Asking too much to get a private school place?

[Twentythirdtry]

If there’s a child in a private prep whose parents receive no financial help for this, are they unreasonable to believe they have any chance of securing a bursary for senior school?

• the child is awaiting diagnosis for ASD
• quite exceptionally talented in art and current head believes there’s a chance to secure art scholarship.
• just above average CAT scores (tad below in verbal reasoning) so likely to pass entrance tests

parents are facing mounting debt (including utility bills) funding his current school place, and often go without basic and necessities for themselves. The parents rent, don’t own a car, don’t have any savings capital or investments, have no family to ask. One parent is a full time carer for a severely disabled relative and the other parent earns 45k pre tax with sometimes 100 hours overtime each month.

senior school place would be entirety of fathers post tax income per annum

difference in the child’s academic and social development since moving to prep has been noted by teachers as commendable.

Child did not cope well in State primary due to bullying and local secondaries have a growing problem with knife crime.

given some parents own homes/mortgages, equity, savings, car(s), not in debt etc, and moderate incomes, and are granted bursaries…

would the child be likely to be granted a bursary? If so, would this be likely a large or small bursary/any idea of percent?

Seems like utter madness to keep him there! Children need stability too - not parents in increasing amounts of debt. Try a different state school? Move if you have to?

you’re obviously trying to do your best for him but are you blinded by panic about this?

No one can answer this generically. You would have to look at the schools themselves that are within reasonable travel time and their policies and talk to them. Some have scholarships based on abilities - academic, music, art, whatever - that may be full or partial. Some have bursaries for less well off kids, but those are generally competitive so you often need to be strong academically.

45K will be a low enough salary to get a bursary at at least some schools.
The question really is how much of a bursary will you get (it sounds like you want one that is a high percentage of fees). It's clearly not sustainable for you to keep increasing your debt just to pay private school fees. You really need to talk to the individual schools you are interested in.

I'd suggest you would be better (or at the same time) trying to identify a state school that you might be happy with. If you rent, can you move? It's still pretty unusual for UK secondary schools to have problems with knife crime so it sounds like your child might do better in another area.

It's mad to keep him there, you're basing it on the false premise that the school is to thank for him improving, but it was the act of taking him away from the bullies that really did it. It was you, not the school that helped him, you don't need to sacrifice your entire life and stability to the school.

Moving house would be harder upfront but less stressful overall, the cumulative stress of mounting debts, nothing left at the end of it, is not a sensible decision. It might even make DS feel guilty when he's old enough to realise. Instead, find an area with a state school that would suit him and move. Even consider a complete change (knife crime schools are not separate from the area they are in) and look further afield regarding jobs etc.

Make a big sensible, proactive decision, instead of reactive ones which don't work long term.

If you can’t afford it you can’t afford it
Why should your son have his place funded over many other kids that would also want the opportunity

They need to relook at state system and support available for SEN.

At the private schools near me, he might get a bursary but it would only be for 10% of fees which sounds like it's not enough.

Bursary is possible and even 100% bursary is possible for some schools but for those you usually have to be the top of the top academically and/or have some other talent in sport, music etc.

no harm in asking about this with your local privates also looking at their charity report and accounts (if the school is a charity) should give some insight as to the mood music in respect of bursaries / scholarships and the type of children they award them to.

The school in question sounds pretty expensive(£10k a term?) and there may be cheaper private alternatives with more charitable funding or state boarding options, although perhaps they cannot move due to caring for relative.

Many schools are diverting bursary funds to existing pupils and with VAT parents are dropping out of bursary fund patents. Many schools don’t have rich old boys and access to significant invested funds for bursaries. Many are from fee income.

I also think most bursaries go to the brightest pupils at entry test. The schools want bang for their buck. They don’t have to support average dc.

Id stop bankrupting yourselves and accept you need a state school. Art might get a token amount off but many schools prefer academics over art for bursary money. So id start being realistic.

I think in the situation you describe it’s unlikely you’d get a bursary, and if you did it would likely be 10% maximum.

Schools want the best of the best really for the bursaries, not a child that would just pass the entrance test and is slightly above average.

Agree with others its time to move on and find something sustainable.

difference in the child’s academic and social development since moving to prep has been noted by teachers as commendable.

Yes, I would imagine most kids would thrive in a smaller class with more funding.

You might get a 10% bursary, but if your DH's entire income is the cost of a place, like the majority of the population, realistically you just can't afford a private education.

Go and look at some state schools.

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I think you are being unrealistic really .I thought most Schools gave a bursary due to talents /sporting prowess academic ability ? If it was simply on income most people would want that! something like 7% of children attend Private schools .which leaves a whopping 93% that dont. By all means try it and see .If not maybe home education ,with a private tutor? Or look out of area

I think you need to decide what you’re actually looking at and what the options are.

as others have said bursary’s are generally for much lower earners than £45k

scholarships are often 10% off fees, not a value that makes it affordable to someone who couldn’t afford it.

but there are always exceptions and you’ll have to target schools and see what they offer.

but i think myself quite knowledgeable in this area and haven’t seen a private School offering what you want. That said, often these offers are inaccessible to the general public and won’t be advertised openly.

parents are facing mounting debt (including utility bills) funding his current school place, and often go without basic and necessities for themselves.

What basics and necessities are you going without?

No, I don’t think it’s at all realistic. Also, what @LadyQuackBeth said.

Honestly, you want my brutal advice. If you want to prioritise your child and keep them at private school at all costs, the mother needs to ditch caring for the severely disabled relative (assuming it's not a sibling of the child) and get them proper residential care funded by the council. Thus freeing her up to do paid work.

Typically, an art scholarship would be between 10%-20% of fees, you might get a further 20%-30% bursary, but from what I've seen, scholarship and bursary funds have been significantly reduced to divert to existing pupils struggling with the VAT. Those going to new students, are for really exceptional children both with a specific talent, but also academically bright and likely to secure top GCSE's across all their subjects. Be very careful in terms of the schools you approach (and you should speak to some directly to see what they might offer), but there are many private schools out there who are really not great with SEN provision. Whatever they might say in their prospectuses.

Good advice.

This.

Get into a decent State school, then use some funds for art clubs, tuition etc
No-one should be bankrupting themselves to send a child to private school.
Knife crime as a reason for avoiding state - think that's a bit of a daft reason.
A lot of children are bullied, including in private schools. Kids bully other kids.
In London, one of the best places to be doing art is Holland Park comprehensive.

local secondaries have a growing problem with knife crime.

There are problems with knife crime in society, are you going to avoid that as well?

I would go and visit some state schools or look into getting full time work and finding alternative carers for your relative if you are dead set on continuing with private.

The problem is most places are massively reducing their bursary funding due to vat, business rates etc. So even if you might have got a bursary a year ago you wouldn’t now.

Bursaries and scholarships are a bit of a mixed bag. My eldest was offered a 'full' scholarship to a top Public school as he is very talented at a particular sport. It equated to about 25% off the fees which still made it over £1k a month. Plus uniform, kit, trips etc. Luckily he didn't want to go anyway so that was that.

Scholarships are often a discount, not full funding. If you can't afford it, unfortunately that's life.

Surely you just need to talk to the schools you're thinking of applying for? They won't be able to promise a bursary or scholarship but they can at least let you know whether they even offer bursaries, what the criteria might be for a scholarship and what percentage discount on fees this would be. I don't think anyone here will be able to put your mind at rest.