For being rude to an old lady

[ThePerkyCoralPoet]

Doing my food shop at m&s, I was rushing to pick someone up after. I needed some jam. Lady was in the way. I said “excuse me sorry can I just grab that” she just stood there so I proceeded to reach for the jam.

She gave me the most disgusting look I have ever recieved.

So because today has been a long day I said “ I did actually say excuse me and I did actually ask you to move out of the way” to which she responded “it’s such a me first attitude” I said “you do realise you’re in a supermarket. And you don’t own the supermarket. We all have places to be and people to see darling” and I walked off.

am I missing something here. Have I not used correct supermarket etiquette

@ThePerkyCoralPoet

Actually cringing for you. 😬

Did everyone in the store stop what they were doing, and clap and cheer? 🙄

Loads of ageism on this thread.

Look, older people often can't hear well, see well, balance well. They have frown lines. They often have the burden of caring for an infirm spouse. Being old can be awful.
Not always, but often.

That's why we should give a little leeway in terms of time

As for comments about older people faffing and taking up space. I mean. How dare they? Jeez.

I watched my parents through these stages, and I'm next in line. I make a real point these days of being pleasant. And you know what? It helps me have a better day.

Saying “excuse me please” doesn’t mean someone has to move. They can decline to follow your instructions. If they were there first then you should wait your turn. Why do you think you’re so much more important than someone else that you can then barge past them? I’m not surprised she gave you a look. And then you were exceedingly rude again when to be honest she was very restrained by not calling you out on your rude behaviour.

If you were really so busy and in such a hurry you couldn’t wait for the other person to move along why were you starting an argument?

I do sympathise. Waiting behind someone while they comb through 20 different types of boiled ham or rifling through the carrots looking for the perfect one.
However my bete noir is the husbands, staring into space as their wife shops, just getting in the way. This seems to be a particular issue in Lidl. I only send my husband out alone shopping for wine. He’s reasonably good at that.

I have not reads the full thread, but I think this is a reverse.

Exactly. It’s astounding how some people think that “asking politely” means an automatic bowing to their will 😁
Wait your bloody turn!

You clearly haven’t read some of the MN threads on Boomers !!

It does sound like you were a bit rude and entitled, to be honest. Also 'old lady' is really unpleasant in this context. As for needing to mention it was M&S? If I were you, I'd be grateful to have just got the Paddington stare. I'm sure she could have spent many, many minutes taking you down verbally if she'd thought you were worth it.

Darling makes it rude. Marks & Spencer‘s means your trying to show off.

I said “you do realise you’re in a supermarket. And you don’t own the supermarket. We all have places to be and people to see darling” and I walked off.

This gave me second-hand cringe. At least you provided some entertainment for other shoppers, so silver lining and all that.

When I was 19 I worked in a jam factory and M&S were looking at us becoming a supplier.
We had to come in on a Sunday (double time, wheee) and clean the place top to bottom ahead of their visit. I spent 2 hours scrubbing the feet of a sugar hopper with a toothbrush.

We didn't get the contract.

That would have upset me.. . You were in a hurry but you had time to be disgustingly nasty 🤷‍♀️.. glad it wasn't me. What's wrong with people today? Not the ladies fault you didn't give yourself enough time to do your shopping.
Something awful might have been going on in her life..

It's not only me though it's something nearly everyone in hospitality, retail etc sees and acknowledges (I literally wrote that in my comment.)

‘Darling’?!! So patronising.

It's the not knowing how long someone is going to take to chose their item, add in you know what you want, it seems fair enough to say excuse me. But you were rude. I'm also very pained by your spelling. Were you not taught I before e except after c?

To flip this, in home bargains yesterday I was behind a lady with a toddler. She loaded the till belt with about 12 - 15 items. She turned and saw I had one thing. She asked if that was all I had and I said yes. She said go ahead. I said are you sure as I'm not in a rush. She said yes. Lovely interaction with everyone happy..

Being pleasant is great but what would be actually helpful is stop faffing- supermarkets are not places to have a natter or Sunday dander.

Was she a Boomer? if so, how very dare she even be out of her multi million pound house and indulging in entitled behaviour in an M and S food hall. Good god, do these people have no self awareness ?

The 'darling' is so passive aggressive- you sound like an arse OP

Oh, give over.

As if you speak for “nearly everybody” in retail or hospitality.

Ageism is so depressing.

Old ladies in M&S are weaklings. Try that in Waitrose and the old ladies will tell you to fuck off and give you a dead arm.

(Old lady Waitrose shopper here).

No I dont speak for everyone but it's also widely accepted that if you want someone to pick the customer who is going to complain about something you've no control over whilst treating you like you are beneath them and only there to serve them.... look no further than elderly women.

YABU because you don't really want to check if you were rude. You want to boast because you think you put an older woman in her place. You've come here because you think you'll get a lot of 'Good for you hun, old women are so rude!! You put that entitled old woman in her place, you strong assertive woman you" type responses (which you will.) You weren't wrong to reach for the jam, but why people want to waste their precious life flouncing about having the last word with randoms, is beyond me.

Precisely. My 81yr old mum might have made a very deliberate point of starting a philosophical debate about this whole assertion. The OP certainly wouldn't have been able to grab her jam and hot-foot it out of the door in time to pick-up her precious guest who must not be delayed if that happened. As it is though, the OP being laughably pathetic, she'd have probably just done the Paddington stare and enjoyed the eye-rolling with every other single person in the shop too.