To NOT want people to inform me I’ve dropped something?

[chocolategift]

I know - they’re being helpful.

But … today in the supermarket; toddler DD being whingey and difficult at the checkout. I dropped my phone out of my pocket as I was struggling with child, groceries and everything else. It’s right in front of me. But three people immediately shout over to me YOU’VE DROPPED YOUR PHONE. Meaning I felt obliged to pick it up immediately when actually I could have done with just leaving it for thirty seconds

I know I’ll get roasted for not being duly appreciative to my fellow citizens and I appreciate they mean to be helpful but seriously … I couldn’t have missed that I dropped it!

But at least you've still got your phone.

Hey, OP, are you OK? I’m not being sarcastic but this is quite an extreme response. Is everything OK?

If you have a toddler, cash and dropped your phone then I'd probably pick it up for you, without talking.
Depends how far I am and what mood I'm in.
Oh, YABU as well.

Yes, I've found my person. I'm also inexplicably enraged by this even though I know at a rational level that they are just being decent and kind. It really bugs me.

I can't really explain this but it's always felt a bit judgmental and sanctimonious when people do this. I have dyspraxia and struggle with organisation/coordination so maybe I feel looked down on.

What particularly winds me up is when someone stops me when I'm obviously in a rush to hand me a ludicrously small amount of small change. Like a 2p piece is really going to be worth me being late to catch a train?

I know it's my problem but yes, totally.

Personally I'd just say, "thank you!" So they know you've acknowledged it, and you'll get it when you can. I think it's nice when people tell you. I work with deaf people and they can't hear when they drop something, they'd appreciate the heads up for sure.

Thanks for asking. I have had a tough day. I just need to be clear all I said to the phone thing was ‘oh thanks.’ I just don’t think a bit of mild internal annoyance is any need for all this ‘oh my god that’s the last time I ever try to help somebody.

I wish you the absolute best of luck with this post OP. I was MN villain yesterday, welcome to the club, it's nice to have you 😂

Aware I’m about to do precisely what you are unhappy about and offer more unsolicited help…. But are you ok?

I honestly would tell someone their phone is on the floor if I saw it, because if I was them; I would definitely forget to pick it up once I sorted out the toddler. I’ve lost things and it’s very shit. I also don’t see why 2 seconds of picking it up immediately is a chore.

The fact I don’t agree with you doesn’t make you a cunt though. So yeah, that seems extreme, unless I just don’t get your humour. Having a toddler is very hard so solidarity there.

AIBU is very intense!

You posted on AIBU anticipating a roasting and now complain? Chat is a better place.

I understand you, OP. I would also find it frustrating.

This made me smile

@Peaceandquietandacuppa honestly all I said to the people was thanks. And I do get they meant to be nice but I was wishing they’d just give me a moment to get myself sorted.

You’ve reminded me of another example where I tripped and fell like a massive twat a few years ago. I had actually hurt myself but everyone crowding round and asking if I was OK was both embarrassing and stressful so I felt pressured to trill ‘yes fine! Thank you!’ when actually I could have done with a minute to wince!

This is similar; it’s not me hating on people, just wanting a minute of I suppose quiet and anonymity. No matter how lovely the intentions just having a moment to respond to dropping my phone without shouted notifications would have been nice,

It wouldn’t have been obvious to the people who were trying to be helpful.

There’s roasting and roasting @echt . It’s one thing to find someone unreasonable but invented scenarios where I’m singularly responsible for the fall of society (and apparently the falls of old ladies on buses) is too much. Besides, the whole of MN is AIBU now.

This is why people keep to themselves and never get involved, myself included. I don't need the aggro.

Don’t take it to heart, OP. The contrarian trolls are out in force today for whatever reason. Always amusing to see them vehemently attack and froth about something that they would absolutely agree with in real life. One wonders if they have any self-awareness at all or if they just go about mindlessly disagreeing with everything.

I would have picked the phone up for you if I could see you were wrangling shopping and a toddler. That would probably have pissed you off even more though.

Yabu but it is also OK to be annoyed.

I think it would annoy you less if you didn't put an expectation on yourself to instantly pick it up. If you'd said 'oh yep thanks' and then left it til you were ready you might not have felt so annoyed?

I think when you're flustered and a bit embarrassed people noticing that can feel intrusive and difficult. The reason you're getting all the YABUs is because of course you knew you knew, but they didn't know you knew. Hope your day gets better and don't take it to heart, everyone gets their arse handed to them at some point on here, MN is brutal!

@chocolategift I know exactly what you are feeling. 💐
I absolutely hated taking my 1st dc anywhere with me for errands for the longest times. If it wasn't random items in the shopping cart it was little hands reaching out to grab things as we walked by with things falling to the floor most times.
Lack of sleep is just one crucial factor that impedes coping. In hindsight I believe I had ppd. (after both dc were born)

In case I missed it (I'm juggling a toddler and baby atm) how old is your dc? Do you have help? Are you looking after yourself? Do you often feel overwhelmed/anxious/ready to snap? All are signs of depression/ppd. Maybe worthwhile to talk to GP/find a parent support group (I just did this one) and breathe.

People are generally just trying to help. It feels judgy/intrusive/patronizing when we're not coping well.

You are doing your best. 🩷

It gets better. 💐

We both know you're being unreasonable, but I get it: my 3 year old has taken a ton out of me today. Have a chilled evening, and tomorrow is another day ,op.

Let's hope you never drop and consequently, lose, anything that's precious because clearly, we who help, are just annoying.

What is it with men and refusing to use a carrier bag 😂. Dp does that he won't take one in with him even though we have some in the car, comes out struggling to hold an armful of stuff! Bizarre!

I was in the car with my friend once and it was dark enough to need lights on, the car next to us didn't have them on so we tried to get his attention, he steadfastly ignored us and stared straight ahead even though his wife was telling him that clearly we were trying to tell him something 🤣

Don't make stuff up.

Oh dear. Are you ok? Look it sounds like you're just having a really shitty day. Honestly it really really doesn't matter what randoms on the Internet say whether they agree with you or not.
Fwiw i totally get what you mean, you're well aware you've dropped your phone, and people are just being nice, but sometimes no matter how nice people are you are "peopled out" and don't want to see or speak to anyone. I genuinely often choose self service tills for this reason sometimes. I have chatty days and days where I don't want to speak to anyone cause I've had 2 hours sleep spread across 4 days!
I think you need chocolate. And sleep.