AIBU to ask people not to guilt trip over on the S&B boards?

[BlackEyedFrozenPeas]

Anyone else getting a bit sick of people hijacking threads on S&B?

I have been on MN for many years. It has seen me through living in 4 other countries, through infertility, nightmare pregnancies, issues with DC, a terrible menopause, my marriage in tatters a couple of times and more. The AIBU and Relationship boards and the advice I have been given has seen me through a lot of things. As a result I now consider myself a very well informed woman.

Over the past week I have had to wait on results to see if my only remaining parent has something very nasty wrong with them.

During these times, I, and I am sure other women will take a time out, a break, and go on the Style and Beauty board. It is light relief to get away from your problems and see what's going on over there. For example, what is the latest glow product, or what trainers someone is buying. It's a mental break.

AIBU, or this could be more of a plea. Can people NOT go on there and piss on everyone chips? Yes, we know that there are issues in the world. We know that someone in a war torn country is more important than the latest Tom Ford mascara. However, can we discuss that on other boards please?

Some of us just want to escape our own sh!t and talk about something nice without being made to feel guilty about dropping a tenner on a T shirt from H&M.

AIBU?

Well cringe away and move on. There's still no need to tell the op that you're irritated by her post.

There are always posters who feel they have to respond, whether they are interested in the topic or not. Some people just cannot scroll on by, and I often wonder what these people are like in real life.
Eg: has anyone watched xyx show on Netflix yet?
First reply: no, I don't have a tv or Netflix.
Why oh why did they take the time to post that?

On S&B I find it one of the nicer boards. But at times the reading comprehension is a bit of a problem.

OP: does anyone have a suggestion for a dress for a wedding.
Cannot be green as that is the colour the bridesmaids are wearing. I am size 12, 5foot2, age 42 and would like to wear the silver strappy heels I already have Budget is tight. Nothing over £150.

First reply: it would help if you said what size you are looking for.
Second reply : You don't have to wear heels OP this isn't the 1970s.
Third reply: here is a link to a gorgeous green dress, size 8 for £400
4th reply: £150!!! I could get myself 11 dresses for that amount from the charity shop. Just think how buying new is affecting the landfill issues. You're so selfish OP.

And then hopefully some sensible posters appear

Maybe not but the Ops whole post was so sexualised ( many deleted responses/ troll hunting warning) that it was worth pointing out the issue. And it's S&B so my comments on fashionability are fine.

The skirt was really no ice as I also put in the comments.

As lots NN have noted if you aren't interested in fashion don't post. My comments on both skirt and suspenders are valid.

I didn't say that I would. You though can stop telling people that they need to move away or not comment.

Isn't that what this whole thread is about? Not derailing threads with unhelpful comments?

Honestly it would be much more effective if everyone just ignored them. They are looking for a reaction, don’t give them the satisfaction

Just different opinions then. Personally, I didn't find the original post to be excessively sexualised.

sometimes fashion and I collide and other times we’re not really speaking

This is brilliant!

And completely echoes my feelings towards fashion. Today we're not really on speaking terms but the Armani sunnies I wore to the bakers earlier tried to mediate...

YANBU OP and I think the "lipstick effect" should be linked in response to all the naysayers on S&B.

Wot no photos @Travail?

I agree OP. I do sometimes call people out on it, when they come on and say something spectacularly unhelpful like "just wear whatever you want, nobody cares". What they mean is they don't invest any effort into their appearance and are annoyed that some people do and probably look better than them as a result. But why they bother coming on to S&B I don't know.

YANBU it is exhausting.

For me S&B is frivolous and fun and indulgent. I once posted in a light hearted manner what would people spend £1000 on and honestly you’d have thought that I’d suggested stealing the money from refugees from some of the answers.

The idea was what that one thing you’ve always coveted but it got silly and I found myself justifying the whole thing.

Exactly.

Sometimes in a world that is shit, my outfit is the thing I can control.

