Why do some parents not engage with school?! Asking as a teacher!

[Purpleturtle43]

I teach a Y1 class and have been a teacher for 20 years. Never have I experienced a class where parents are so unsupportive with regards to homework and providing what they need for class!

The majority of kids don't do their homework or do a really poor job of it. Most days when I ask the children to bring their reading books out at least 5 don't have them despite parents being told weekly the children need their books in school every day as we do daily reading. Many children also so they don't read their reading books at home.

Many parents don't provide their children when the necessary stuff for school for example pencils, indoor shoes, gym kits etc. meaning so much time is spent searching for spare things and we don't have enough supplies to go around.

I am a parent of 3 school aged children and totally understand the struggle, believe me the last thing I feel like doing when I get home all day from teaching kids is to do homework with my own but I always make sure it's done and kids have what they need for school.

I am just getting to the point where I wonder why I am bothering. It takes ages to look out reading books and to prepare homework and upload it online, it all just feels like a big waste of time.

If you don't engage with school can I ask why to give me some insight so I can think of some strategies that may work. I teach in an affluent area so money isn't usually a problem and the school I work in is very mindful of not asking for much, just the basics and we would definitely provide assistance when required.

You've forgotten that alot of children are possibly going to.their other parents some nights and the other parent might not be wanting to do the homework.

Homework is for the pushy parents and is of no benefit to the children. It’s a box ticking exercise. There’s rarely any follow on or purpose with homework, it’s normally a completely stand alone task. It’s also rarely appropriately differentiated.

Spellings, particularly in year 1, are a massive waste of time. We learn to spell through reading. They’re year 1 and can barely read. Why are they trying to spell before they can even read the words!?

Reading is important, but most schools insist on the book being read 2-3 times in school before it’s sent home. I can’t even begin to imagine what this does to the ‘joy of reading’. It’s so pointless and demotivating! Plus they seem to keep them on lower levels for far too long because they need assessing/benchmarking. What happened to just pulling the next level book off the shelf?! My son has just changed schools and they’ve just moved him up a whole year! We were so bored by reading at his old school.

Asking a child to read the same book five times seems like a good way to put them off reading! I read with my kids every day but will only read each school reading book once. They aren't interested in reading it again once we all already know what happens. They love going to the library or the book shop to choose new books though and we enjoy reading a variety of things together. My eldest reads by herself now but sometimes I'll read the same book as her so we can talk about it. Reading should be fun!

Are you actually kidding? They're not right based on that article.

It clearly says the EEF determine homework reinforces skills and helps pupils by preparing them for their next steps in learning, which is pretty obvious.

And then it says 36% of 1000 parents asked (which is not a majority as a percentage or a significant, or even reasonable sample size) don't think homework is helpful. That doesn't mean they're informed or they've done any research. It just means it's what 360 random parents think without any evidence, a bit like this thread.

Posters might not include reading in their disdain for homework, but reading of the adult population leaves a lot to be desired, as evidenced by poor comprehension on the thread and of 'the research'.

And yet after eight pages of explanations, all you can do is repeat how you think these are basic things that nobody should struggle with. Almost like you're more interested in shaming than listening.

They might not read the whole book each time, maybe just a few pages or pair read with a partner, look at the vocabulary, answer comprehension questions, there are many activities.

Why not use a book that stays in school and is only used and read in class to focus on the comprehension and then send a different book home to read over a period of time….say 7days ( including a weekend to make allowances for working parents etc ).

Then you’re not sending any books home that are needed in school for tasks.
Plus, kids don’t think reading is always about the minute detail of comprehension exercises…..kids can just enjoy a book for the books sake.

My year 1 daughter threw an almighty wobbler this morning before school, tipping and scattering the entire contents of her school bag all through the hallway. I did my best to put it all back and get her, older sister and toddler son in the car on time for school. When I got back, I saw the book under the chair. I imagine in a class of 30 there are a fair few reasons why parents are dropping the ball. Cut them some slack and simplify your expectations.

My DD is in Y3, she is dyslexic and I suspect has ADHD (we’re in the process of getting that assessed) she works very hard at school all day, it takes a lot out of her so when she comes home I let her relax. We read with her everyday, she reads to us, I encourage her to draw and write stories in her free time and from time to time she will do TT rockstars if she feels like it, I don’t push homework anymore, she’s mentally drained at the end of the day and I’d much rather have a pleasant evening enjoying her company than deal with meltdowns over homework.

Beyond reading I don’t see the value in other homework at that age as it ends up being the parents having to do the bulk of the work as most primary children can’t do it independently. My DS is 9 and we occasionally do spellings and he now likes to read independently but the school doesn’t do spelling or maths tests so no need to constantly rote learn late in the evening. Btw I’m a secondary teacher and loathe issuing homework for similar reasons to yours so only give it if absolutely necessary and make sure it’s differentiated by varying levels and quantity.

Yeah we might have to do that up until now it's not been an issue and booked have always been brought in no problem but might need to switch it up this year.

Not at all, I have taken a lot from what people said if you read my updates. I am going to have a talk to my HT about getting rid of the spelling homework. I understood some people found the homework a struggle but had no idea that so many did. I also didn't realise people's kids went to bed so early so understand when it's hard to fit in.

Some things though, like putting reading books back in bags etc I can't understand how that is hard but obviously it is.

