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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My neighbour has been annoying me for months and months

157 replies

Neighbourissuedaily · 01/03/2025 17:37

I couldn’t take it any more today and snapped at her to just fuck off and leave us alone.

She moved in just over 2 years ago and was overly friendly from the start but I thought it was just her trying to be nice. About a year ago she seemed to be there every time either of us left the house.
She started asking could she add a few bits to our weekly grocery delivery and then didn’t pay us back so after 3 weeks I said sorry we won’t be doing that any more.
If dh goes in the garden she’s there asking for help with something, in spring and summer she wants him to cut her grass for her and when he said sorry he’s busy and doing ours then we have plans she text me to say I’m controlling not allowing him to help her ??

Knocking all the time asking to ‘borrow’ Dh for lifting something / fixing something / etc etc

Wanting to park on our drive often and when I say no she does it anyway ??

EVERY bloody weekday morning she’s there waiting by the car wanting a lift to school and sometimes dh drops me to work on the way and then there isn’t enough room for her and her dc and she will say that I should make my own way then storms off !

There’s more as well I can’t list it all but she’s suffocating and relentless and so so needy.

Today she has been texting asking can dh drop her to the out of hours as she hasn’t felt well. I said no we are busy she should get a taxi. She then came round to ask dh herself and when i said he was busy she said ‘you don’t own him !!’

I’ve told her to never contact us again that we find her exhausting and are considering moving . She told me she wouldn’t be so persistent if we were ‘better natured’ and ‘helped without pressure’ 😂😂 which was when I told her to FO and shut the door.

She text afterwards to tell me I’m very selfish and I don’t have a ‘village mindset’ !!

OP posts:
GoldBeautifulHeart · 01/03/2025 19:19

MrsSchrute · 01/03/2025 18:46

Why do you think she is like that op? Genuine question. Lonely? Unwell? ND?

Obviously she is BU, and you did the right thing, I just wonder why people behave like this.

ND people don't act like cf... I'm one and I'd never ask my neighbours for anything!

Bit insulting that...

LovelyLeitrim · 01/03/2025 19:21

Apennyforapound · 01/03/2025 19:18

Yeah, I skimmed the op. You don't know how old I am, maybe you're lacking some skills yourself there. This thread has nothing to do with observation skills, you're being facetious there.

Whether I'm young, middle aged, or old my opinion stands. I would assume somebody who is requiring so much help would be on the older more frail side. I suppose it is easier to think that than somebody being such a CF. If you scroll up you'll see another poster who said in all her years, she had never heard of somebody like this. You'll also see another pp who would have expected this from an older more vulnerable person. It isn't normal behaviour for a healthy able 37 year old at all. Sorry I seem to have offended you so much. Have a lovely evening.

Edited

Well then don’t skim read, because you make yourself look very silly!

Sorry did I touch a nerve?

Jom222 · 01/03/2025 19:22

She reminds of the lady who lived 2 doors down from us and needed everything-rides, cash, misc food, etc. It was getting worse and she was starting to bother H instead of me as I’d started putting the brakes on.

Then one morning H got up at 430am and within seconds our phone was ringing. She’d obviously been watching for the light to come on. I heard H say hello Deb and I started yelling so loudly she heard it in her house. She didn’t get the headache pills or any future favors either.

I bet it felt good to finally tell her to FO!

(Deb and family lost their home not long after and I felt very sad for their 2 sons, what a humiliation to have all your worldly belongings on the road.)

Apennyforapound · 01/03/2025 19:24

LovelyLeitrim · 01/03/2025 19:21

Well then don’t skim read, because you make yourself look very silly!

Sorry did I touch a nerve?

😂 no, I'm good. Have a lovely evening.

Ohapal · 01/03/2025 19:25

A lot of people who mention the village are people who want everyone around them to provide all sorts for free when demanded. Childcare, lifts, shopping, clothing, handyman services, general help. I knew someone like this who yapped on about the “village” - I ghosted her. Just a complete cheeky fucker taking anything from anyone. Another friend who wasn’t “mean” enough to ghost her lent her £3000 (lunatic). Well that never came back.

LovelyLeitrim · 01/03/2025 19:26

This reply has been deleted

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LovelyLeitrim · 01/03/2025 19:28

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*along

Ilovethatbear · 01/03/2025 19:31

Why haven’t you blocked her!?

Apennyforapound · 01/03/2025 19:33

Ohapal · 01/03/2025 19:25

A lot of people who mention the village are people who want everyone around them to provide all sorts for free when demanded. Childcare, lifts, shopping, clothing, handyman services, general help. I knew someone like this who yapped on about the “village” - I ghosted her. Just a complete cheeky fucker taking anything from anyone. Another friend who wasn’t “mean” enough to ghost her lent her £3000 (lunatic). Well that never came back.

