Why do some parents not engage with school?! Asking as a teacher!

[Purpleturtle43]

I teach a Y1 class and have been a teacher for 20 years. Never have I experienced a class where parents are so unsupportive with regards to homework and providing what they need for class!

The majority of kids don't do their homework or do a really poor job of it. Most days when I ask the children to bring their reading books out at least 5 don't have them despite parents being told weekly the children need their books in school every day as we do daily reading. Many children also so they don't read their reading books at home.

Many parents don't provide their children when the necessary stuff for school for example pencils, indoor shoes, gym kits etc. meaning so much time is spent searching for spare things and we don't have enough supplies to go around.

I am a parent of 3 school aged children and totally understand the struggle, believe me the last thing I feel like doing when I get home all day from teaching kids is to do homework with my own but I always make sure it's done and kids have what they need for school.

I am just getting to the point where I wonder why I am bothering. It takes ages to look out reading books and to prepare homework and upload it online, it all just feels like a big waste of time.

If you don't engage with school can I ask why to give me some insight so I can think of some strategies that may work. I teach in an affluent area so money isn't usually a problem and the school I work in is very mindful of not asking for much, just the basics and we would definitely provide assistance when required.

I don't believe 5 year olds need homework or spelling tests so I wouldn't engage in that.

Reading is important but it sounds like the parents at your school are being bombarded with too many requests - pencils and spare shoes and homework etc - so the reading is being overlooked.

Drop all the unnecessary stuff and focus on the reading.
Are the books interesting and engaging or is it a dead boring rigid scheme?

Sadly lots of parents just don't give a shit about their kids education.

I often wonder how children who have been taught to disregard primary school cope in high school and studying for exams.

I think many parents are now recognising that the education system in our country is circling the drain and have given up.

I'm not sure the quality of education has improved much tbh.

They don’t.

Not all children pass all subjects. It’s that simple.

Have you specifically let parents know that they have to formally opt out of homework?

OP … many parents are answering your question.

Parents know best. They have all the research to support why reading & spelling and homework are bad and ineffective. The parents too tired, too poor or been let down. Etc

OP, keeping doing what you do because there’s a few who are interested in supporting their children. Do it for them.

Though the children who have parents who don’t support, probably don’t understand why they are always unprepared. Sad for them.

I have a Y1 child. We do spellings every week. We read three books every week (most kids get two but my DC is an advanced reader - finished the infant reading scheme).

There is no way on earth that I am enforcing homework, too. Homework at this age is ridiculous. We do educational trips and teach them about all sorts of subjects and encourage interests. Homework? Where half of the mark is basically about us, and how engaged WE are after our 37+ hour week EACH and looking after another younger DC?

Nah. You're alright.

Which half?

The first half. Looking down your nose at parents isn't a good look.

I’m a teacher and don’t why this is happening either. I understand we’re all tired and busy but engaging with school is basic parenting

You definitely need to tell parents that they can formally opt out and you will stop setting homework.

DS1, now 15, never did a single piece of homework in primary, and now conscientiously sits down to do his homework and revise every night. The difference is that it's always been his responsibility to do his homework (and knowing how fiendishly oppositional he is, had I ever pressured him to do homework it would have been counterproductive).

My impression from my university children's education was they did absolutely fine at secondary and later university. Not a big difference.
Dd2 is still in primary school and I must say that school's expections to parents have rised to bonkers level over the years.

I don’t see this tbf.

Im a 70’s kid who went to primary in the 80’s. None of our parents made us do homework. We all
just played and mucked about at home.

One thing that IS different between me and my kids is that I chose to do extra stuff. I always went the extra mile on projects. Did homework workout being asked.

i think in many ways the 80’s education system helped raise resilient and self motivated kids. I don’t see that now. Though I went to school in Scotland and now live in England

Former teacher here - just a thought but it worked for me, I had a list of the children's names near the door and the children got a tick for reading at home, if they got 3 ticks in a week a smelly sticker, 5 times was a small treat such as handing out the books for a week or whatever works for you. With the homework, if it wasn't done at home they had to do it one break. Spellings we made up different games to play at breaktimes to learn the words - hope this helps even if it's just a little x

Show me evidence that homework is beneficial at primary age and I'll make an effort to do it with my kids. I read with them but anything else we only do if they want to. It's hard to find the time and other activities (sports, music, beavers/cubs...) and spending time outdoors are much more beneficial in my opinion. Kids also need downtime. We're in Scotland so the education system is a little different here but none of my kids' teachers (7 so far between the two of them) have had an issue with them not doing homework. Those I have spoken to say they only set it because some parents want it!

In terms of sending things my kids need... pens pencils etc are all provided by the school. Kids can take a pencil case if they want but most don't. I would send one if they needed it. Anything they do take can be left in a tray at school so they wouldn't have to remember it every day. They are provided with a book bag which has their reading books and goes back and forth with them every day. We aren't asked to send extra footwear, just to make sure they have weather appropriate clothing which I do. Kids dress in PE clothes on PE days (twice a week) and normal uniform on other days so there's no need to send gym kit. So all they need to take into school is book bag, water bottle and snack (plus packed lunch if they don't have the school meals).

If you have unmet SEND needs in your class (which it appears all classes currently do!) then those children might well be physically unable to complete additional schoolwork once they get back to their safe space, having barely managed to hold it together all day.

Homework in primary seems ridiculous to me and I’m a teacher! My children are already in breakfast and after school club (where they are discouraged from completing it as they say it should be done at home). They do activities 2 weeknights. They read every night. I provide them with cultural and educational opportunities regularly. They spend most weekends with their dad and his partner who also make sure that they are given lots of lovely experiences.

Life is busy enough for us. I don’t intend on wasting our precious family time sitting at a table forcing them to do extra schoolwork!

I often wonder how children who have been taught to disregard primary school cope in high school and studying for exams

I have a degree, didn't have much homework in primary...

Basic parenting is a lot harder when

you are homeless and or
living in poverty and or
have learning difficulties yourself and or
don’t speak English as a first language and or
are suffering from ill health; physical or mental or both and or
you are pregnant and or
have younger children and or
a child with a disability and or
you are experiencing domestic abuse and or
your partner is in prison

and hundreds more variables.

I don't think my head teacher would allow me to ask that, it would have to be school wide communicate.

How are you engaging with the parents? Is it through notes in books which languish at the bottom of school bags? Or loose bits of paper which get lost fairly easily in busy households? Do you have parents evenings every term or similar where you can look a parent in the eyes and remind them ‘homework is set on a Tuesday, expected by Thursday, PE is Wednesday and they need to wear kit’.

Honestly as a mum of 3 with a full time job 9-5, 5 days a week and then some, a husband doing the same, it’s really bloody tough and unfortunately some weeks homework doesn’t/can't sit high on our list of priorities

I was a very engaged and obedient parent, who did all the schools asked of me. But it was easy for me, I didn’t work, had compliant kids and a very hands on husband.

Maybe some of your parents are too busy working, being single parents, struggling financially etc., to do all that you want them to. You come across as rather judgemental OP, perhaps that is not helping your engagement with the parents?

30 hour week?
Are you trolling or being satirical? I can’t tell.

🙄