AIBU to ask people not to guilt trip over on the S&B boards?

[BlackEyedFrozenPeas]

Anyone else getting a bit sick of people hijacking threads on S&B?

I have been on MN for many years. It has seen me through living in 4 other countries, through infertility, nightmare pregnancies, issues with DC, a terrible menopause, my marriage in tatters a couple of times and more. The AIBU and Relationship boards and the advice I have been given has seen me through a lot of things. As a result I now consider myself a very well informed woman.

Over the past week I have had to wait on results to see if my only remaining parent has something very nasty wrong with them.

During these times, I, and I am sure other women will take a time out, a break, and go on the Style and Beauty board. It is light relief to get away from your problems and see what's going on over there. For example, what is the latest glow product, or what trainers someone is buying. It's a mental break.

AIBU, or this could be more of a plea. Can people NOT go on there and piss on everyone chips? Yes, we know that there are issues in the world. We know that someone in a war torn country is more important than the latest Tom Ford mascara. However, can we discuss that on other boards please?

Some of us just want to escape our own sh!t and talk about something nice without being made to feel guilty about dropping a tenner on a T shirt from H&M.

AIBU?

Strangers? You're not out the house are you?

Pretty sure that's dangerous.

Many years ago I posted on a much smaller forum where posters tended to ‘know’ each other if they had similar interests. I was going through an absolutely hellish family time and talking about it openly on there - it was saving my sanity at the time to be honest. In the middle of all this someone offered to buy me a really lovely blanket as a Christmas present. I had no experience with this kind of thing so started a thread elsewhere on the site to ask for recommendations for cashmere blanket sellers and got a totally horrible response about wanting to waste money on something like that when people had real problems in the world. Because it was a tiny site other posters immediately piled on to tell him what a prat he was being. But on MN we have none of that context so people end up being shat on all the time. It’s horrible.

The cat is currently looking very comfortable on my beautiful, ancient, cashmere blanket.

YANBU - it is annoying. There are loads of things I see in active that I have no interest in, I just scroll on by.

I don't think we'll have worked peace if I stop using tret! If we did I would happily give it up.

This is scarily true!

I agree and also like another poster wants to include the Christmas forum in this.

A while ago I asked for places that had cute wrapping paper for my dd2 stocking. I got a response stating
"I mean this kindly... it goes in the bin"

Now 1 as a rule when someone claims to mean it kindly they are aleays about to say something negative
2 I know it goes in the bin this doesn't mean I can't want something nice.

I did respond "Really??? I had no idea.. (Have you never done something nice for someone simply to make them smile)

I also received some good suggestions and found some pretty paper that did make dd2 smile a lot.

I disagree with the poster who said this is how mn is it won't change. Now I'm an oldie as I've been a member from 2000. I can state it was NOT how it was so it CAN change. Like with everything people has to want to change and unless they get called out about it they won't see the need to.

When this were all hills I sent three pairs of 7forallmankind jeans that I wasn't wearing to a poster that was struggling a bit.

That wouldn't happen now.

Do you remember the Christmas giving thing?

That was nice.

That’s a lovely thing to do. I realise I’ve made it look like it was another poster buying me the blanket though and it was in fact DH. I wouldn’t have accepted anything as generous from someone else!

Yeah I asked about a funeral outfit and got told it wasn't about me
God forbid I wanted to look nice for my own mothers funeral

But the competitive misery on here, and actually also the competitive wealth, are both destroying my will to post on MN. S&B can go both ways. I see people giving a budget and then others posting wildly more expensive (and often quite niche) options and being snotty about cheaper retailers, as much as I do people being arses about higher expenditure. There’s room for all of us to just be ourselves on here surely?

I agree. But it goes far beyond S&B.

It really does. That’s why I’m on the verge of just quitting MN.

And 'afternoon tea trays'.

Where people competed to have the best tea trays.

I think that was just before Mouldies. My oldest is 18 now, and I was preggo with him then.

Yes I loved that and the thank yous from it always heart warming

Sali Hughes is brilliant at responding to this kind of take. Whenever she did a Guardian article there would be below the line comments asking whyowhy women spend money on trivial beauty products when XYZ is happening in the world.

"Nobody looks at men’s hobbies ever and defines men by those hobbies. No one says ‘Paintballing? I bet you don’t know what’s going on in Syria’”.
www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/people/sali-hughes-of-course-you-can-be-a-feminist-and-care-about-how-you-look-1.2037157

Wrt to posts asking how people afford to get their nails done ... really?!

I'm guessing they are clumsily trying to make a point about the wealth gap?

YANBU OP, i hate chip pissing. But can i point out, for the sake of conversation ...

i see you sailing a little close to justifying spending big bucks on something for yourself because of the circumstances you got the money. Do you see?

Fuck where it came from.

An accident payout.
Great Aunt Sally popping her clogs.
Saving up your wages.
Just basic being well off enough to be able to do it.

It's money floating around in the system and will pass on through it and none of it is more worthy because of how the last person to handle it got their hands on it.

What does S & B stand for?

Gawd yes!

Don't wear a hat.

It's not about you.

Actually when my sister's v fashion husband died I took her to Dolce and Gabbana to get an amazing outfit, he loved glamour. I wore Prada and Valentino.

And when I die if people don't wear black and veils and throw themselves on top of the coffin whilst weeping and renting, I'll be very disappointed.

I desire drama.

Touchè

Yeah I agree. I was homeless for a time and I used those boards as an escape and to think of lovely things. I was happy some women got to feel the joy of feeling good about themselves.

I avoid certain threads and boards because I find them triggering. I don't need to comment on them.
People just think that everyone should be miserable if they are and it's a very unhealthy mindset.

I'm not interested in handbags.

I come here for the comedy 😂

Not as bad as when you try and discuss fashion and a load of posters swiftly appear to smugly sneer and tell you that you are a complete twat, and shouldn’t follow fashion because it’s for stupid, vacuous, awful people.

I really wish there was a separate fashion section where we can discuss different cuts of jeans we’d like to try, - without being called a cunt for no longer liking skinnies.

I have discussed different types of jeans on S and B though.

I adore clothes and it's one of the great pleasures of my life that my son and daughter both share that joy.

We love getting glammed in our own way and they both steal my clothes.

DD has gone out this afternoon wearing a pair of my Isabel Marant boots, a vintage Gaultier Jacket of mine and a Loewe bag.

I threaten her with death if she fucks them up but I like that we like.

We rifle through my wardrobe and make outfits and I indulge her terribly with clothes.

Love it!

DS nicked a black Burberry trench yesterday and a pair of Tom Ford sunnies.

But skinnies are coming back...

Repeat ad infinitum...