Page 5 | Fallen out with DP over comment made at Sunday lunch

Gtbb · 03/03/2025 22:54

He sounds like a crude coarse twat.
I would be mortified for you and no doubt your friends are.

He's low class OP.
Respectful decent men don't behave like that.
He has made a show of himself and embarrassed you.
Have a think is he worth the effort.

Hwi · 03/03/2025 22:54

DP is a swine, but how rude are your friends commenting on your figure - you are not a race horse, or a breeding dog to opine on your physical characteristics. Very vulgar of them.

MiniPumpkin · 03/03/2025 22:55

Defo agree about taking you down a peg.
jealous ? Controlling? Fed up with your diet ? Maybe all of them.
i wouldn’t be happy if I was you.

5foot5 · 03/03/2025 23:01

ZebedeeDougalFlorence · 03/03/2025 22:49

I suppose it depends on your sense of humour. What he said was quite c/rude, but it made me laugh my head off.

Well I guess on this occasion he read the room wrong. Some groups of people would laugh their head off and some, like this group of people, would find it distasteful hence the awkward atmosphere.

In his shoes I think most people would, or should, feel embarrassed that they had judged this poorly. Ideally he should apologise to the OP for showing her up in this way. Obviously he has instead decided to double down and tell her she is overreacting, despite him being the only person in the group who found it amusing.

Squigglesandgiggles · 03/03/2025 23:05

My ex used to do that and I got really fed up with him any comment he made infront of people I’d embarrass him back-‘what did you mean by that!’ ‘ can you just clarify what your trying to do here- make people laugh at my expense or…’
loud and clear so everyone heard. He soon stopped. Prick

gottakeeponmoving · 03/03/2025 23:06

PopkinsBear · 03/03/2025 20:29

Opinions welcome as DP is adamant I am over-reacting. We went for a roast yesterday with a group of other couples (my friends and their OH’s). I have been going to the gym regularly since January and my friends complimented me on some changes in my figure. DP announced ‘the only problem is that with all the protein shakes, her farts take the paint off the walls’. Hardly anyone reacted and it went really awkward.

We had an argument about this when we arrived home and DP maintains I should lighten up. I feel like he embarrassed me for no reason and should apologise.

He didn’t embarrass you, he embarrassed himself.

hehehesorry · 03/03/2025 23:19

Go and fart in the toilet if you're so prude you find farts a private matter, you can't just rip protein farts freely and expect it to be some weird private thing never to be spoken of

ThisFluentBiscuit · 03/03/2025 23:23

How sexy of him to act as if you're his kid brother. Eye roll. My vagina would have slammed shut. What is WRONG with some men?

Maybe he's feeling threatened and insecure by how good you look?

JadededViewer · 03/03/2025 23:30

Ah, the delicate art of social positioning, where a single sentence can shift the balance of power in a relationship. What we have here is not just a poorly timed joke it’s an assertion of dominance disguised as humor.

Your DP (darling partner, or perhaps today, “damned provocateur”) executed a textbook social undermining maneuver: taking a moment of your success and undercutting it with a crude remark. It wasn’t just about farts it was about control. The setting? A public arena, where subtle power plays matter. Your friends were building you up; he made sure to bring you down a notch. And when you reacted? The classic defense: “You should lighten up.” Translation? “Accept my framing of reality, not your own.”

Let’s be clear: this wasn’t a slip of the tongue. This was calculated whether consciously or not. He saw you in the spotlight and took it upon himself to remind the room and you of his authority. And that awkward silence? That wasn’t just embarrassment it was recognition. Everyone at that table understood the move, even if they didn’t verbalize it.

ThisFluentBiscuit · 03/03/2025 23:40

JadededViewer · 03/03/2025 23:30

Ah, the delicate art of social positioning, where a single sentence can shift the balance of power in a relationship. What we have here is not just a poorly timed joke it’s an assertion of dominance disguised as humor.

Your DP (darling partner, or perhaps today, “damned provocateur”) executed a textbook social undermining maneuver: taking a moment of your success and undercutting it with a crude remark. It wasn’t just about farts it was about control. The setting? A public arena, where subtle power plays matter. Your friends were building you up; he made sure to bring you down a notch. And when you reacted? The classic defense: “You should lighten up.” Translation? “Accept my framing of reality, not your own.”

Let’s be clear: this wasn’t a slip of the tongue. This was calculated whether consciously or not. He saw you in the spotlight and took it upon himself to remind the room and you of his authority. And that awkward silence? That wasn’t just embarrassment it was recognition. Everyone at that table understood the move, even if they didn’t verbalize it.

