AIBU to ask people not to guilt trip over on the S&B boards?

[BlackEyedFrozenPeas]

Anyone else getting a bit sick of people hijacking threads on S&B?

I have been on MN for many years. It has seen me through living in 4 other countries, through infertility, nightmare pregnancies, issues with DC, a terrible menopause, my marriage in tatters a couple of times and more. The AIBU and Relationship boards and the advice I have been given has seen me through a lot of things. As a result I now consider myself a very well informed woman.

Over the past week I have had to wait on results to see if my only remaining parent has something very nasty wrong with them.

During these times, I, and I am sure other women will take a time out, a break, and go on the Style and Beauty board. It is light relief to get away from your problems and see what's going on over there. For example, what is the latest glow product, or what trainers someone is buying. It's a mental break.

AIBU, or this could be more of a plea. Can people NOT go on there and piss on everyone chips? Yes, we know that there are issues in the world. We know that someone in a war torn country is more important than the latest Tom Ford mascara. However, can we discuss that on other boards please?

Some of us just want to escape our own sh!t and talk about something nice without being made to feel guilty about dropping a tenner on a T shirt from H&M.

AIBU?

You no longer like skinnies? You c**t! 😂

Its funny because for years I was asking 'when will this bloody skinny trend be OVER! I hate it!' I wanted pleats and high waists and its taken so long that Im now at an age where I look like a short pair of curtains in flares so I'm still wearing straights.... ah well mustn't complain, just look at Gaza

What?!

Oh fack orff!

😂

You are so right, in a fug of sleep deprivation when dc were small I would often go to style and beauty for some light relief. I don’t actually care about style or beauty but it was just nice to read some non-depressing chat.

👏👏👏👏👏👏

@Travail - i applaud your funeral stance. Unless stipulated otherwise i will always wear deep black head to toe for a funeral (and minimal flesh out) no matter how close, or not, i was to the deceased.

I too want appropriate black dressing (and some wailing) for my funeral.

And then everyone can go and eat copious amounts of cake and speak fondly of me.

I don’t massively follow fashion but I like to look good in what I wear because it suits my body - sometimes fashion and I collide and other times we’re not really speaking. I don’t post at people who are keen to know what the latest thing telling them that it’s not life or death UNLESS it’s someone who seems to be tying themselves in anxious knots about it unnecessarily. Otherwise if people want to discuss what’s currently on trend then they can fill their boots so far as I’m concerned.

I think (and this is across MN) we have a lot of posters with low self esteem or confidence who take difference as an attack on them and their choices. Live and let live gets trodden on in the race to ‘hit back’.

I think I may mandate veils. For men too.

Please forgive me for being dumb @BlackEyedFrozenPeas What is the S & B board?

Style and Beauty

Yeah, it boils my piss too. You mention something by Primark or Avon you get loads of pissy posts about how you should not use these companies. Same with cosmetic companies who test on animals. Yes, I am vegetarian (well, pescatarian) but I I make my own decisions about stuff). All that finger wagging . Piss off. I am also rather shocked that people are happy to spend £££ on a blouse but remind myself it is none of my business and some people (most) earn a hell of a lot more than me!

That is why I like the board about Unexciting posts throughout the day (probably wish I had not mentioned it now as the bitter vipers who come on at night thoroughly pissed will be there!). We talk about pets, kids, transport and work woes, what we ate. Mostly not exciting things. I tend to post about losing my phones/glasses much of the time. It is a nice place. Some people post their gardens, nearest places of interest.

Do you mean the threads where someone posts that they have seen a bag they like and are wondering which colour does sections prefer?

Along comes a typical Looney Lefty who writes -

'I wouldn't spend that much on a bag! My house didn't even cost that much! I'd rather spend the money on buying a bag of Maltesers for every child in the land!'

yes, I do wonder sometimes whether people don't understand the concept of messageboards and think they have to comment on every single thread?

It's like those people who post reviews on amazon saying 'I haven't used it yet so can't say if it works or not,' or 'It was a present for someone else so don't know.'