Like a previous poster when someone died I spent a lot of time making sure I knew my funeral outfit. I couldn't control my grief, I couldn't control how I might feel at the funeral, if I made a spectacle of wild weeping, what others might say, iif people ate the sausage rolls, how many people came and if they all thought it was a terrible disservice to my family member.
I could however have a spreadsheet that made sure i had adequate food choices for people, and decide on my outfit in advance.

The same is happening to a holiday coming up in advance, I'm going with a big group where I have less control of the itinerary, and can't ask too many questions for fear of being that person. I can make sure I've packed properly by starting a packing list six months in advance

It's why people power dress for job interviews etc, you plan for and sort the things you can.

As for looking hot for your man - not only is there nothing wrong with it, it’s healthy and normal to want to do that, according to me at least.
when I met him, I was wearing no makeup and I had some shapeless trackies on. But I do like to dress up for him and see his jaw drop all the way down to the floor. I’m a sexual being, a vain one too, and I like to feel sexy. So I do, whenever I can be arsed. I love, love, love femininity, give no shit what the radfems say.

It's because women are service humans OP. And women who post on MN have almost certainly passed their last fuckable day so why on earth are they trying to make themselves look nice? What's the point? As long as there is a dishwasher that needs emptying or a child that needs feeding somewhere in the world, that should their first concern.

It's also especially worse now because we've all been brainwashed by the Be Kind propaganda. It's now our jobs to police ourselves and other women into compassioning at all waking hours. Because austerity has cut all public services it's now women's job to step in. Chop chop ladies! BE KIND and wipe up after everyone else at the food bank or hospice. The only time you should be thinking about clothes is if you're organising a uniform sale or refugee collection. If S&B was in the 80s/90s there would have been a lot fewer scolds telling us to stop worrying about shoulder pads and the Cambridge diet and get over to a Coal Not Dole march pronto.

YANBU OP. And you have absolutely no need to justify why you want nice clothes. Even if you don't give a shit about the middle east and have never donated to anything, you're allowed to buy clothes.

In fact, if more of us spent more time worrying about ourselves, making our part of the world a nicer prettier place and ignored all the attention seeking, wailing and teeth gnashing from war mongers, politicians and charitocrats, things would be a lot better on this planet. (Only half-joking)

You're welcome. 😊

I'm a bit of a lipstick fiend, (ditto nail polish,) and started various threads about it. Someone hopped on one of them and said she doesn't wear it. Good for you, and?
Is the January lipstick challenge still going? I miss that thread.

Oh God yes, that's another type of pointless poster - ones who come on a thread about dresses with "I have never worn a dress in my life". So why join the thread?!

It's akin to me marching onto the baking threads and announcing that I hate baking and have never baked a cake in my life.

Oh gosh yes, Lippies and nail polish 😍😍😍😍

I recently bought allllll the new Fenty Stix, and I’m enjoying Dior Vernis Saint-Tropez on my toes… that nail polish is like 12 years old or older and still going strong, nothing’s happened to it in all these years 🤯

Absolutely.

I have never been on the Style and Beauty topic but, for at least 3 months of the year, I regularly visit the Christmas threads. I can never understand the people who moan about Christmas on there. If you dislike Christmas then WTF are you doing on the Christmas topic.

Nope!

It's pointless.

Why you want that?

I don't play that game darling.

Although I agree with your noise.

Agree if you don’t like what people are talking about on any thread go and find another or start your own and scroll on bye

If clothes don't matter why are burkas and the Mao suit and the studied tech bro uniform such matters of fuck all?

Because clothes do matter. They matter very much.

They matter to some people more than others. But let's not pretend that no-one gives a fuck about what one wears.

The whole world gives a fuck about what one wears.

I see fashion and clothes as very political. Especially as a woman.

I see my body as a canvas. I like the shapes clothes and I make.

It's a personal art form. And it's an artwork that women have been 'allowed' to do.