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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed that my dad (ds only grandpa) is only spending 8 pounds on ds first birthday present

144 replies

nocluemum · 11/05/2008 10:41

My dad has plenty of money and ds is the only and first grandchild. We live abroad and I emailed a list of presents that I thought ds would like, ranging in price from 8 to 70 pounds, thinking he would enjoy looking in ELC. He called to say that he has got the one for 8 pounds and that was it. Am really upset and dont know if I should let it slide or make something of it with him.....

OP posts:
LIZS · 11/05/2008 10:45

Let it go ... your ds won't notice ! Maybe he'd prefer to put something into an account for when he is older than buy things for the sake of it espeically if ti is hard ot get them to you. Perhaps you should have been more specific if it meant so much to you.

nametaken · 11/05/2008 10:47

YABU - £8 is plenty for a 12 month old baby. You'll be buying stuff too, right?

LMAsMummy · 11/05/2008 10:47

I would let it go, life is too short..... Hope your ds has a lovely birthday, by the way.

HappyMummyOfOne · 11/05/2008 10:47

Unless he asked for a list of presents, I'd be pretty mad that somebody had A asuumed I was buying one and B that I couldnt choose myself.

Surely you should be grateful that he has bought a present regardless of value. A 1 year old wont have any concept of presents anyway.

I hope I bring DS up to be grateful for any present, regardless of value or personal preference.

sophiewd · 11/05/2008 10:48

YABU

IAteRosemaryConleyForBreakfast · 11/05/2008 10:48

He's a year old and he won't even remember it - I really think the pricetag is irrelevant. Personally I get annoyed with family spending crazy amounts of cash on presents for my baby, who doesn't appreciate them and just wants to play with the wrappers. It's wasteful and pointless, IMO.

HappyMummyOfOne · 11/05/2008 10:48

Cant spell "it was assumed" lol

iwillNOTletthisbeatme · 11/05/2008 10:48

i think you should feel lucky he has a grandpa!

SheikYerbouti · 11/05/2008 10:49

YABU and a bit ungrateful, tbh.

It's not up to you tell your dad how much to spend on your child, regardless of how much money he has. I can see why you might bge peeved about it, but money is really not the be all and end all of everything, My kids have loved the cheapest things bought for them.

Has he got to post it to you? I would have thought a smaller present would be more practical in this instance anyway

At least he has actually bothered to buy him something - you cannot tell him how to spend his money, I'm a afraid.

lazarou · 11/05/2008 10:49

Is he normally a tightass?

hercules1 · 11/05/2008 10:50

Did he ask for a list? I'd be really peed off if I were him and would have done the same if I hadnt asked you to email me a list with prices etc.

Unfitmother · 11/05/2008 10:51

Sorry but YABU

Mercy · 11/05/2008 10:51

My dc grandparents live abroad too - the postage often works out more expensive tahn the presents themselves.

Apart from that, yabu. Your ds is only 1 - what was the £70 present btw?

ChippyMinton · 11/05/2008 10:52

YABU
Perhaps he intends to give something else, in addition to your gift idea?
One year old a) won't know any different and b) don't really need much.

ellingwoman · 11/05/2008 10:53

You thought he would enjoy looking in ELC

As a parent of young children I spent many happy hours in there. As a parent of teenagers I would rather eat my own eyeballs than go there again!

Buda · 11/05/2008 10:53

YABU. And a bit greedy tbh.

SheikYerbouti · 11/05/2008 10:53

Agree sendig a list a bbit tacky, unless requested. Tbh, I always look for the cheapest item if someone does this to me.

aDad · 11/05/2008 10:55

YABU

Sounds about right for a 1 year old from a relative.

paddingtonbear1 · 11/05/2008 10:55

sorry but I think yabu. ds will still like the present, he will have no concept of monetary value. My dad doesn't splash out big time on dd either, and he has plenty of money. He adores her though and spends time doing things with her. I think this is more important, really.

WigWamBam · 11/05/2008 10:55

Completely unreasonable. Sorry.

Maybe he thought you were being presumptuous and greedy sending a list? Particularly asking for presents ranging up to £70. I would have done.

The fact he has plenty of money is immaterial; he doesn't have to spend it on your son.

Saturn74 · 11/05/2008 10:56

Did your father ask you to email a list of prospective gifts?

I think it is rather churlish to be disappointed by the monetary value of a gift.

If he didn't send anything, that would be upsetting.

Your child is only 1 - he will have no concept of how much something costs.

Hopefully over time you will teach him that it is the thought that counts anyway?

ipanemagirl · 11/05/2008 10:57

I think you are being a little unreasonable!

I try to make myself believe that it's the thought that counts! We got married a few years ago and 2 friends gave us salad servers. I have to admit I slightly meanly thought that a bit mean given what we spent per head on guests! BUT actually what irritates me more is my very close girlfriend (and sort of best woman/witness) didn't get us anything! She's broke apparently.... but a small 'thought that counts' present would have meant I'd have forgotten it by now!!

Ideally I try (altho it's very hard sometimes) not to have any expectations whatever the perceived 'wealth' of the giver!

Quattrocento · 11/05/2008 11:00

Gosh

You're not just being unreasonable, you're being greedy and materialistic.

Is this because you feel an entitlement to your parent's money? It's weird how people feel that way.

RubySlippers · 11/05/2008 11:01

YABU

big, expensive present does not equal a more loving grandparent

lazarou · 11/05/2008 11:01

Mind you, if this is his only grandchild, you'd think he'd spend a bit more than £8.