For being rude to an old lady

[ThePerkyCoralPoet]

Doing my food shop at m&s, I was rushing to pick someone up after. I needed some jam. Lady was in the way. I said “excuse me sorry can I just grab that” she just stood there so I proceeded to reach for the jam.

She gave me the most disgusting look I have ever recieved.

So because today has been a long day I said “ I did actually say excuse me and I did actually ask you to move out of the way” to which she responded “it’s such a me first attitude” I said “you do realise you’re in a supermarket. And you don’t own the supermarket. We all have places to be and people to see darling” and I walked off.

am I missing something here. Have I not used correct supermarket etiquette

Plum obviously. A nice tart plum jam is perfect.

So busy you had time to register the looknthe woman gave you, patronise her and have a little rant?

You're the problem "darling"

If -

1. she wasn't reaching for the produce herself or "actively" shopping that shelf
2. she 100% definitely heard you say excuse me
3. your excuse me was genuinely warm and polite and not passive aggressive
4. she unequivocally gave you a look of pure disgust

... then YANBU, but the "darling" was uncalled for.

Supermarket is a shared space, and if you are taking your time to decide and other shoppers are in a hurry, then the polite thing to do is make space for them to grab the item they need if they ask you nicely.

Oh, I do believe in calling arseholes out. No problem with that. But giving a lecture after getting a dirty look for reaching across is the arsehole move, IMO. You got your jam, maybe got the satisfaction of irritating the woman if that is the sort of thing that satisfies you. Move on. You can default to kind without being a doormat.

This is why I don't go grocery shopping any more, I just get deliveries, I got really sick of rude self important people, assuming that because I am older, I have to scurry out of their way. I got the sense that as #magnastorm says I did not have the right to 'stand in the fucking way'. I can't move as quickly as I did when I was in my 40s and working full time, but even then I didn't think I had the right to be as rude as perkyfuckingpoet!
I do all my shopping online now, local social media posts say we should use our high streets or we will lose them, and think of all the lovely shops going out of business!

She'll find plenty of them. 😡

M&S do a rather nice damson and plum jam actually that is lush on fresh tiger bread with butter. Yum

Because ageism isn't automatically addressed on here. The moderators often tell you to challenge ageism on the thread.

I think I've met you. In the early days of lockdown when things were pretty scary and we were all supposed to be keeping 2m apart, I suspect that you were the woman ten years younger than me who, while I was taking a quick look to see what yoghurt was available reached right across me so close she rubbed her arm across my face and I felt her breath in my ear. At that second the tannoy reminded everyone to keep well away from each other, so I asked 'what about 2m space don't you understand?' And she sneered at me and said 'If you're so old and scared to go out maybe you should get a young person to do your shopping for you.'

If it wasn't you then there's another entitled ageist a*hole just like you round here.

You were rude but tbh I think rudeness is an appropriate response to someone intentionally ignoring you, remaining in your way when you've asked politely and then giving you a dirty look.

I hate going to the supermarket because of all the browsers who seem to be completely unaware or unbothered that they are in the way, so inconsiderate!

The two aren’t mutually exclusive. You can be in the way of everyone else in a selfish way and still be shopping. People who block the aisle with their trolleys, people who stand too close to the shelves so that no one else can reach things.

YABU perhaps the lady concerned has a hearing problem so there was no need to be so rude and entitled Anyway older people need to shop, younger people will get old. Also saying you do realise this is a supermarket to another customer doing her shopping is extremely rude, I somehow don't think you'd address a younger person like that as a suitable retort would be made to you.

‘Darling’? Patronising.

I have a condition where I can literally freeze and it takes me a while to get the message from my brain to my feet. I hope that I don’t cross you in the aisles.

I think you were rude.

You might have asked nicely but as she didn’t respond and give you permission to go in you shouldn’t have. Instead you should have waited.

you can’t just get ahead of people by asking nicely. It’s a question so needs an answer.

your follow up response was very rude.

I doubt if she'd have spoken like that to a large, tall man either. Just to someone more vulnerable than she is.

Yes. You were, frankly, chavvy.

Quite. An older woman - fair game.

Bullies are generally cowards.

Blackcurrant, obviously.

@BatchCookBabe "Absolutely vile. Reported. In fact I have reported this whole vile ageist misogynist thread. It's disgusting."

Me too. Sadly, ageism is still considered acceptable on here.

Can’t see the point in getting worked up about this. It was just one of life’s little irritations that happen all the time.
Be kinder to yourself and others in future.
And never take your frustrations out on others.

You were harsh with the sarcasm and in calling her darling. You could have said it nicely, whilst still getting your point across.

Why did you feel the need to say the horribly patronising "darling"?