Asking too much to get a private school place?

[Twentythirdtry]

If there’s a child in a private prep whose parents receive no financial help for this, are they unreasonable to believe they have any chance of securing a bursary for senior school?

• the child is awaiting diagnosis for ASD
• quite exceptionally talented in art and current head believes there’s a chance to secure art scholarship.
• just above average CAT scores (tad below in verbal reasoning) so likely to pass entrance tests

parents are facing mounting debt (including utility bills) funding his current school place, and often go without basic and necessities for themselves. The parents rent, don’t own a car, don’t have any savings capital or investments, have no family to ask. One parent is a full time carer for a severely disabled relative and the other parent earns 45k pre tax with sometimes 100 hours overtime each month.

senior school place would be entirety of fathers post tax income per annum

difference in the child’s academic and social development since moving to prep has been noted by teachers as commendable.

Child did not cope well in State primary due to bullying and local secondaries have a growing problem with knife crime.

given some parents own homes/mortgages, equity, savings, car(s), not in debt etc, and moderate incomes, and are granted bursaries…

would the child be likely to be granted a bursary? If so, would this be likely a large or small bursary/any idea of percent?

Why doing overtime that isn’t paid for?

Eh? What makes you think the overtime isn’t paid?

Yes I have had letters too, about parents at the prep needing support with the VAT increase, so I know that my DS’s dad is already subsidising other children there who are probably more well off than we are. It’s quite a strange set of circumstances isn’t it. And despite this, all but one of the year 6 leavers last year went onto private senior schools whereby the fees are 100% higher on average, so I can only imagine they managed to secure some high level bursaries.

This.

Some schools are using 10% of their fee income for bursaries, I can't see this being sustainable.

DS's school has made it plain that their priority is to support existing families.

And despite this, all but one of the year 6 leavers last year went onto private senior schools whereby the fees are 100% higher on average, so I can only imagine they managed to secure some high level bursaries.

Or they earn significantly more.

Well yes but you missed out the first part of what you’ve quoted here - that there are a fair few parents who need support towards what they’re paying now at a prep, which is half the cost of the schools their DCs are going onto for senior school….

I assess bursary applications for a prep school in London.

1. The first criterion for us is passing the entrance exams for Y3/4 entry - for senior there is little point applying unless your child is significantly above average academically or you are applying to a non-selective senior school (most likely all-through so no Common Entrance).
2. Talent in arts areas is a ‘nice to have’ - it would attract a small scholarship - scholarships are now about prestige rather than monetary value.
3. Based on salary and circumstances yes you would be eligible but there are nuances - apart from academic excellence many schools would expect both parents to be working.
4. Private education is a luxury. With budgets being squeezed with VAT bursaries are being more stringently assessed.
5. At your current level of income I’m surprised you haven’t applied for assistance already - is there a reason for that?

The prep I work for would be considered ‘aspirational’ and we have very healthy reserves. We are generous with our bursaries but first question is always about their academic potential. All of our bursary children over the last 5 years have secured bursaries to the top boarding or London day schools. They have all been top 5 of their year group.

This isn't always true. I'm supporting a friend who has had confirmation from her caseworker and panel that if the private school she has named on her child's EHCP offers the daughter a place, then the Local Authority will find it.

@PuffinLord

I can name three mainstream schools that my LA fund in EHCPs.

I have every sympathy with you because we moved my ASD child to private mainstream and the difference was phenomenal. The hideous bullying disappeared overnight and the self harm and school refusal did too. I would sooner downsize our house than move them. We are lucky that we can afford the fees, but really begrudge the VAT when we had no choice in the matter. To have left them in mainstream school when we had the option of private would have been child abuse.

Advise, get an ECHP. This increases the options. Quiz potential state schools heavily about their behaviour policies. I wouldn’t go for specialist SEN schools as they often offer zero in terms of academics. Have you considered - whisper it - a Steiner school. Ours is 1/3rd of the fees of other private schools and could do good things with arty kids. I would also use local politicians if you get stuck with your child being bullied again. No child deserves to be bullied, SEN or otherwise.

That should say three mainstream INDEPENDENT schools

Thank you for such a comprehensive answer firstly.

do you really begrudge children bursaries if one of their parents is a full time carer for someone who has significant disabilities? I’d understand if they were rejected on the basis one parent was a stay at home mum or chose to study instead of work, or only worked part time - but I’m really surprised that caring responsibilities/disabilities would automatically disqualify them.

our first thought was to look at non selective, but from what their websites say, they don’t often give out bursaries and when they do they aren’t particularly high. I will likely still apply to see what they say though especially as a non selective would be the best fit for him.

we haven’t asked for bursary support at the prep because it would have been quite disingenuous to have moved him there fully willing to pay (and sacrifice in order to pay) whilst fully knowing the hardship from the get go, just to (shortly after moving him) ask for bursary support. The prep itself is non selective and ticked every box and more, we really couldn’t have found a better school for him. The highest priority was to just get him a place there given how he was treated in the state system, regardless of what hardship it caused.

