Fuming with SIL

[Potkettlepea]

So yesterday my DH and our two DD went around to my MILs (SIL lives there has no children.) When we arrived everything was good, they had just finished eating dinner and had made a cuppa, so I went into the kitchen to make one for me and DH. Everything was fine until my eldest daughter (aged 2) dropped a date on the carpet to which she was told by her dad to pick it up and to be careful. SIL snaps "she's going to make a mess" gets up and walks into the other room.
For context - I am very aware of the mess young kids can make so I ALWAYS clean u after them and correct their behaviour when at our own home and more so at somebody else's.
Anyway she came back in and had an obvious cob on. She went into the kitchen to wash the dishes and my eldest followed her. When they came back in she had got DD a little glass of water. DD was trying to climb on the pouffe to sit to drink her water all while SIL was holding the water. As she's climbing up SIL says "do you want your water DD says yes and is still climbing on the pouffe SIL asks her again within seconds DD doesn't reply as she's still trying to climb on the pouffe. SIL swings open the kitchen door and puts the water on the counter. DD gets on the pouffe and asks where the water is, SIL ignores her. DD asks again and was ignored. She asks about 3rd time to which SIL says "did you want it you didn't answer me" then storms back into the kitchen to get the water and gives her it. DD drinks the water and then tries to give her it to put high up so that her younger sister can't reach it. SIL says just put it next to the TV so you can reach it bla bla bla.
Just to add - i didn't interject at any point because I wanted to see how the situation panned out and to see how SIL behaves with my kids when she thinks nobody is listening/watching.

DH was speaking to his mum so didn't hear any of this.

Anyway I was obviously fuming, I've woke up this morning fuming even more. So my question is going forward what do I do? In all honesty I don't want to go to someone's house who treat my kids as an inconvenience and IMO are just rude to them, on the other hand I want a similar situation to happen so I am in a position to interject so SIL knows I know how she can be with my kids.

WWUD in this situation?
AIBU - Yes your a touchy mum
YANBU - I'd be fuming too

You’re a touchy mum.

It’s all a bit of a non-issue. I’d hate to see how “fuming” you are when something serious actually happens.

I wouldn't fuming. I'd think she was slightly impatient with a two year old, but then I wouldn't give it another thought.

How old is SIL? Do you visit a lot?
To be honest, I don't understand why you didn't step in and take the water from her or help DD to sit on the pouffe.
To be fuming about this the next day seems ridiculous unless there is a back story.

I wouldn’t be fuming but in your shoes I would think your SIL seems very impatient and not very kind at all. I wouldn’t like that behaviour at all with my kids either OP.

You didn't interject at all, and sat there, listening, and quietly getting yourself raging about it.

This is on you tbh.

She sounds a bit impatient, or maybe not that experienced with kids, enough of an issue for a 2 second eye roll, but not enough of an issue to be seething for hours and hours.

Okay, so in my opinion, there's nothing to be fuming about today. It's making a bit of a mountain out of a mole Hill.

Your visiting your PIL, not her.

She sounds like she has no experience with two-year-olds and as she doesn't have any of her own children that's not really surprising. I just roll my eyes a lot and step in. She doesn't sound like the kind of person I would voluntarily leave my children with, but she sounds clueless not intentionally nasty.

I think the SIL sounds a right cow!

Too much drama. It was a non event. 🤷‍♀️

This sounds like a totally normal family interaction. If you've woken up fuming over it then I'd say this is a you issue.

I don’t think you need to be fuming. SIL just sounds like she’s a bit impatient and not very experienced with little kids. Unless she’s expected to be looking after them or something then it’s your job to step in and parent them how you want.

This is just such a bizzare scenario to be “fuming” about and days after the fact too.

You’ve over reacted.

do you like your sil?

Your SIL sounds rather exasperated and impatient with your 2 year old. Is she always there when you visit your PILs? If you invited your PILs to come to your house instead, would they bring SIL with them?

She doesnt have kids and you expect her to know how to act with them?
Did anyone help her with the washing up or do you all just sit around drinking tea whilst she cracks on?

You hate your sil and she knows it

Nothing happened! I don't see a problem here

Your going to give yourself a headache OP that's not really required.

Your SIL just sounds impatient. You sat and listened to how she dealt with it rather than just dealing with it yourself. Unless there was a reason behind needing to know how she would deal with this situation I would have just intervened and either popped DD on the pouffe or hold the water for her.

I don't think you need to do anything further other than deal with your feelings over it. It's not worth getting in a tizzy!

My SIL once had a go at my DH for not telling my SS off for spilling a drink and expecting everyone else to clean up and tell him off for him. My DH was so angry with her we left 😳 I told SS off so I thought it was dealt with but my SIL was adament she wanted DH to tell him off
Sometimes families get that way! Funnily enough SIL has no children either but thinks she can dish out the advice and knows better!

Yup. total and complete non issue and the OP carried it over to the next day? Get a grip,OP YABU.

Ok to answer some questions.
I usually have no issues with SIL the odd thing that can annoy me is when my DD speaks to her and she acts as though she doesnt know what shes saying (eventhough nobody else has a problem knowing what she says, so ill tell her what shes telling her ect.) As I mentioned i usually interject situations before anything happens.
There has been times where she's been a bit snappy with her and again I've obviously parented my daughter and interjected beforehand.
Maybe "fuming" is a bit dramatic on my part, if say I'm more upset with the situation it's almost as though she took her frustration out on a 2 year old and surly as an adult she should know better.
The reason why I sat back and listened is because I wanted to see how she is with my kids when she thinks nobody is listening. Otherwise from when my DD was trying to sit on the pouffe I would have picked her up and put her on myself.
SIL is 38 years old.

I don't see what the problem is.

Well considering she's a primary school teacher one would think she knows how to be around kids?

She sounds a little impatient but it's not her kid so she isn't used to what to expect and probably doesn't think about things like putting drinks higher,or needing time to concentrate on getting up on her seat. As I understand it she wasn't babysitting your child so why would you just sit and watch rather than step in and take the drink yourself? Sounds like sil might have been irritated age was running round after the kids.

It's not worth fuming over, but maybe note that sil doesn't seem keen to be a fun hands on aunt and don't expect it of her.

Your update didn’t help you.

Frankly a lot of the time few people understand 2 year olds except their parents. Thats a really weird thing to annoy you, why would you assume it’s an act?