AIBU to ask people not to guilt trip over on the S&B boards?

[BlackEyedFrozenPeas]

Anyone else getting a bit sick of people hijacking threads on S&B?

I have been on MN for many years. It has seen me through living in 4 other countries, through infertility, nightmare pregnancies, issues with DC, a terrible menopause, my marriage in tatters a couple of times and more. The AIBU and Relationship boards and the advice I have been given has seen me through a lot of things. As a result I now consider myself a very well informed woman.

Over the past week I have had to wait on results to see if my only remaining parent has something very nasty wrong with them.

During these times, I, and I am sure other women will take a time out, a break, and go on the Style and Beauty board. It is light relief to get away from your problems and see what's going on over there. For example, what is the latest glow product, or what trainers someone is buying. It's a mental break.

AIBU, or this could be more of a plea. Can people NOT go on there and piss on everyone chips? Yes, we know that there are issues in the world. We know that someone in a war torn country is more important than the latest Tom Ford mascara. However, can we discuss that on other boards please?

Some of us just want to escape our own sh!t and talk about something nice without being made to feel guilty about dropping a tenner on a T shirt from H&M.

AIBU?

Well if you're asking for opinions then you're going to get opinions.

If you want someone to tell you it's lovely dear, ask your mum.

I love volume, all my best outfits are voluminous.

I lark at what most people consider to be wide legged trousers. If you can't get your entire body in one leg, they're just straight.

I love trapeze dresses, cloaks and long coats. No bra ever, mannish suiting with shirts undone to below my breasts, white shoes (I fucking love white shoes and boots, not trainers though, never trainers). Gigantic sunglasses and mad hair.

Many people may consider that hideous. I'm certainly not aiming to 'flatter' myself. I want to adorn myself with joy!

I'd like to ban the 'oh god, nobody dresses up in London' crew too. Literally every fashion house has shows and flagship stores in London. They're wasting their time if 'absolutely everyone' wears wide legs and trainers to all possible occasions. Shut down Selfridges while you're at it.

But if opinions are being sought then they must be expected to be subjective.

But the answers should be to the question.

Thought I make exceptions for any negative comments on Shein and Temu. They're deserved

Yeah that was me.
The thread had got many posts deleted because the feeling was it may have been written by "Brian" getting his kicks talking about feeling "super sexy" in his suspenders.

I have often said when I don't like a dress/ shoes/outfit etc and offered alternatives.
Suspenders are no different. Although apparently looking hot for your man clearly is.🙄
As it was I said the skirt she had gone with was nice.
I still stand firm on the suspenders. Although apparently that makes me "old" ( the worse of all sins), frumpy and boring ( as opposed to"super sexy" I guess)

I dunno, I just enjoy a bit of fashion chat. I absolutely never recommend clothes. It's so personal. I'll give advice about finding your style, I could wax lyric on the subject 'til the heat death of the Universe. But I'm never going to suggest a random dress to someone.

It's a bonkers question to ask.

Suggest me an outfit?

NO!

That's never going to work. I could absolutely do that (and am frequently asked) for friends or family, but a woman I know nothing about?

How?

I understand why people ask, but you'll get such a bonkers disparate selection you'd be left more confused than when you started.

You'd be scratching your head like Stan Laurel thinking, 'Blimey, there's a lot of clothes out there aren't there?'.

Basically, it's a certain type of person who likes to make a Smug Sounding Virtue out of what is actually A Sad Necessity e.g.

"I am a nicer, more ethically and morally evolved poster who cares about serious issues on a global scale because that's just the kind of amazing, selfless person I am."

(in reality)

"I cannot afford expensive trinkets/make up and even if I could I don't have the self confidence/knowledge of how to shop for them. And even if I did buy them I know it's pointless because I have a face like a bag of spanners."

Have a look for the thread Trumpets & Benches on the style & beauty board. If I remember it was created off the back of a post that saw the original poster torn to shreds for asking for advice on what bag to spend roughly 1k on. On the original post she had such helpful suggestions like buy a bench, buy a trumpet, use a bag for life etc - generally being shamed for wanting to spend more than £2.50 on a bag.

‘If you can't get your entire body in one leg, they're just straight.’ 😂

really tickled me! Your style sounds awesome

totally agree with this thread - joy suckers and ‘I just have to give my opinion despite knocking nuff-all about the subject’ people are awful! As someone else mentioned, it’s like the people who review an Amazon product with ‘I haven’t tried it yet’ - really wtf.

oh also the staggering levels of female criticism and comment on looks - all from women about other women - whilst simultaneously claiming it’s all men who drive fashion and women’s choices.

We do at least seem to have lost the poster who on a thing finance related says ‘try living on the state pension’.

“I’m a single mum and I have a child in nursery. My wage won’t cover the childcare plus my rent. What shall I do?”

“Try living off the state pension! I didn’t even get free childcare hours when I had my children, we just made it work”

???

Yes! I saw that. Bonkers.

And GOD FORBID you wear heels.

Betrayer of women.

I just like making shapes with things I put on my body. Sometimes the shapes involve heels.

It's an art-form. You wouldn't understand.

I'm not a habitue of the S&B boards, being neither stylish nor beautiful, but your request seems entirely reasonable to me, @BlackEyedFrozenPeas.

@Travail i'm loving the sound of your style !

As someone who used to slope around central London in the late 80s chained at the waist to their best mate i appreciate a bit of individualism. However if I went out wearing no bra and a shirt open to the waist it wouldn't end well. 34H these days 😂

Its not my thing but good for you.

Otherwise we may as well just give up and wear a standard issue uniform like in North Korea.

I really enjoy S&B board sometimes, would never post about what's going on in the world, cost of living crisis, etc. because it's crass to do that.

The only time I've ever said something on the board is when posters there feel the need to put others down who don't wear X or have Y handbag. That's not on.

Otherwise, the board is great. I spend too much money when I go on any perfume thread there and the Advent calendar thread was nearly my undoing...

Of course you are not being unreasonable, it is the ignorant twats, that must lead very sad and boring lives, who are the unreasonable ones. Unfortunately, even if they read your thread, they probably won't understand what you mean, because the feeling of empathy has probably not even fleetingly stopped at them! I hope your mum or dad is better than you fear 💐

There's a perfume thread ?? Agggggggghhhhhhh

I suppose I should go and have a look for the purposes of empirical research.

Same. I'm stressing about Putin etc, wondering whether would dare try for Kaliningrad next (apparently not because NATO) AND trying to figure out why my nails are so chippy at the moment.

You really shouldn't should!.

I still have unopened advent calendars. I might never open them but, it won't stop me buying some more this year.

I was never blessed in that area! Pure sternum (even using the ever popular boob and bust measurements I'm 34B, apparently you can't be that though...or summat because everyone is a 24kk).

I'm an absolute v shape, no hips, no tits, very broad shoulders. I like it!

I wasn't asking for opinions dear, this was a thread that someone was asking for dress suggestions, multiple people suggested multiple different things only for one poster to swan in to beat ethem all for how terrible ugly and outdated they were.

Just post your own ugly suggestions and let other people post theirs.

We should probably all stop posting because this thread will start trending and then...

She didn't ask for opinions on the suspenders though, if I'm remembering rightly. Just suggestions for a nice dress/skirt to go over the top.

I also don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to "look hot for your man".

YANBU

I also don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to "look hot for your man".

Maybe not but it doesn't mean that it needs to be said either. For many women, it would be irritating. It would certainly make me cringe.