@Twentythirdtry if your reply was to me (and I think it was)

1, No - as I said it’s nuanced and I shan’t post details here for obvious reasons, but it would need to be shown that working for a second parent is not feasible. Genuine caring responsibilities would be considered of course. But I’ve had applicants who have said similar but when delving it’s not quite the case.

1. Plenty of bursaries in non-selective, especially when not full. The marginal cost of giving a bursary vs having a open place can be negligible.

3.Private schools are businesses. Just apply. They don’t care about whether or not you were disingenuous. They will award or not - you’ll lose nothing. It’s not like they’ll rescind the place if you don’t qualify. You should see the applications I get. I’d be glad to have one from a family genuinely deserving.

Thank you! It’s refreshing to read such a genuinely helpful and understanding reply! I hadn’t considered a Steiner school. I’ve heard about them but wasn’t sure what to make of them. Thanks for the suggestion though I will do a bit of research…

Those paragraphs went to shit, didn’t they? 😳

I’d like to add @Twentythirdtry I myself have two children with ASD - both in specialist provision. The older in in a specialist ASD where fees are well in excess of Eton and Harrow funded by his EHCP.

Become an expert and be your child’s advocate.

Fuck what anyone else thinks of you.

I wouldn’t go for specialist SEN schools as they often offer zero in terms of academics

This is very much area dependent - at my son’s ASD school some children achieve A* at GCSE in core subjects.

My son is well above average academically and would pass entrance exams for an academic senior but his mental health could not cope. I prioritized his mental health and wellbeing above all - it’s not possible to succeed otherwise.

How would I demonstrate that? There is reams and reams of medical evidence to prove the person’s need for care, documentation detailing what I do for the person (shopping, showering, cleaning, medication, cooking, washing, dressing, attending appointments/wheeling them around and general support, safeguarding, advocacy and company).

I’ve even looked into getting call handler type work-from-home night shift work (I sleep in blocks of 3 hours anyway so it wouldn’t really matter) but I’ve found competition for work from home jobs is fierce and night shift opportunities are quite rare.

Thank you for the reassurance. This prep doesn’t offer or advertise any bursaries as standard and makes it clear that they are a business and not a charity - and except from (several) letters about the VAT rise and asking parents to speak to the business manager if they’re struggling. So I know there is help, but not a significant amount. They have however already been generous with the extra support provided for free (we didn’t ask for it). I think they are at least somewhat aware that we are far from well off, but don’t really want to ask if we can help it. If it comes to a choice between needing to pull him out or ask for help, then we will, it all depends on the price rise next year and whether his dad does continue to get the overtime.

If there’s evidence then that’s fine (for us).

If you want to ignore advice from someone who literally does this for a living then fine, but you’re a fool not to apply when there is literally no downside.

I’m not ignoring you at all and I have very much appreciated your input to the thread. But there is literally nothing to apply for. They don’t have bursary application forms as they don’t actually offer bursaries - certainly not as standard. So how are bursaries applied for if they don’t exist? All that is offered currently is to contact them for ‘support’ and that’s only because of the VAT add on so I almost certainly already know their answer: why join when you knew you couldn’t afford the fees? I think it’s best not to taint their view of us, especially going forward in terms of the heads reference for potential senior schools

If you think that knowing you are financially struggling will taint the school's view of you, or cause the head to write your son a bad reference, this isn't a good school.

No that’s not what I meant at all - asking for bursary help after joining despite knowing before he joined that it would be a struggle would be disingenuous and that would taint the schools view.

There is a difference between a school offering bursaries in general, and a school offering bursaries to children who are already in the school to cover cases of hardship. I suggest there is no harm in asking at your current prep school. If they say no, then you'll presumably struggle on as you are doing now.

Anecodatal story for you, but my niece was offered at art scholarship. It came with 10% off fees and she also got a further 10% bursary based on her parents' income. She was a strong all round academic candidate though. In the end she went somewhere else and one reason for this was that the art scholarship came with a string of conditions including that she attended at least one extracurricular art activity, took regular part in the cultural activities of the school and committed to taking Art at GCSE and A Level. Her parents felt that was a lot of committment to put on a 10 year old for the next 7 years! So something to bear in mind when considering scholarships - the pressure that they may put on your child.

Most subject scholarships have conditions. They expect music scholars to be in the orchestra. Sports scholars to be in teams. Drama scholars to be in plays. Often scholarship concerts and events are expected. Why should schools spend parents' money and see little in return to boost the school? Fee income is used to support the most deserving but it's reasonable for scholars to have conditions. It's give and take usually! Even academic scholars must remain brilliant!

Do you not think that a lot of these issues could be solved if you looked into the person you care for receiving care from an external source ie council funded. You could then earn a significant chunk of the fees needed to pay for your sons fees