For being rude to an old lady

[ThePerkyCoralPoet]

Doing my food shop at m&s, I was rushing to pick someone up after. I needed some jam. Lady was in the way. I said “excuse me sorry can I just grab that” she just stood there so I proceeded to reach for the jam.

She gave me the most disgusting look I have ever recieved.

So because today has been a long day I said “ I did actually say excuse me and I did actually ask you to move out of the way” to which she responded “it’s such a me first attitude” I said “you do realise you’re in a supermarket. And you don’t own the supermarket. We all have places to be and people to see darling” and I walked off.

am I missing something here. Have I not used correct supermarket etiquette

I think you were rude and there was no need to reply back in the way that you did. My dad can’t hear well and my mum has limited vision. There are many reasons why she may not of heard you and if she did not be able to react at the speed you wanted. Clearly the fact you were in rush in your mind was the priority but it really wasn’t.

I think she was rude not to move and you were rude to make the comments you did afterwards. Best response to her glaring is a sweet smile.

I agree with what some have said about having patience to wait, however my local supermarket had predominantly retired customers and if you wait for each one you would literally be there hours. It's not hard to step back slightly or move your trolley so someone wanting something specific can grab it and go, whilst you endlessly peruse the shelves. Some people literally have nothing else to do.

Have a natter, I am all for a natter!

But dont do it with two couples stopping with their trolleys for a "ooh havent seen you since so and so's wedding...." and full ten year catch up, so they completely block the fucking aisle and then act outraged when someone asks to get through. Or do it standing in front of the cheese section on the chiller aisle so no one can just grab their cheddar.

Its not about what they do, its about the total lack of self awareness or consideration for others while they are doing it that is the issue!

I shoot in and out of M&S foodhall to get lunch every day. I have to run the gauntlet of the whole main shop before getting to the foodhall and I do get that the dithering people bimbling about can be irritating. And yes, I accept the majority are over a certain age.

Only today I was gritting my teeth and thinking “bloody hell is it pension day, why are there so many old people 3 abreast dragging Nora Batty trolleys behind them”.

difference is I keep my thoughts to my self, smile as I try and get past people, if I have to wait then I wait. I would never be so rude to let any irritation show and I try and tell myself I need to not get irritated by being held up.

It's generally best to be kind. You don't know what someone is going through. For all you knew she'd just lost someone close to her, she had medical issues that were giving her grief that day, or something else. I wouldn't want to make someone's already challenging day harder.

🤣

What was she doing when you said excuse me? If she was browsing or reaching for items you wait. Only if she was stood there doing nothing/waiting for someone should you ask her to move.

And your witty retort was poor (if it really happened and isn't just what you wish you said)

Nah, raspberry trumps strawberry.

You would not literally be there hours. What an exaggeration.

Yeah so ugly that I asked her politely with an “excuse me please”

But you weren't asking, you were telling her to get out of the way. Asking allows a person to say no.

Absolutely vile. Reported. In fact I have reported this whole vile ageist misogynist thread. It's disgusting.

So you were far too busy to wait 5 seconds to reach the jam, but you had plenty of time to stop and give a pretentious mini lecture to a woman who didn't get out of your way immediately upon request.

You were rude and entitled, yes.

But why does that only seem to work one way?

Why does having a bad day excuse other peoples bad behaviour but not mine?

If I had posted on here that my mother had had another seizure on the same day my father had another fall, that my daughter was really ill with flu and I was worried about my job security (all of which happened just over a week ago), so I did what the woman in the OP did because fuck everyone else, I would have had my arse handed to me. "I dont care that she wanted her fucking jam, why couldnt she have just waited?!"

Seems like "be kind" is a stick to beat basically good people with to excuse the bad behaviour of arseholes because no one likes an awkward situation to be caused by calling the arseholes out.

I don't think you were being rude op. It was probably obvious you were under pressure and you said 'excuse me'. You didnt push past her, you reached around her to get what you wanted. That wouldn't have bothered me if I was her.
Some people are just nasty. I just wouldn't react to her bitchy face as you're not going to change her. Just move on.

As is happening more and more often these days, this was a case of two rude people coming head to head.

Five pages gone and we have yet to ask the obvious question: did you take the last raspberry/ black cherry/ strawberry jam, OP?

@BatchCookBabe thank you. I'd missed that comment.
Vile vile vile.

And not too busy now to come on MN and trawl for fellow ageists expecting justification.

I’d have done the same, OP…

Gross. You not her.

This. ^ Inexplicably the comment is still there.

Why ask if you are so sure you were right in this instance? I’m most definitely in the YABU opinion. Rude, impatient and entitled.

“Probably obvious you were under pressure”

How?

Was the OP dressed in their theatre scrubs with a phone clamped to their ear telling the theatre staff to put the patient under and prepare the transplant heart because the OP was on her way but just picking up a few bits first?

Was the OP visibly pregnant with triplets and in the first stage of Labour, dripping over MS tiles?

Was the OP dressed in a striped jumper and carrying a bag marked swag?

Or did the OP have a big badge saying “Entitled”

She didn't stop at 'excuse me.' It was followed by an entitled woman-child strop that would've left any right thinking person aghast and embarrassed for her. Unless the OP is 10, I'm sure there were exchanges among the mortified customers about what a ludicrous, crass and entitled 'Karen' she is. Also, leaning into someone's space aggressively just because they haven't jumped to your tune is just so, so wrong. Jam or no jam.

They are nowhere NEAR as good as St Dalfour, next in the hierarchy and tying for third place would be Tiptree or Hawkshead. If Hawkshead would produce a seedless version of their raspberry and vanilla though.....