?

otherwise he’s a lovely nature, very sociable and gentle, but the fact our DD is so scared in her own home has made us consider rehoming, although the thought of him in a shelter is awful too so that’s put us off-I don’t think he’d cope although he’d be snapped up right away! We think we’ve found a solution in that my husbands friend is looking for a cat, doesn’t plan on having children, and is going to trial him at his house for a few days. It breaks my heart, but like you, we know we have to prioritise our babies. Is there anyone you know that could maybe rehome where you could visit??

It’s a really difficult situation, I totally get it 💔

As a total cat person I urge you to consider rehoming her. My mother took my much loved cat when Puss randomly attacked my then 9 month old daughter.
Puss was fine with the older children and the baby, until she started to crawl. Puss used to sit beside baby when she was lying on the floor get changed and even bathed.
In middle of the night I was up with baby and changed her. Left her on floor in sitting room. Puss came with me into the kitchen. Baby showed me that she had learnt crawl by following me! She was crawling up the hall focusing on me , so happy that she could crawl when Puss went berserk! She howled and hissed and ran at baby jumping up with claws out straight for baby's head and face. I just managed to grab and save baby. Puss obviously saw 'crawling baby' as a different creature from kicking legs on floor baby! Puss would have done real damage. Rehomed very happily to live a long life with grandma! I still got to see her when we visited.

Well, @99problems99 , there's much sensible advice been given here around handling the problem and refocusing your cat's attention away from your toddler and seeing him as a good thing. I understand why some people are saying rehome her, but I'd hold off for a bit until you try a few possible solutions. You're obviously on top of your DC's safety, so I think you have time to work on your cat.

Are you aware of the cat whisperer Jackson Galaxy? Check out his youtube channel, he has helped many problem cats and their human families: https://www.youtube.com/@JacksonGalaxy/videos

Best of luck, I hope it works out for all of you.

She’s always been a little anti social and doesn’t like ‘new people’ until she has investigated them fully. Some she decides she doesn’t like at all and can be quite snappy and scratchy.

Don't blame you for seeing the best in her – we all do with our own pets. But that's not a pleasant cat.

Let her outside if u can. It’s not fair for an animal to have to share their territory with a small child and not be able to escape sometimes ! Is there an enclosed area outside you could make safe, especially in the summer, if you are worried about her escaping? I disagree with house cats anyway though. They should have a garden

My cat is a "Rehomed" one. The owner was going into a Care Home. However, we then found her Mum was bullying her so she's petrified of cats. And that she had scratched children. She has a terrible habit of tapping your face to get your attention but forgets she has claws. She's just stupid rather than it being malicious. Her Mum didn't teach her the necessary skills. She's petrified of all but four people. She will run and hide at the sound of the front door or if we have visitors. Luckily she adores our Vet.

Your cat was showing that she's scared of people when you got her. Maybe she was mistreated by the Breeder? She may also not have been able to learn things from her Mum either. Give her somewhere safe to hide and make sure she's still getting plenty of cuddles. We have cushions on windowsills etc. We also make a loud noise if she goes to scratch our face and she does it far less. Ignoring her afterwards has also made her realise we don't like the behaviour.

Now she's beginning to just sit and miaow at us instead! Although she's very good at batting a mobile phone out of your hands...

I don't think she needs to be Rehomed unless she really does need a quiet environment without children in and some cats need that. Could you invest in a Catio or Safe Outdoor Space so she can go outside and sit in the sunshine or sniff plants? This is my cat's favourite thing to do.

I’ve not read all the posts, but there are ways to make her feel safe..like those walkways and cat paths up and along walls so she can get out of the way.Some are quite elaborate but a few strategically placed shelves to let her climb up the wall and nest up high might go a way to letting her stay.

O wow, bless baby I’m glad you managed to save the baby from an attack. It does scare me, I’ve never seen her approach him voluntarily only ever if he comes to her.. but not worth the risk. Keeping them apart for now. Thank you for commenting xx

She is pleasant just a little misunderstood I feel. lol

I haven’t heard of him but will check that out! Thank you so much x

My toddler is 18 months and we rehomed a cat 4 months ago. The cat has never been around little people before and was petrified by our noisy clumsy toddler and would often hiss and swipe at her. I just taught the toddler not to go near that particular cat. My toddler now walks around the cat giving it a wide birth and the cat hasn’t hissed or swiped at her for 2 months. They are both very respectful of each other and keep out of each others ways. The cat will come round and accept the toddler when the toddler will be more predictable.

This sounds like the (beautiful, pedigree)cat my grandson got for his 5th birthday. From the beginning he adored her and she, in her aloof way him. She was an outdoors cat, fearless and quite feral almost. Very territorial too. She was always a bit of a madam, demanding of attention but only on her terms. When she was 5 they got a working Cocker, Wonderful sweet natured boy but Blossom of course wasn't happy, it took her a year to get used to him then she bossed him to bits, took over both his beds. Every so often she would swipe at him with her claws out, she in this time became aggressive with us too, scratching and biting if you so much as stroked her the wrong way. This lasted till she was about 15, our lovely vet said some cats are naturally aggressive at times. She had to be anaesthetised to have her long thick coat shaved twice a year, she was like a kitten afterwards and very affectionate for a while till the coat got so thick again, it was an odd scenario. She was extremely healthy, very fit & slender, never ill at all and lived till 21. We assumed having the dog triggered her aggression , maybe your dc2 has done the same and you can only keep them apart. Apologies for this very long post, 💚

"Not trainable and hiss, claw
and bite" Not great really when you think about it.....🙈

Our cat was a traveller, an adventurer; at first it was traumatic when she stayed away, sometimes a few days, tried keeping her home but this stressed her hugely. She was often seen near the train line that ran through a distant part of the city , on a few occasions hopped onto a train and got off at the next stop. She would return home unabashed at the worry she'd caused, eat lots and sleep for hours till the whole scenario was repeated over and over. Blossom was a cat who thought she was a tiger. 💚

Many cats are suspicious of strangers. Siamese cats (of which I have had many and currently have two) are very loving to the humans in their family, but wary of strangers. One of mine will go to some people who visit the house if they have been there a little while, my other one hides until strangers have gone. They are both very pleasant cats!

She’s beautiful. Those who describe her as unpleasent don’t understand cats.

She’s gorgeous

Oh she's beautiful 😍

Hiding from a stranger isn't being "snappy and scratchy' – which means scratching and biting. That is NOT a pleasant cat, so your cat hiding isn't relevant.

Why don’t you just move along, you seem
to be looking for an argument.