For being rude to an old lady

[ThePerkyCoralPoet]

Doing my food shop at m&s, I was rushing to pick someone up after. I needed some jam. Lady was in the way. I said “excuse me sorry can I just grab that” she just stood there so I proceeded to reach for the jam.

She gave me the most disgusting look I have ever recieved.

So because today has been a long day I said “ I did actually say excuse me and I did actually ask you to move out of the way” to which she responded “it’s such a me first attitude” I said “you do realise you’re in a supermarket. And you don’t own the supermarket. We all have places to be and people to see darling” and I walked off.

am I missing something here. Have I not used correct supermarket etiquette

I think if someone is in your way in the supermarket, you either 1) wait without comment if you have the time or 2) ask someone to move AND wait until they acknowledge you need them to move. You do not just lean across them.

Maybe for some people, it is? If they're lonely, it might be the only human interaction they get. If they are a bit confused or forgetful, maybe they need a bit of thinking time. Maybe they aren't too steady on their feet and it takes them a while to move along. Maybe they are in pain or have had something terrible happen to them. It's a shame some people are so lacking in empathy and can't imagine that one day, they might need someone to show patience and kindness towards them.

Sadly there's probably no point in reporting it. It won't get taken down.

You're right. I have reported it twice, and yet it's still here. So are many vile comments (and I have reported several of them too.) On Mumsnet in general, I see some ageist remarks deleted but not others, and it's annoying. Such inconsistency!

As a pp said, Mumsnet tell you to challenge it on the thread sometimes when you report it, yet I bet if I made an ageist comment it would be deleted, and my account would be suspended!

Of course it wont, and it shouldnt.

Not when so many people are posting on a thread about teenagers being selfish, thoughtless, scatter brained and clueless.

If this thread is ageist then so is that one and no one is demanding that be taken down.

Ageism is to judge or discriminate on the basis of age, and both threads tick that box, so why is it that only threads about older people are considered offensive? Perhaps because most of us are closer to old age than teen age?

MN is becoming the M&S of chat forums, because it is full of women of a certain age and income bracket who have decided that their way is the right way and will look down in disgust on anyone who doesnt fit their view.

Editted because submitted too soon.

I agree.

I'm elderly and have to say I find most younger people very pleasant and courteous, often more so than 'oldies' who often seem to think they can say and do as they like.

Most of us are not like that though and the lady in the supermarket mentioned by the op only gave a look, said nothing. The op's comment was horrible, she should be ashamed.

Yes I think this is rude on your behalf Surely nobody is in that much rush to start an argument in an aisle?

You really think calling teens hilariously scatterbrained is at all comparable to that post??

Did you say please? I get irritated by people who just say “excuse me” which is an imperative- an order like “give me”. I don’t respond to orders. I just say “what’s the magic word?”

Yes I do.

Because ageism is ageism.

You cant say that one is and another isnt just because it suits you and you find one of them funny and the other not.

Either moaning/laughing/taking the piss/getting angry based purely on someones age is ok, or it isnt.

If its not ok to say "some elderly people are selfish self entitled thoughtless arseholes" then it isnt ok to say the same about teenagers. Because both of those observations have their basis in the age of the people concerned, which is ageist.

And before anyone mentions age related cognitive functions.... it is scientifically proven that teenagers go through massive neurological changes that affect their thinking and behaviour and they cant help it anymore than a person with an ageing brain can.

@PyongyangKipperbang I never see anywhere NEAR the amount of hatred and vitriol aimed at younger people as I do older people (on here.) Hardly ANYthing is said about the young/teenagers. There are ageist babyboomer-bashing/elderly person bashing threads on here every week. Loads of them! I rarely see a thread bashing the young/teenagers!

You're deluded if you think the hate and vitriol towards the young is anywhere NEAR as bad as it is towards older people. (On Mumsnet.)

did I say it was?

I am merely pointing out the double standard.

Errr, yeah you pretty much did!

Don't start back peddling!

You said it was directly comparible 🤷🏻‍♀️

Had I encountered the self-important, "We all have places to be and people to see darling” OP, I would have smiled wryly.

You see, it's very possible that this lady and others like her, paved the career path for her to be so busy. They didn't have employment protection laws as she so enjoys now, back then either.
Think on next time OP.

I hope those of you on here who would feel like the OP never get old or ill, deaf or blind, lose a partner or best friend, face cancer treatment or be so short of money they have to take time to choose their food in supermarkets. One day you might know what it's like.

I thought like you when I was about 14. I grew up though.

If someone said that to me, I'm not sure I'd be able to keep from laughing. I'm sure my amusement would show on my face at least. It's just such odd behaviour.

You sound very unpleasant to say that to anyone and you sound proud of it. I cringed at the darling 🤨

You were rude, if she was actively choosing something from the shelf then you should have waited, why should she stop and stand back so you could push in? If she was blocking the shelf doing something else then fair enough so say excuse me, still bloody rude to shove your way past though if she didn't move fast enough for you.
Your bing in a hurry does not give you priority over someone who was there first

You could have totally ruined her day, all because your day was shit.
she should have granny kicked your arse into the bloody jam

So you should have waited until she had finished. Why should she stop what she is doing and stand back so you can push in?
You were mannerless to push in. Downright rude in what you said.

💯

Asking her to move out of the way????

Yes that’s rude. She was there first and was presumably looking at the shelf or choosing her preferred jam.

Just because you were in a hurry and she is old doesn’t mean she had to move out of your way.

You were rude. You should have waited instead of assuming she would just move out of your way because you were in a hurry.

She was doing her shopping. Your shopping was not more important. She was there first.

You were rude and condescending. Do you normally behave like this?