Asking too much to get a private school place?

[Twentythirdtry]

If there’s a child in a private prep whose parents receive no financial help for this, are they unreasonable to believe they have any chance of securing a bursary for senior school?

• the child is awaiting diagnosis for ASD
• quite exceptionally talented in art and current head believes there’s a chance to secure art scholarship.
• just above average CAT scores (tad below in verbal reasoning) so likely to pass entrance tests

parents are facing mounting debt (including utility bills) funding his current school place, and often go without basic and necessities for themselves. The parents rent, don’t own a car, don’t have any savings capital or investments, have no family to ask. One parent is a full time carer for a severely disabled relative and the other parent earns 45k pre tax with sometimes 100 hours overtime each month.

senior school place would be entirety of fathers post tax income per annum

difference in the child’s academic and social development since moving to prep has been noted by teachers as commendable.

Child did not cope well in State primary due to bullying and local secondaries have a growing problem with knife crime.

given some parents own homes/mortgages, equity, savings, car(s), not in debt etc, and moderate incomes, and are granted bursaries…

would the child be likely to be granted a bursary? If so, would this be likely a large or small bursary/any idea of percent?

my child has a better education than yours

This wasn't aimed at me, but it's a very barbed response to a pp.

What makes you think think/know/say this?!

my child has parents who prioritises his education so I don’t think it’s him that’ll need the luck.

Because the poster admitted, despite being able to afford private, they put their academically able kid in state school whilst my sons dad and I are slaving away to pay for a better education, and she doesn’t think my kid deserves any help, especially because ‘he’s only good at drawing’.

Jesus h Christ where did I say I could afford private but chose selective state . How many times can I go over this ??? I hope you’re better at reading and comprehending schools admissions policies because you’re not very good at comprehending what people are saying on this thread.

With those cat scores I’d say he does 😉

120 in all areas except verbal reasoning where hes average? What’s your daughters if you didn’t think it was even worth spending money on her education?

I'm not sure your argument holds. What is stopping you looking at alternative state schools including grammars? In some areas 120 scores might get in. You are choosing to pursue this dream at your personal expense and are just as entitled to a state place as anyone else. Or have you now missed that particular boat by transferring into private sector?

Not grammar in area or we would absolutely go for this option. He could go back into the state system but his experience before was dreadful. With ASD he can’t really learn social skills to minimise the chances of being targeted and we tried self defence which didn’t go well to say the least. He’s incredibly sensitive and kind, and going to schools with kids who are known to carry knifes and threaten others with them really terrifies me, the safest this would be home school really.

You are grouping all state schools together as if they are dens of iniquity or prisons. Vast majority aren't, even for children with additional needs and even in London(if that is where you live). You still haven't said if your ds is y4 or y6, as that may affect your options going forward. Your ds is just as likely to struggle socially in private, especially at a significant financial disadvantage as at state, and would be better equipped if he had support for his needs.

I’m certainly grouping local state secondaries that way, yes. Even his primary school was physically rough and that’s putting it lightly, the children didn’t even carry knives there.

And to add.. I don’t think he would be just as likely to struggle at private as he would state. His experience so far is that private has been able to and more than willing to provide all the resources and support he needs and more whereas the state school provided nothing. The children are kinder and don’t throw tables at teachers or scream profanities at each other

I think you might be in for a rude awakening in senior. Preps tend to be more nurturing, and you may well find that your ds social differences become more apparent and less readily tolerated in the teen years even in private schools.

I’m quite aware there will be challenges and difficulties will increase during the teen years, but state is likely to be worse.

You've clearly made your mind up. Bear in mind that not all schools offer art scholarships, those that do have good facilities but attract a number of talented candidates competing for funding. At 13+ it will not be easy. Agree with pp who stated they may be required to take art at gcse/A level plus be expected to work on projects such as sets and costumes for school performances in their spare time. There are state schools with strong art departments too and specialist colleges at 16+.

To be fair we are from an specific part of London and there was not a single secondary school I would have sent DD to

she was either going the private schools or home education ( Sen needs ) which is why we want the ehcp route

this mum doesn’t want to do that or hasn’t for whatever reason.

when I walked in to the school ( Independent) I knew it was the best school for her and was saddened at how far apart it was from the state schools we visited and that every child deserves the not education as such but compassion and support.

my mind is not entirely made up, I’ve often questioned why we are putting ourselves through such hardship/stress and wondered if perhaps we should have just tried a different state school first. Everyone knows though that the problems in the educational system are endemic - the roots of the issues are rooted way up steam and affect most schools.

When he began the current prep his CAT scores were around 100, within 7 months they sky rocketed to 113, so I know the private education has certainly done him good compared to the dreadful experience he had in the state system.

besides, it’s very likely my mind will be made up for me. i know what will most likely happen is he will have to go to state school, but if there are any serious problems I won’t hesitate in deregistering and home schooling him. He absolutely excelled when home schooled during lockdown and he couldn’t engage when he went back to school, as he was so far ahead the class.

all the schools that we think would be a good fit for him do indeed offer art scholarships and one offers a DT scholarship. One of them is renowned for their SEN support. I have no idea to what extent they will value talents in these areas, especially with the potential ASD, but the first thing the current head said to him upon him showing her his portfolio was how they’d support him to get an art scholarship during y5 and 6…

I quite agree. My son isn’t the only child that deserves a better education and was (or is) woefully let down by the state system, hence the proportion of school refusers with ASD.

state school is not for children with SEN needs - and as one poster said, sending their ASD children to state is tantamount to child abuse. Because far too often, it really is. These children often have so, so much to offer, if only they were accommodated properly and understood better instead of written off as not good enough or not worthy of the funding required. Hence why children who have been accommodated properly have so often become exceptionally successful in creating and discovering things that have quite literally benefitted humanity, often as a direct consequence of their neurodivergence and being nurtured, instead of bullied for it.

The fact so many SEN children have been so badly let down and overlooked will be looked back on in the history books as a devastating failure of the system.

Imagine the pressure on a child knowing their parents are in mounting debt because of their education. He won’t know now, but he will clock on in his teens. This is madness. Nursery’s are rarely for s significant portion of the bill, certainly under 59%

I have no experience of it, but if the other state schools are unsuitable have you considered online?

Yes this is something we do worry about. But it is just… just about manageable. Certainly not sustainable long term. So I know even if he were lucky enough to get 50% at a senior school it still wouldn’t be enough and I absolutely see that I’m probably kidding myself. It won’t stop me from trying though just to see what does happen, if nothing else 😕

I have considered online yeah, if we do resort to homeschool I’d definitely use any and all online resources available. I wouldn’t sign up to an online ‘private’ school as frankly I think I’d do a better job at designing and implementing a curriculum 😄I wouldn’t mind home schooling at all and would quite enjoy it actually. It’s the social element he’d lack which wouldn’t be good for his development as he needs all the help he can get there really.

I’ve just realised what your username is! It did make me giggle considering the topic

And if that sacrifice still is not enough to make child's educational experience positive and achieve their potential what effect might that have on the whole family.

In many ways, it’s irrelevant what any both says in here. You need to speak to the schools in question, and ask about their particular bursaries and/or scholarships rules, regulations and availabilities.

For the record, not all private schools provide excellent education, whilst many state schools do.

Perhaps she doesn't want to send her daughter to private school?
I wouldn't send my son to private school.