Yes, I agree. I hate the saying, "it takes a village" too. It is usually said in connection with raising a child. I haven't heard it in the context within this thread. She sounds awful, I hope op gets this sorted out.
It can be uncomfortable living next to awkward neighbours at the best of times, but I've never encountered a neighbourly situation as extreme as this one. It sounds like you had a similar scenario, and £3,000, 😱

Annaannaannab · 01/03/2025 19:34

I am actually crying with laughter at the sausage roll story 😂

I just asked my husband if he fancied it and he looked at me like I had gone mad 😂

Apennyforapound · 01/03/2025 19:36

LovelyLeitrim · 01/03/2025 19:28

*along

I don't want to derail this thread. What do you want from me? You do not know me, I do not know you. I have responded the way I felt was necessary based on the rudeness of the poster before me, who was being extremely petty. Please leave me alone, and yes have a nice night, just as I will too. I'm sorry you find it sarcastic.

Chuchoter · 01/03/2025 19:37

Block her on both your phones. Get a Ring doorbell or similar in case she knocks and starts harassing you.

Agree with your husband, one easy to remember phrase you can say when she approaches you in person-

'The answer is no, Sharon! Stop harassing us.'

LovelyLeitrim · 01/03/2025 19:39

Apennyforapound · 01/03/2025 19:36

I don't want to derail this thread. What do you want from me? You do not know me, I do not know you. I have responded the way I felt was necessary based on the rudeness of the poster before me, who was being extremely petty. Please leave me alone, and yes have a nice night, just as I will too. I'm sorry you find it sarcastic.

Sorry, I seem to have touched a raw nerve!

You were extremely sarcastic to a previous poster, about ageism, I was merely pointing out how ridiculous your comment was, as the OP said the neighbour had school age children.

If you can’t take it, don’t give it out!

Now, you have a lovely evening

Apennyforapound · 01/03/2025 19:41

LovelyLeitrim · 01/03/2025 19:39

Sorry, I seem to have touched a raw nerve!

You were extremely sarcastic to a previous poster, about ageism, I was merely pointing out how ridiculous your comment was, as the OP said the neighbour had school age children.

If you can’t take it, don’t give it out!

Now, you have a lovely evening

I'm fine, thank you, and no, I am not ageist.

LovelyLeitrim · 01/03/2025 19:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

isthesolution · 01/03/2025 19:45

I'd have to move. I really would. I'd feel like I could never relax!

But yes in the short term - block her number, get a ring doorbell and do not answer the door to her and when asked face to face id say 'I'm afraid we can't help with that' to every request!

Incidentally...... have you spoken to any other neighbours about her?!

JennyJenny8675309 · 01/03/2025 19:46

LovelyLeitrim · 01/03/2025 19:21

Well then don’t skim read, because you make yourself look very silly!

Sorry did I touch a nerve?

A tit for tat response like yours always seems very silly though.

LovelyLeitrim · 01/03/2025 19:47

JennyJenny8675309 · 01/03/2025 19:46

A tit for tat response like yours always seems very silly though.

In your opinion, not mine.

Am I ok to respond to this, or is that “wrong” in your opinion?

RainbowSlimeLab · 01/03/2025 19:51

Neighbourissuedaily · 01/03/2025 17:49

I don’t think so, I can’t be sure obviously but I think she’s just lazy and wants help with everything. Dh is one of those people whose face has subtitles so I can tell even if she does like him that I wouldn’t have to worry at all 😂 if he leaves the house and she jumps out from somewhere to say hello he looks like he wants to disappear

Reminds me of Hyacinth pouncing on poor Emmett! 🤣

kalokagathos · 01/03/2025 19:57

😳😳 OMG- that's nuts!!!! Stalkerish behaviour!

LovelyLeitrim · 01/03/2025 19:59

RainbowSlimeLab · 01/03/2025 19:51

Reminds me of Hyacinth pouncing on poor Emmett! 🤣

😆 😆

MrsSchrute · 01/03/2025 20:00

GoldBeautifulHeart · 01/03/2025 19:19

ND people don't act like cf... I'm one and I'd never ask my neighbours for anything!

Bit insulting that...

Edited

No insult intended, my DC is ND and would never act like this.
My friend is also ND and he definitely would! He wouldn't mean any harm, and would have no idea that he was doing anything wrong, he just has no concept of social norms at all. He would be horrified to have upset anyone!

Mamamiaaaaa · 01/03/2025 20:08

Does she have a husband?
If yes, may he rest in peace.
If no, there’s no wonder he escaped.

Mamamiaaaaa · 01/03/2025 20:11

Also she wants to replace you and marry your husband. Steer clear of the psycho bitch.

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 01/03/2025 20:16

Don't believe you Op. To "far fetched".