My neighbour has been annoying me for months and months

[Neighbourissuedaily]

I couldn’t take it any more today and snapped at her to just fuck off and leave us alone.

She moved in just over 2 years ago and was overly friendly from the start but I thought it was just her trying to be nice. About a year ago she seemed to be there every time either of us left the house.
She started asking could she add a few bits to our weekly grocery delivery and then didn’t pay us back so after 3 weeks I said sorry we won’t be doing that any more.
If dh goes in the garden she’s there asking for help with something, in spring and summer she wants him to cut her grass for her and when he said sorry he’s busy and doing ours then we have plans she text me to say I’m controlling not allowing him to help her ??

Knocking all the time asking to ‘borrow’ Dh for lifting something / fixing something / etc etc

Wanting to park on our drive often and when I say no she does it anyway ??

EVERY bloody weekday morning she’s there waiting by the car wanting a lift to school and sometimes dh drops me to work on the way and then there isn’t enough room for her and her dc and she will say that I should make my own way then storms off !

There’s more as well I can’t list it all but she’s suffocating and relentless and so so needy.

Today she has been texting asking can dh drop her to the out of hours as she hasn’t felt well. I said no we are busy she should get a taxi. She then came round to ask dh herself and when i said he was busy she said ‘you don’t own him !!’

I’ve told her to never contact us again that we find her exhausting and are considering moving . She told me she wouldn’t be so persistent if we were ‘better natured’ and ‘helped without pressure’ 😂😂 which was when I told her to FO and shut the door.

She text afterwards to tell me I’m very selfish and I don’t have a ‘village mindset’ !!

She's not quite right in the head. Tell her you want nothing to do with her. EVER!

One of the few times I would say block her, just don’t take her calls or texts.

Well done telling her to fuck off. Block her number and keep ignoring her. Cheeky entitled cow!

When I was young my neighbour was a woman in her 60s who'd wait outside for me coming home from work then yak on for an hour before I could get in the door. She'd often phone and the same would happen. I'd cut my grass and she'd be straight out wanting to talk. Drove me insane, I felt I was losing entire evenings to her mindless chit-chat. She was clearly lonely and I was a soft touch back then - its taught me to not engage with neighbours beyond a polite smile and wave every now and then!

So I applaud your assertiveness

Well I’d block her. Or call her bluff. Say you can help her move something or can drop her somewhere. If she asks why he can’t do it, just say he doesn’t want to as she makes him feel uncomfortable and feels she’s being sexist. Bet she’d stop asking soon enough!

Because dh was ‘going there anyway’ and she wanted to save her petrol !

Why do you think she is like that op? Genuine question. Lonely? Unwell? ND?

Obviously she is BU, and you did the right thing, I just wonder why people behave like this.

No one has EVER taken the piss out of me like that, I wish they would, I'd have sooo much fun with them😈

it is so ageist to think that only older people will ask for help.But typical of mumsnet where it is considered ok to say'i feel 70' when some 70 year olds might be running in a small marathon or at least doing their own garden.Why dont you try getting to know older people other than your nan or mum?I do appreciate you are all busy but ffs.

It sounds very much like she has a personality disorder. But that isn't your problem. Block her number. If she speaks to either of you literally ignore her completely and if she comes to your house and you open the door, literallly shut it in her face without speaking or acknowledging her. If she persists, send her a cease and desist letter and tell her you will approach the police for harassment. Who the hell needs all this when you just want to get on with your life

I'd just reply 'then move to a village.' Then block her. Unless you're already in one, of course.

She sounds unhinged. :(

Enforce the boundaries, don't engage in anything she could construe as being negotiation. One way to do this is for you and your DH to shut her down immediately each time and be consistent:

"No, I'm sorry that doesn't work for us."

...if you have to speak to her. Hopefully, she'll tire of the repetitive rebuff and stop hassling you.

As it stands, it's not a police matter per se, but as she's already shown she has odd boundaries and it's becoming not unreasonably stressful, I'd have a word with someone from your neighbourhood police team if you can for advice. It may be that they can pay her a visit for a chat.

I would document everything you can remember and from this point moving forward. I'd also think about getting a Ring doorbell and a camera or two to cover yourself if her unpleasantness escalates further.

I would block her from texting or phoning you for a start.

Ask her what the fuck she does for the village, because as far as you can see, it's only trying to take advantage of anyone near her in it.

Then refuse every single request going forward.

Suggest finding a way to prevent her from accessing your drive

“I am very sorry that you’re lonely and apparently have developed some sort of infatuation with me, but my wife and I consider that you have overstepped the boundaries of neighbourly nature and the rest of the village agrees with us. We will have no further contact with you”

I’d put money on your dh and her having it on and deep within your subconscious… you have suspicions

But would an 80 year old have a child at school? 🤔

Read the OP, clearly younger people can lack observation skills!

WTF?

OP clearly stated that she has no suspicions! He’s not interested!

A fool and their money is easily parted! Save your money.

“You don’t own him” 😂😂 Neither does she! I feel claustrophobic just reading this, poor you OP

That’s so cheeky! CF!

Reply to every request with. 'Sure that will be £x. Please pop the money through the letterbox'.

Don't make excuses or give her reasons, don't engage with her at all, just say 'No'. Block her number, block her on social media. Keep saying 'No'. She's a user and a manipulator. Leave a note on her windscreen if she parks in your driveway 'Private parking, do not park here again'. Block your driveway if you can. Don't get into conversation with her at all. Get yourself a camera doorbell, then don't answer the door to her. Just ignore her, when she sees she's not getting any use from you she'll move on to pester someone else.

She MUST be mentally unwell. Who in their right mind behaves like that?!

Yeah, I skimmed the op. You don't know how old I am, maybe you're lacking some skills yourself there. This thread has nothing to do with observation skills, you're being facetious there.

Whether I'm young, middle aged, or old my opinion stands. I would assume somebody who is requiring so much help would be on the older more frail side. I suppose it is easier to think that than somebody being such a CF. If you scroll up you'll see another poster who said in all her years, she had never heard of somebody like this. You'll also see another pp who would have expected this from an older more vulnerable person. It isn't normal behaviour for a healthy able 37 year old at all. Sorry I seem to have offended you so much. Have a lovely evening.

@Neighbourissuedaily you have been so patient! I thought my neighbour was bad, she came charging into my house with her shoes on last week (we have a no shoes rule) I thought she’d stop in the living room but she didn’t

I’ve never had her in my house and she even commented how she’s never been in and proceeded to charge in! I was gobsmacked! 😂

I check the ring app every time I answer the door now xx