For being rude to an old lady

[ThePerkyCoralPoet]

Doing my food shop at m&s, I was rushing to pick someone up after. I needed some jam. Lady was in the way. I said “excuse me sorry can I just grab that” she just stood there so I proceeded to reach for the jam.

She gave me the most disgusting look I have ever recieved.

So because today has been a long day I said “ I did actually say excuse me and I did actually ask you to move out of the way” to which she responded “it’s such a me first attitude” I said “you do realise you’re in a supermarket. And you don’t own the supermarket. We all have places to be and people to see darling” and I walked off.

am I missing something here. Have I not used correct supermarket etiquette

If someone is dithering about, and obviously ignores a request to let someone past/ grab something then that's rude and I'll happily reach round them.

A lot of ifs, I know. If the lady hadn't heard OP that's a different matter.

I am not the sort that subscribes to “respect your elders”, people earn and lose respect for the content of their character, not their age. But you could’ve just waited a second or simply ignored her dirty look, this isn’t really an age thing.

There are a million valid reasons laid out for you as to why she might not have moved, or she could’ve just been rude- but was it really a big enough deal for you to confront her or to still be thinking and posting about it afterward?

@ThePerkyCoralPoet you will be older one day darling. Hope no one is rude to you.

You sound rather full of yourself darling.

Team old lady here.

You were rude, you should have waited. She has as much right to shop as you.

Oh she must not have realised how important and busy you are. Quick everyone out of the way OP has important jam purchases to make.

Going to go against the grain and say YANBU.

Based on her response I think it's more likely she did hear you the first time. So she should have just moved aside briefly.

It's totally normal to say 'excuse me, may I just nip in to grab that one thing' or whatever, when another shopper is dithering over a display. I've been both the ditherer blocking the display and the 'nipping in' person.

The ditherer just says oh of course, gives way for the other persons 5 second access, then happily goes back to their dithering. I've never experienced any issues when on either side.

It sounds like the other woman was unwilling to give way. Which was poor supermarket etiquette, rude and unnecessary. Age is no excuse.

Yes, you were rude.

You were extremely rude and temind me of the woman we met at the airport flying to London. Rushing for hetca plane and woman rushing with a pram.asked /told my mum(80,yrs old) to move my mum didn't here and neither did I. We were walking arm in arm. She clipped my poor mum on the ankle and barged past her. Hurt my mum no apology. Shouted I told her to move. Turned out she was on the same plane as us and had plenty time. I hate selfish arrogant arses . We said nothing as I didn't want to upset mum further and we're not scumbags. I wanted jam... jeezo

Old lady is such an ageist way to describe someone. From her point of view she may not have heard you. It would have been more considerate to wait.

Why did you say "darling"?

Jam on top of thick butter? Eww

You were rude in the way you spoke to her. There was no need to mention her age. Have you considered, she might not have heard you, was talking her time because she had eyesight issues, or was just thinking to herself if she needed something. You could just have waited for her to move on.

Explain yourself, Blackadder, before I have you shot for being rude to an old lady.

I think it’s fine you reached for what you needed when she didn’t move after you asked (assuming you said it loud enough for her to hear). But you should have just left it there and ignored the look.

Yeah, I would say that you were pretty rude and dealt with that poorly :/. You went from 0-100.

She may not have heard you asking her to move.

I think it's a pretty disrespectful way to talk to anyone like that, and then calling her 'darling'.. no, I wouldn't say you dealt with this well.

Try a Community Shop,these manners will be positively aristocratic!!!

You're very touchy and condescending.

You are coming across as a bit unpleasant to be honest.

Have I not used correct supermarket etiquette

No. You wait your turn for her to finish what she was doing.
WTH should she immediately jump out of your way? Just because you said ‘excuse me’ doesn’t mean that actually entitles you to make her stop what she was doing for your benefit.

I constantly have to ask people to move in supermarkets, standing with the length of the trolley blocking 4ft of shelving while they check a list or are texting or debating with partner at the other end of the trolley. I agree the OP was rude with the "darling" but not to ask her to move in the first place.

Did you account for processing speed and ability to engage brain and body before you grabbed your jam..?

Also, surely a big old smile is passive aggressive enough to have scratched that itch for you

Wow. You started off rude and escalated the rudeness. Your initial action was rude, just wait. I mean asking someone to move is ok but if it doesn’t happen then reaching past someone is rude.

And then you spoke to her really rudely. And calling her “old” on here is also quite rude.

you sound delightful, darling.

If it was strawberry Bonne Maman you are def out of order.