The other irritating thing on the s&b boards is the number of people (the "you'll prise skinny jeans out of my cold dead hand-ers") who jump on to say 'Who cares what's currently in fashion, just wear what suits you!' as if this is some sort of novel, ground breaking concept only they are clever enough to have realised. Or, worse, patronisingly explaining that 'You do know that trends are just created by fashion designers and stylists to get you to spend money on new things when your old clothes are perfectly fine.' Yeah, no shit Sherlock.

As you say, I wouldn't jump on the tackroom and tell people I hate horses, or onto a thread about football to tell people how much of a waste of time I think it is...

It's quite sad, there are so many threads on MN (let alone other options for entertainment out of it) do people have literally nothing better to do than post on topics they have no interest in!

Thank you!!!

Yanbu at all.

There is unfortunately a certain type of person who sees virtue in misery. And then proceeds to piss misery over any flicker of frivolous joy. I believe it's a hangover from puritanism, with religion replaced by a.n.other all-encompassing cause - politics, or the environment usually. You see it irl to an extent but it's everywhere on the internet including on Mumsnet.

Lots of little grief-ploppers. Eg "My sister stole my favourite top and I'm pissed off" gets a response like "Just be thankful you have a sister because mine died in a horrific crochet incident " or "I can't afford tops because I have to choose between heating and eating ".

Some people won't be happy until everyone is as angry and moany as them.

I honestly think it shows a lack of maturity. The idea that we can only care about one thing at a time. I was my mum's carer for a few years. She had dementia and it was very, very stressful. I still managed to give a shit about war, famine, murder etc. But they weren't on my doorstep. My mum was. So she took priority. And, I have to say, browsing Style and Beauty was a lovely diversion from the everyday grind. I managed to care about my mum/the state of the world AND buy a pair of jeans from Marks and Spencer or a hair serum because they were recommended on here. I scroll past threads about £2000 handbags though, because that is way out of my sphere. I don't, however, jump on and have a go at people for whom expensive handbags are a realistic option.

Also, we are permitted to have our own hierarchy of things to give a shit about. It's not for someone else to decide.

Surely though, that's fair comment?

It's not the same as saying you shouldn't buy a t-shirt because starving children?

Pointing out that something is hideous is helpful!

Sex and Bondage

@Travail
But yes, the 'WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SPENDING 50P ON YOURSELF YOU PROFLIGATE NINNY' posts are ver' tedious.

Correct except that the word PROFLIGATE is not in their vocabulary.
What an irony.

Hideous is subjective though, surely?

I don't buy into the idea of 'flattering'.

Hideous appeals more.

Yes. I'm sick of the moaning on here about anyone spending money in general. I like reading about holidays, cars, clothes, beauty products etc.

I do wonder what goes through the moaning posters heads? They see a thread that includes the cost and/or item and then decide to post just to tell everyone there is a cost of living crisis and how anyone who spends money on things they enjoy is vapid and shallow.

thanks for this link, it was so interesting!

It's really quite strange when you think about it. To post purely to ask a bunch of strangers what they think about how something looks. Some will like it and some won't.

I've done it myself and will do it again no doubt. In fact i almost did it last night about a cabin bag.

The majority of posts on S&B aren't that simplistic of course. I'm just thinking out loud.

Agreed, some people just like to post irrelevant shite to make themselves feel better. Take it elsewhere.

Also, while we're on the topic please can the posters who feel the need to insult other people's suggestions and call them "Debenhams bargain bin picks" please get lost as well? I think MOST of the clothes suggested on S&B threads are hideous, but I'm not going to barge on a thread and declare this and talk about how my sense of style is obviously SO much more up to date (and then post some suggestions that wouldn't look out of place in a circus) thinking I was the editor of Vogue - because surprise surprise, we all have different tastes and likes and dislikes and what one person thinks is nice another may think looks hideous.

Yes, exactly. No one gets criticised for saying an early morning walk brings them joy. They're never jumped on for daring to find joy in life when there are children dying in Gaza.

But God forbid if you happen to find joy in your new Chanel lipstick or a nice pair of new shoes. It is so tiresome.