There is no dignity in alcoholism

[Emerald0897]

And I'm fucking tired of the selfishness of it. AIBU?

Old guy on the tube today, totally reeking of alcohol, staggering everywhere and then actually exposing himself in order to piss all around the place, so everyone nearby had to scarper because it was actually in danger of soaking people. Utterly disgusting. He then fell out of the doors onto the platform at the next station.

It's been reported to TFL staff and the British Transport Police.

I've had two other alcoholics in my extended family, both of whom have caused massive disruption.

I know we are supposed to have pity for people's mental health issues but honestly, the impact on others is just awful. It's so antisocial.

I don't feel pity for the guy today. I feel utter disgust that he showed everyone his penis, and thankful my kids weren't with me.

AIBU?

I wouldn't ever make a blanket statement like that. There's a channel called Soft White Underbelly that interviews mainly homeless alcoholics and addicts, and they all have unimaginably horrific life stories.

Walk a mile in the shoes of an addict and then pass judgement. Nobody knows what life experiences brought him to that. I'm confident he didn't just one day wake up and make that his choice in life.

So it's fine that he was just exposing himself in public?

Hopefully someone checked him over and helped him after he fell on the platform.

Are your pearls OK? You're clutching them pretty hard.

No of course it's not fine. But there are myriad reasons for addiction and it's not because people like to get their cock out on the Tube. I appreciate you've experience of alcoholism in your extended family and as a result, presumably, have a bit of compassion fatigue. But I think you're being unreasonable.

Last I checked, it was a crime to get your penis out in public.

Of course it's not, and the police should deal with it.

If he was old, ravaged by alcohol, years of self neglect, mental and physical health problems he probably didn't even realise he was "exposing" himself deliberately.

Of course it's not OK. And I really get it, I have witnessed awful awful things in my direct family due to alcoholism.

But have some empathy, there is no one who chooses to be an addict and it is a dreadful illness.

You're right, I probably do have compassion fatigue. I won't go into the backstory as it's too long but... yeah.

But honestly, I narrowly avoided getting pissed on by a strange man and I am thankful I didn't have my 10 and 11 year old daughters with me.

No one thinks there’s any dignity in addiction. It’s debasing, debilitating and destroys lives.
Everyone knows this. Even addicts know this, although plenty are in denial that they themselves are addicted.

You’re not exactly introducing a hot take, are you?

Its a complex issue. None of us know his back story. It could be some tragic abuse story or it could simply be hes addicted to it. Its difficult to watch and agree people dont want to see this in public. Whats the answer to this?

So you want him fined or put in a cell overnight?

I know we are supposed to have pity for people's mental health issues but honestly, the impact on others is just awful

I don't see that those are mutually exclusive. I'm sure in that man's life, if you go back however many years and tell him this is what he ends up like, he'd be horrified. I pity anyone who ends up like that. That doesn't mean I don't also think it's horribly antisocial and has an awful effect on those around, not just close family, but passing strangers like you.

'' It's not an offence to be naked in public in England and Wales but it does become an offence if it can be proved the person stripped off with the intention to upset and shock. The complainant has to prove this. ''

There's been a male nudist walking around in my town for the last 15 years.
It's not a crime.

Yeah but at what point does it become inexcusable? You can't really justify certain behaviours by saying 'oh well, he's old and drunk'... doesn't mean it's ok for everyone else to have to deal with the consequences.

Why not accept you are angry with the alcoholic members of your family rather than directing your ire at a stranger who hit rock bottom?

Oh, we all know that.

Whether or not their unimaginably horrific life stories bear any relation to what actually happened, though, isn't guaranteed.

I wasn't aware I was required to be introducing a 'hot take'.

@Emerald0897 I get it, it's hard to be sympathetic at times when you feel like they're doing it to themselves. But you don't know this man's story, you don't know the road that took him there.

Might it be worth discussing with your daughters and reflecting on your own response to it? The world is on fire and life is really hard for everyone. It's even easier, in those circumstances, to forget someone's humanity when they just don't seem to be trying.

So what do you suggest we, the government, justice system, social services, health system and benefits system should do to help everyone concerned?

Errrr... I am. But I am also angry at the strange man getting his dick out in public and pissing at people.

What you witnessed wasn't pleasant op.

But I reckon most alcoholics are living in their own misery at home rather than being outside causing issues like this.

Of course it isn't fine, but people who are alcoholics are ill.

You can feel pity for people whilst also thinking they are doing the wrong thing.

Being very harsh towards people is a psychological protection. If your children were there he may have upset them, but they were not there, so that's fortunate. You were presumably affected by the alcoholism in your past/family, so I understand this may be a difficult area for you.