Would you forgive a drunken kiss? Danny/Maura

[Corta]

Sadly seen the Danny/Maura incident. Really feel for his wife as I’ve been there. Dh confessed to me he had had a drunken snog at his works Xmas do. Very humiliating. I would have probably divorced him if we didn’t have kids. It was really painful given it was “only” a kiss. I remember just thinking how dare you. We all go out with friends and speak to members of the opposite sex who want to try it on. But there’s something called self restraint.

I would stay but I’d never forgive or forget. My heart would never truly be 💯 in it again.

I'd stay for the children... which isn't great really is it. I don't think I'd be able to get past it.

I forgave DH a drunken kiss many many years ago (I can't remember how many but more than 20). We're still happily married and it's never happened again (as far as I know!) so I think it was the right decision.

No I wouldnt. Its a line crossed and something that can never fully be repaired or forgotten.

Nope, it would absolutely be over for me. Why stay when the trust has been broken?

No, I don’t think so. I’d never trust him again, wouldn’t want to live like that.

Really hard to say until it happens but I want to say no. I know some people say it’s just a kiss but I’d like to think myself and DH have a really close trustworthy relationship and if he was to kiss anyone else it would change that, it’s not just the kiss for me it’s the aftermath. Would my trust for him go?

I love quiet nights in after dc go to sleep when he goes out, would him cheating then make me feel anxious all night worrying if he will drunkenly kiss someone else? Would I then worry he would be capable of more than a kiss next time?

A drunken kiss with a stranger - maybe? Not sure. Would consider forgiving.

A work colleague at a Xmas do or a friend/someone you know/in public in front of everyone at the Brits - would not forgive.

It would be too much of a break of trust for me. I’ve been revoltingly drunk in the past and managed to never give in and kiss someone else (or worse) because I’m committed to my relationship and respect myself and dh.
we’ve got 3 dc together and if either of us did this it would be over.
And I’m not saying anyone who stays is wrong because we are all living in different circumstances but it would be totally over and done with for me. The trust would be gone and I wouldn’t want to spend the rest of my life wondering if he went out if it was happening again, it wouldn’t be fair and I deserve more.

I think I could but honestly not if it was this situation. It has blown up everywhere. It will now always be something the papers can refer back to when they need a headline.

Every interaction between them publicly judged. Especially after them being in the jungle together.

Now he has opened his marriage up to ridicule and gossip for ever more.

I see Maura is flat out deleting comments on her IG. Considering how public she was on her opinion of her cheating ex, this is going to give media headlines for days.

Not that I'd offer this information up to my DH but, yeah, I would forgive a drunken kiss. But if it had been preceded by an emotional affair then that's game over.

Neither me or my husband drink. We also don't overly socialise in those scenarios. Just not our lifestyle. So we would have to really put ourselves in that situation for it to happen and that would feel very premeditated. It would certainly speak of wider issues in our relationship.

Who knows if I could forgive or move past it. I always think it's one of those things that untill it happens you never know. I don't feel like I could. I would lose respect for him.

I certainly don't judge others who do or don't move past this. It's very nuanced to every couple.

Poor Danny's wife and child. What a silly pointless thing to do with such huge repercussions and impact.

Nope. Drinking isn't an excuse I'd accept.

I'd never be able to trust him again so there would be no point.

They must have been pretty smashed to do that at an event with so many cameras around.
I feel sorry for his wife and children.

OK I can't be arsed to Google. Who are Danny and Maura?

I think it's the worst of all positions tbh, is it bad enough to break up your family over? But how are you going to ever trust him again? And the humiliation of having i plastered all over the press. His poor wife.

You could literally have typed Danny and Maura into google with less effort than commenting!

www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-14453651/amp/Newly-single-Maura-Higgins-shares-drunken-kiss-married-Im-Celeb-star-Danny-Jones-BRIT-Awards-afterparty.html

No coz I'm using Google for multiple mumsnetting. Thanks for the link.

I think Maura was in the jungle last year but not sure who Danny is!
regardless, the question from the op is an interesting one.

a snog?
a long kiss?
what type

I've been with DH for 20 years and he forgave me a drunken kiss 8 years ago. It's never happened before or since.
I was overseas for 4 months with work and went to an all-day bottomless brunch. I drank a frightening amount and passionately kissed a guy right at the end of the night. There was no back story with this guy.
As soon as the kiss happened, I disappeared into the night, hammered (in a muslim country), to no doubt get into an unlicensed taxi on my own back to my hotel (I dont remember getting home).
I told DH the next morning.
In the 8 years since, I've had a strict 2 drink rule for work functions, and I've never broken it.

what about Adrien and Halle?

If you are drinking enough that you are kissing someone you shouldn't be (and can't remember it), you also have a drinking problem.

They were both in the jungle together last year. He won.

I feel so sorry for his wife.

I’ll caveat this by saying our marriage is open, so a kiss (and more) isn’t a problem for us. But I can also say that often, a drunken kiss really can just be a drunken kiss, with no other meaning or emotion. I’ve had a lot of them, which were fun at the time, with attractive people - but people I haven’t had any desire whatsoever to see or kiss or do anything else with in any other context. It was a drunk kiss. We enjoyed it. But that was it. I can’t even remember many of their names, years on.