Woken up by adult kids AGAIN.... AIBU

[rubberduck68]

My adult son still lives at home (he and his sister who is at Uni are moving in with their dad in the summer) but I just want to check if IABU. He and his GF are both early twenties, and she does stay over sometimes, which I am fine with. I have made the house rules that it's no more than three nights a week, but she's starting working at a nightclub and coming back at 3.00 am and waking me and my dog up. I have asked them both to stop, in fact I got them both up really early the last time they did it and sent her home. She did it again this week and I talked to her about it and she apologised. Last night, 2.30 am out she gets from an Uber and they are banging about downstairs! I spoke to my son who apologised. I've just asked him to send her home now, and he said I am "not very understanding." I feel awkward and uncomfortable in my own bloody home. Historically whenever I have put a boundary down with these two I am called to a meeting by them a few days later where she claims I don't like her, so I've cut that off with him today and said I won't be doing that, it's her behaviour I don't like. My son't argument is that he shouldn't have a curfew as an adult which I agree with, but I made the point that she doesn't live here! AIBU? I would never have dared behave like his in my parent's home at any age!

My stepmother used to do this, not even if I'd been out late... she would hoover the spot outside my bedroom door at 6.00 am banging the hoover against the door on a Saturday morning! Ha ha, I don't think it was just a housework moment....

I sucked it up for a while but the tiredness was overwhelming, and I think that no-one should impact another person's life like that. He's the first adult kid of mine to live with me full-time, so I just wasn't sure what was the right way to handle it, but the help on here really inspired me and I am now very perky on two nights of really good sleep!

Yes, oddly enough I put up a thread a few days ago asking for carpet recommendations, with a view to getting some really thick underlay! It's quite bare as was trying to sell last year. This whole situation has made me re-think the acoustics!

I wonder if the gf's flatmates are as fed up as you are and have requested that he doesn't stay over there as much? That was certainly the case when I was in house-shares.

Great to hear that you are getting some decent sleep OP, it's SO important for well being.

Back in they day, my adult daughter and her BF worked in a nightclub and I very rarely heard them come home. They had this thing called respect which your son and gf should both have

It certainly averted this type of situation.

I'm in the you don't like my rules or think you don't have to follow them, get steppin to your new place corner.

I think both your son and his GF are really disrespectful to you. I hope that changes with you last talk but you're going to have to be prepared to kick her out when she bops on in at 3 am and likely him too. They're entitled and nervy and the only thing that helps with that is consequences.

When your son says you don't like her, give him some straight talk. Why would you like her when she is rude and disrespectful and acts like your house is hers and disrupts your sleep most nights?

I wonder if the GF housemates have been encouraging her to stay out when she goes out for much the same reason OP doesn’t want her staying?

They’re both taking the piss. Tell your son his gf isn’t welcome anymore and if he goes into a strop tell him he can clear off as well.

When I was in my late teens I had a boyfriend who lived with his Aunt and Unce. He worked backshift most days and didn’t get home till 10:30/11pm. I visited him late at night and we would always be really careful not to make a noise and he would run me home at 2/3am (I never stayed the night, didn’t think it was appropriate as they had young children in the house). He would sometimes come to mine, again we were very quiet.
One more conversation with them warning them that unless they can keep quiet and avoid waking everyone in the early hours, you will be putting at end to her coming over after 10/11pm

You did very well in your chat with him but you have to be careful that he doesn't slide back into old habits.

No doubt the girlfriend's flatmates will start to get fed up of the two of them banging around their house at 3 am and try to push them back onto you. Don't allow it to happen.

So the dad gets rent money for his massive house and you get none? Your adult kid needs a job and start paying his way now. My 14 yo set up his own business and has his own money. We don’t charge rent as he’s still in full time education but he’s been told once out of full time ed there is rent to pay or move out.

It's not the first time it's been brought up they know

Um...

😂

I applaud you. It would be mine also should the need arise. I think boundaries have to be set.

It's your house, it should be your rules. If they are disrespectful they need to find somewhere else to live.

I get up at 5am to go to work. I am as quiet as a mouse so as to not to disturb dd3 - and that's in my own house! Entitled much!

"Not very understanding" 😂😂😂WTAF.

I'm glad you've had the chat with your son. Fingers crossed that's the end of it.

I cannot believe the two of them summoning you to a meeting so the girlfriend could examine your behaviour towards her. The absolute Audacity.

Fuck that for a game of soldiers she would of been told to piss off there and then I can't believe she has the audacity to demand a meeting in someone else's home , your son needs to throw this one back she is an entitled nightmare !!

Three nights of dreamy sleep behind me I feel like a different person. GF has not crossed the threshold, both have bolted to hers. It's bliss.

So glad you finally have been able to sleep all night x

You’re not unreasonable.

Your son and the girlfriend are though.

If your son does not want a curfew and he wants to invite guest over at anytime day or night - he needs to get his own place.

Letting them get too comfortable and allowing them to do whatever they want will mean they become long term annoyances in your house instead of short term polite house guests.

The cheek of her calling a meeting to confront you about how you run your house - id let her know she isn’t to do such things again and if she’s so concerned about what you think of her then perhaps she should respect your boundaries and your home. One day should her relationship with your son pan out and they have a home of their own I’m sure they won’t want you rocking up at any hour uninvited and bring disrespectful towards them in their home. Perhaps ask her how she would like you to respect their home ?

Id be telling her that if she’s getting off work after a time you’re comfortable with her coming around at that she needs to go home.

Tine for very strict boundaries with consequences.

Try reading all the OP's posts before adding yours maybe ?🤔🙄