Totally agree with all this. That's the basis of all put-downs, really. It's social aggression and, yes, a display of dominance. And control.

It was a disgusting thing to say.

GivingUpFinally · 03/03/2025 23:46

He's jealous. Simple. Was an easy way to take the shine off you

Auldy · 03/03/2025 23:51

It doesn't matter that some people find fart humour funny and some people don't. In a healthy, loving relationship if a person says "what you said embarrassed me and made me uncomfortable" the only acceptable reaction is to apologise profusely and promise to do better. You may have different types of humour and ideas of what's socially acceptable and that's ok. It's not ok to minimise your part in hurting or embarrassing your partner.

SwordToFlamethrower · 04/03/2025 00:01

I read this out to my husband and he started laughing and so did I! That was the right reaction really! Just very funny!

fearfulexchange · 04/03/2025 05:35

ArabellaWeird · 03/03/2025 20:32

He was taking you down a peg.

This.

You were being complimented, so he made it about him.

Laralou999 · 04/03/2025 05:38

I think he’s feeling insecure that you’re looking good

autisticbookworm · 04/03/2025 05:53

So you were getting some compliments and he felt the need to bring you down. Is this typical behaviour for him?

The comment was gross I'd b annoyed. I always tell my kids if no one laughs it isn't funny!

zoemum2006 · 04/03/2025 06:04

I think tone matters most here. If it was said with affection then it’s quite funny but if you felt he did it to be cruel/ to humiliate then that’s a different story.

Neemie · 04/03/2025 06:10

Is he trying to bring you down because he isn’t managing to keep in shape. If I was one of your friends, I would assume that he was feeling insecure, unless he’s lean and muscular.

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 04/03/2025 06:13

I wouldn’t like it either but I wouldn’t fall out about it. I’d just make it clear he’s never to let anyone know you fart ever again!

HelmholtzWatson · 04/03/2025 06:42

How bad is the smell?

SparklyGlitterballs · 04/03/2025 07:01

Based on your update that you laugh about it in private and he returns fire, I'd say it was intended as a joke but he misread the room. I'd explain to him that anything to do with bodily functions is off limits when you're out with friends. He should have been gracious and apologised for embarrassing you. Sounds like, based on the flat reaction from your friends, he knows it was wrong but his ego won't allow him to say sorry, hence the "lighten up" comment.

Personally I find the comment crass while out with friends, but then I think letting off loud smelly farts in front of your partner is distasteful too.

TurtleBarnacle · 04/03/2025 07:29

JadededViewer · 03/03/2025 23:30

Ah, the delicate art of social positioning, where a single sentence can shift the balance of power in a relationship. What we have here is not just a poorly timed joke it’s an assertion of dominance disguised as humor.

Your DP (darling partner, or perhaps today, “damned provocateur”) executed a textbook social undermining maneuver: taking a moment of your success and undercutting it with a crude remark. It wasn’t just about farts it was about control. The setting? A public arena, where subtle power plays matter. Your friends were building you up; he made sure to bring you down a notch. And when you reacted? The classic defense: “You should lighten up.” Translation? “Accept my framing of reality, not your own.”

Let’s be clear: this wasn’t a slip of the tongue. This was calculated whether consciously or not. He saw you in the spotlight and took it upon himself to remind the room and you of his authority. And that awkward silence? That wasn’t just embarrassment it was recognition. Everyone at that table understood the move, even if they didn’t verbalize it.

I completely agree with this.

He didn't like you being complimented and doesn't want you to feel confident.

It's all about control.

Waisted · 04/03/2025 07:30

Ratisshortforratthew · 03/03/2025 20:35

This is the kind of thing my partner and I would say and I’d have found it funny. So would my friends. You and they sound humorless and uptight to me

Same here.

Let’s be honest, those protein farts are horrendous too, he wasn’t lying.

Valeriekat · 04/03/2025 07:30

Ratisshortforratthew · 03/03/2025 20:35

This is the kind of thing my partner and I would say and I’d have found it funny. So would my friends. You and they sound humorless and uptight to me

Your standards are very low. This was massively disrespectful.

Gtbb · 04/03/2025 07:34

He absolutely wanted to take the OP down a notch.
This the OP's template of a relationship with him.
Not a good man.
A petty little toad whom will always be intent on keeping her from feeling too good about herself or any success she might enjoy.

She cannot pretend she wasn't clearly warned and shown exactly who he is.

If you were my friend I would feel very sorry for you.