For being rude to an old lady

[ThePerkyCoralPoet]

Doing my food shop at m&s, I was rushing to pick someone up after. I needed some jam. Lady was in the way. I said “excuse me sorry can I just grab that” she just stood there so I proceeded to reach for the jam.

She gave me the most disgusting look I have ever recieved.

So because today has been a long day I said “ I did actually say excuse me and I did actually ask you to move out of the way” to which she responded “it’s such a me first attitude” I said “you do realise you’re in a supermarket. And you don’t own the supermarket. We all have places to be and people to see darling” and I walked off.

am I missing something here. Have I not used correct supermarket etiquette

Can't get past "old lady". The ageism on here is disgusting.

Carried on faffing around and standing taking up space I imagine that's usually what people who block entire shelves are doing

Yep that’s M&S. Oh God it’s like time slows down in there. Even the cashiers take forever. I’m so impatient. Old folks (said with all respect) think they have a right to dawdle and fanny about in there to their hearts content. I don’t have that time so it’s like some mad video game where I’m dodging, reaching round, ‘Scuse me, stall while someone takes 12 mins to choose a fucking fish pie… back the salad aisle where there was a crowd around the coleslaw… bing bing home - ah now the til is on slow-mo… argghhh

Once I’m out of there I do get reflective and I’m glad old folks have somewhere they can fart about, take their time, choose nice food. It’s me that’s the problem. So what if you had a bit of old lady banter? Good for her. You had the last word. I would’ve sucked it up personally and let her have the win.

How do you know she heard you? You couldn’t wait 5 fucking seconds for your jam? “We all have people to see darling” what if she doesn’t? What if she doesn’t have anyone to see, what if you were the only person who spoke to her today and you chose to do so like she was a bit of shit in your shoe.

Hope it made you feel really good and really boosted your self esteem. Have a lovely weekend and try not to be mean to any more old ladies will you.

So your MIL is a rude old trout.
It doesn’t follow that everyone else of her generation is equally socially challenged.
Surely you can grasp this?

"Taking up space"!
Maybe you'd like everyone of a certain age to stay at home all the time, just so you don't have to acknowledge their existence?

Doubt it, everyone in my family dies young. Thankfully.

Possibly because as you get older you move more slowly - mostly because of age related deterioration. Can you run faster now than you did in your teens ? I’m 66 and the last thirty years have whizzed, so don’t worry you’ll get there and find out for yourself soon enough.

Doris Day enters thread -

%3D

Absolutely

Yabu, your jam really wasn’t that important. Do you allow your children to be as rude and would you have behaved so awfully in front of them?

Thankfully, indeed !!

You were rude, you should have waited your turn, like we teach our children!!
You are not the queen bee of the jam aisle!

I think you were rude to rush the old lady

If you encounter this behaviour often, have you considered that’s in response to you personally, and not everybody draws this sort of behaviour on themselves?
Might be worth thinking about.

I don't know why everyone has to move at lightening speed in the supermarket??

You were mean to her, not just rude.

I'd hate to imagine anyone speaking to my elderly mother like that

When you don't know people, you can't read their expressions reliably at all. She may have been startled, anxious, or justifiably irritated.

I don't think you'd have spoken to a six foot biker that way, would you? Old ladies are vulnerable. If you can't stop yourself from behaving aggressively around them, please stay away from them.

“am I missing something here. Have I not used correct supermarket etiquette” - it’s nothing to do with being in a supermarket, it is just basic manners. Do you think you behaved in an appropriate way?

As per usual.

Let me explain for you .. there's an expectation in polite society by some people that we should have extra respect for the older generation.

You were rude and I suspect you were huffing and puffing.

People do need to calm down a bit. I had some woman freaking out at me in the car park at me the other week. Pulled up in front of me bumper to bumper. It was all so bloody over the top. I wanted to tell her to calm down but she was a Tesla driver so not much point!

You weren't rude to barge past her, she had fair warning, but you were rude with your parting comment.

It’s not just older people who do this though. I was in Sainsburys and wanted something from a specific shelf. There was a man standing directly in front of it browsing away happily. Only thing was the trolley was stretched out in front of him and he had a small child holding onto his hand. He was rocking back and forth for ages and completely blocking access to the shelf for anyone else. By this time a fair queue had built up and I was about to ask him to move down when he made his choice and moved. It’s really annoying.

Whether YABU or not depends on whether you wait for the person in front of you to choose and how long you wait for.

It's also bad manners generally to inflict your squabbling and ranting on the public. People are in M&S to shop, not to hear your drama. If you can't control yourself over such a minor issue, please don't shop at busy times and consider doing it all online.