To think that women are still doing the brunt of childcare even on holiday?

[Binman]

I've just returned from a half term holiday with grandchildren and I am genuinely sad at how much of the childcare still falls to the women. I can honestly say that my observations around the pool and the restaurants it is the mother who is changing, feeding, applying sun cream etc. The father may get in the pool for a while but is mainly chilling while the mother does the main care.

I know there are hands on dads out there but the more I noticed the more I observed and so many of the fathers only did the fun bits in the pool or the quiet time, which was mostly the child on a phone or iPad.

It was the mothers sitting with the child on the plane or carrying three hand luggage's while the father carried the child. While waiting for our flight a woman I was talking to said she was dreading the flight as she was exhausted, when I asked her why she didn't sit in the 4th seat and leave the 2 children to her DH on one row, she said he won't do that.

I suppose my AIBU is that should the fathers not be stepping up, where both parents need a relax and respite from their usual daily grind?

With that level of entitlement no wonder he's an ex!

And you conveniently left out the last bit of my post.

@JoyDreamer86 You do know the pill doesn't protect against herpes? Condoms do to a far greater extent (although not perfect).
Assuming you use condoms when having casual sex? Or would that be too much to ask of a man?

I'm a grown woman in my 40s now and you are referring to things I did when I was young. Have you never done stupid or reckless things growing up? My post was to reassure a woman who was panicking. I dont just come on here to attack people like you.

Oh to be a saint like you. Actually sorry calling someone you dont know a vile twat is not something I would do. Might have done when I was a teenager though.

It’s hard isn’t it? Because we are hard wired to be maternal, to want to be with our baby and care for it. So often the dad is then doing a nappy change or holding baby while we shower or dealing with toddler, the soothing and feeding is us from day one. Or it was for me. I am default parent because I am a Sahm mum but I was default from the moment they were born. My dh is “hands on” he was up with me for every night feed, he is there for our kids but I have and do still, the day to day. I anticipate their needs and wants better than he does. Is that society? Is that inequality? Is that learned behaviour.
i don’t know what the answer is.

I don’t think I’m anymore maternal than DH is paternal. As a doctor he was much better in the caring role. He wanted a family as much as me - was hands on from day one, always actively involved with DT’s - this hasn’t changed even though DT’s are now in their mid 20’s and both living in different countries on another continent than us

It's an expression!

Let me guess- your unsatisfied? There are toys that can help with that

You've picked up a post about contraception by me, went to the bother of going through my many posts, copied one into this thread, with no relevance, banging on about something from the past about someone you dont know- that gives you kicks, I'd say your frustrated yes.

Shared parental leave is a game changer. My kids prefer me for comfort and him for entertainment, but most other stuff is 50:50.

Ok lets go with that explanation 😉

You don't need to be together 24/7 whether at work or on holiday.

Personally I can't abide being stuck with someone the whole time I need my space

I disagree with " hard wired". We don't become parents automatically knowing what to do. Think a lot of it is social conditioning.

I like being with DH/DT’s when we’re on holiday as at home we are busy with work, hobbies, life.