Fallen out with DP over comment made at Sunday lunch

[PopkinsBear]

Opinions welcome as DP is adamant I am over-reacting. We went for a roast yesterday with a group of other couples (my friends and their OH’s). I have been going to the gym regularly since January and my friends complimented me on some changes in my figure. DP announced ‘the only problem is that with all the protein shakes, her farts take the paint off the walls’. Hardly anyone reacted and it went really awkward.

We had an argument about this when we arrived home and DP maintains I should lighten up. I feel like he embarrassed me for no reason and should apologise.

He was putting you down in public, trying to humiliate you, it's a control thing.

Agreed. I would have felt embarrassed and humiliated by this. And I’m not at all humourless and I don’t mind being teased a bit, but this was nasty.

My hubby would have said similar- I would laugh

But I also say about some of the men in the gym that the noises they make when they lift weight is louder than the labour ward....

He is being crass and should stop being a nob.

What's his sense of humour usually like re farting etc? Is he normally kind? Is your sense that he was trying to embarrass you, or is it more that it was a swing and a miss and he needs to apologise?

I kind of think if you are comfortable passing foul smelling wind in front of him then you should be comfortable to joke about it? If you're embarrassed about it, don't do it!

I'm guessing he's overweight or not happy with then?

It's a jealous snipe.

This would be funny with certain friends that you feel at ease with, it really depends on the friends though and if you usually joke like this.

He usually finds it amusing and has no issue in ‘returning fire’ if you know what I mean!

At most, I would have rolled my eyes at this. Really not a big deal at all.

1. Your friends found his comment funny and think he's a great guy.

1. Your friends found his comment crass and think he's a socially inept twat.

Either way it reflects on him not you (other than your questionable taste in men).

Either way when you tell someone they hurt your feelings you apologise

He’s negging you OP, it wasn’t meant as a joke. He wants you to stay in your lane!

He’ll be sabotaging your achievements soon. Years ago I knew someone whose partner tried to sabotage her weight loss by constantly bringing boxes of chocolate home. I wonder if he feels insecure? Not an excuse for him to belittle you though.

What an absolutely revolting thing to say. Unfunny and cruel.

So farts as humour are normal?

I think it’s funny.
I’d have said ‘oh shut up’ and laughed!

Are you upset because it’s true and you’re embarrassed? My husband had terrible wind when he had a lot of protein shakes. His farts smelled so bad once I actually cried… I was hormonal!

Totally this!!

Then it sounds like he just finds farts funny and it was a genuine joke. It's not my kind of humour, but I know it's lots of other people's, so I don't subscribe to all the pearl clutching posts and their insistence that he was deliberately putting you down.

Hard to say. It's the sort of thing that could be funny with the right audience (or at least just brushed off with an eye roll) or could come off as gross and mean. I'd probably give him the benefit of the doubt unless he makes other comments to undermine you.

I would be beyond horrified. Utterly tasteless, rude and disgusting.

So are her farts by the sound of it!

Is it one of those things that if you had said "Oh my farts could take the paint off the walls!" they would laugh WITH you, but he said it in a laugh AT you sort of way? So as your friends, they didnt want to join in his take down of you?

It’s crass and weird that he cannot see why it would be embarrassing for you.

And even if it is a difference in humour why is he invalidating your feelings instead of simply apologising?

I mean farts that could strip a wall are pretty rude and disgusting. If your willing to let em
blow freely they will be commented on.

Quite a leap.