You can't please everyone all the time though and for all the parents that complain about the amount of homework, you will get the same amount complaining if you take it away. It's a no win situation.

Move to a less affluent area those parents would let their kids wear odd socks lol. They are high earners and are so stressed at night they are on the Barelo not the homework. I feel so bad for teachers you sound a great one tho setting yourself up for disappointment. Year 1 and 2 are the worst esp the girls.

If some parents want more homework
They can always get their kids to do bbcbitesize, or play chess or something.
At least other kids that can’t fit so much in, through no fault of their own, won’t feel stressed and upset by it.

Some things though, like putting reading books back in bags etc I can't understand how that is hard but obviously it is.

If you still don't understand that you obviously haven't been listening.

Child goes to childminder after school then to Dads house then Mum picks them up from there to go to school in the morning, plenty of opportunities for book to be taken out of bag and not put back in then bag goes to next location without book and no one realises.

Child takes book out of bag, they read a few pages, non English speaking parent thinks the book needs to stay at home until fully read. Child despite knowing it should go back to school can't convince them otherwise.

Child takes book home, in the chaos of overcrowding, drug addicted parents, mental illness etc etc no one thinks to put it back in the bag.

OR maybe the parents just don't give a shit.

As a teacher maybe you could try to identify the cannots from the will nots and come up with strategies to help.

One child I know gets sent home with the pages they need to read photocopied out of the book so the book can stay at school.

I know this isn't the case in my class though, lots of affluent parents with fancy jobs, plenty horse riding clubs and exotic holidays!

I work in a school in an affluent area. I find a lot of them lead very hectic lifestyles - lots of after school activities, weekends busy socialising and lots of school days missed due to frequent holidays. A lot of our parents seem to gather at each other's houses drinking at the weekend while the kids run around. It often creates frazzled children who have had no time to read or do homework except for TT rockstars.
On the other hand we have a lot of children from farms. They are almost always very disciplined and organised. You don't get much more hard working than a farming family but somehow there is time to read, do homework and all the other school admin.

Well I know many affluent parents who live separately also some with Cocaine addictions, domestic violence and mental health problems so I think you are being a little naive.

If the books are left at home that is at least evidence they are being read at home.

It's not about what I as a parent can manage - it is about the child and what they can and can't not manage.
2 children did homework with no major issues.
1 child found homework unbelievably easy and sailed. 1 child could not cope with homework at all. Trying to do homework made life unbearable for them and the whole household. Child would hurt themselves. Homework was too hard, even reading was traumatic. Going to school was challenging enough. And ultimately school couldn't meet child's needs. The damage homework did and the price we are paying from ongoing issues caused by school and homework you have no concept of.
But to put it in terms you may understand my child life is more important than homework will ever be

Schools dictate so much of a child's life now they tell us who what where and what they took us what they can wear or eat or when they can use the loo
It's no surprise that parents of young children are wanting to just experience some time with their young children before bed and the whole joke starts again

Billy for you having spare cash to buy two pairs of school shoes

If schools drains and field are so poor school need to be funding renovations

I got bored reading the replies from the original poster

I am SO glad you are not teaching my kids

I feel teachers have this horrific snobby attitude they think they are more than god

Work minimal hours have holidays other people struggle to keep up with and yet still think they have the monopoly of "tired burnt out parent" when they work 5 hours a day and a minimal week off every 6 weeks

Then when people with proper jobs struggle to fit in a boring biff and chip book... As schools don't bother to update the resources for decades they get shamed

I'm about to have a mental breakdown triggered by school. I have a child in year 1 who has spellings, reading and online maths. He actually loves doing his homework but I have to be involved with all of it, which I would love to always cherish. But I also have a year 2 who has reading, spellings, mathletics, ukelele to take in and practice. I also have a year 4 who has english homework, spellings and maths. My eldest swims 3 times a week, the other 2 swim once a week. They all do another sport. One of them also plays football every weekend. They're also active kids and we need/should spend plenty of time outside. I also want them to enjoy play dates.

On top of this over the next 2.5 weeks we have 3 school trips, 2 (school) competitions, a spelling bee with MORE spellings on top of the weekly spellings, an after school PTA fundraiser everyone is encouraged to go to in fancy dress, non uniform day, something to do with pancakes, take an easter egg to school day, decorate a sodding potato AT HOME for world book day and PE kits to remember twice a week and probably another load of stuff I can't remember. My husband and I both worth full time.

So whilst I empathise with you and I try my very best to be involved in everything school, a lot of parents have hit the "f**k this" stage.

Is this UK??
My kids are in year 1 &3.
We aren't supposed to send equipment and gym kit is an American term??
Kids go into school on PE kit in pe days.

We read almost every night and they always have their school books, cos that's proven to help kids do better in school. The school has scrapped homework for reception to year 2 and they have 1 half-termly project currently for year 3 we have done 2 out of 3 and there was no drama about the 1 we didn't do. Young kids are at school 6hrs a day and don't need to be doing more work at home (reading books aside)
I work Saturdays, so no homework then and Sundays is our family day, park walks etc.

I am onboard for supporting my kids learning, I also think downtime and family time is important. So glad my kids don't go to your school, sounds ott for the age of the kids. (But yeah not bothering to read with them or send their book in is crap, then again, our school only asks them to read themselves 3times a week and accepts bedtime stories as reads for the other days...again cos this has proven benefits for kids learning)