Why do some parents not engage with school?! Asking as a teacher!

[Purpleturtle43]

I teach a Y1 class and have been a teacher for 20 years. Never have I experienced a class where parents are so unsupportive with regards to homework and providing what they need for class!

The majority of kids don't do their homework or do a really poor job of it. Most days when I ask the children to bring their reading books out at least 5 don't have them despite parents being told weekly the children need their books in school every day as we do daily reading. Many children also so they don't read their reading books at home.

Many parents don't provide their children when the necessary stuff for school for example pencils, indoor shoes, gym kits etc. meaning so much time is spent searching for spare things and we don't have enough supplies to go around.

I am a parent of 3 school aged children and totally understand the struggle, believe me the last thing I feel like doing when I get home all day from teaching kids is to do homework with my own but I always make sure it's done and kids have what they need for school.

I am just getting to the point where I wonder why I am bothering. It takes ages to look out reading books and to prepare homework and upload it online, it all just feels like a big waste of time.

If you don't engage with school can I ask why to give me some insight so I can think of some strategies that may work. I teach in an affluent area so money isn't usually a problem and the school I work in is very mindful of not asking for much, just the basics and we would definitely provide assistance when required.

You are amazing. Ignore whoever told you you weren't. My SIL has similar needs in her household to you, but she has a partner on good money and doesn't have to work - still their life is very very hard. I can't imagine it if she had to go it alone and put food on the table at the same time. People just have no idea at all what it can be like.

Weird that parents wouldn’t support their children - looking for excuses isn’t great role modelling. Half the parents work from home now, surely that set up helps as they save on the commute etc. Such a shame, so hard to be in teaching, doing your best for your pupils.

Only 16% of people work exclusively from home.

For myself - online is the first problem I noticed in the OP. Checking kids homework and helping them is near impossible on their tiny Chromebook screens, not to mention we know how much screen time is bad for us even as adults, so why are we adding more onto children?? I absolutely hate what it's doing to their attention spans, emotional regulation, ability to proof read etc. Google classroom is horrible to use and most of the time I do not want to go from my screen-heavy job to more screens at home.

So #1 - take homework offline.

For specific projects, digital is fine. Everything else - send a worksheet or books home. It is so so much easier to be involved that way as a parent.

Things I would do:
Keep it to weekly give Thursdays Collect Monday (reasoning some parents say not enough time week days others don't want to deal with homework at the weekend so covers bases).
Keep books at school for the few that obviously won't do it and text for parent helpers to read in school.

Things I've seen
Reward charts/stars/stickers/tokens
Take 1/2 hour for yr 6 volunteers to read with yr1/reception.
Booster sessions
Sessions where parents are encouraged in (vary in success from many to 4/5 parents turning up)

That's off the top of my head but YANBU and if the areas affluent it would also seem odd to me.

Here's my two-penn'orth, having not read the whole thread, but having taught in inner city primary schools for 30+years:-

it was the Govt that forced all primary schools to set homework & then set Ofsted to inspect & report on it. Meaning that, irrespective of having any worth, everyone had to do it. In private schools, or in schools with relatively homogeneous ability intakes (read "leafy suburb"), it is possible, at least easier, to incorporate homework into primary school life. Tho' it is a big drain on teacher-time. In inner-city schools with both diverse and disadvantaged intakes, where parents have the many challenges some PPs have delineated above, it's a very different story. In any 1age-group class you can easily be looking at an ability spread of 7years. That means, to make a homework task relevant & meaningful, teacher needs to set homework at 3 different levels of ability. That takes time, thought and effort. Then: the handing out; the getting it back (that's a Homework Register that has to be kept); the marking of it; the marking register of results, etc, etc. That's teacher time. Now add in the factor of very varying family contexts, conditions and difficulties. Some coming from very "learning enabled" contexts and some from very "learning disabled" contexts.
The upshot is that, at least in the inner-city state schools I really do know about, the HOMEWORK ISSUE is something that militates against achievement & success of less "enabled" children.

It uselessly drains teacher-time away from planning for the actual teaching and learning.
For what it's worth, and I'm sure this will upset very many people:

1. I would do away with homework prior to secondary school (except for reading at home). Releasing teachers from much meaningless activity.
2. I would extend the school-day. Starting with 8.00 Breakfast Club; 8.30 Physical Activity/Dance; 9.00 teaching t'table; 5min "activity jump around" sessions between each lesson; return to long lunch break - time for eating and (curated?) play; return of afternoon break/playtime; extension of lessons till 4pm; after-school Clubs/PlayCentre, to include snack&drink.

Initial response from Teachers' Unions would, I guess be very hostile.
But, actually, a longer day, with better breaks, with NO HOMEWORK, would enable teachers to do what they're supposed to be doing.

The "guilt release" of very hardworking parents would be

appreciated, I'm sure.
Those parents, (they do exist, believe me) who didn't even notice any of the expectations/requirements placed on them by their child's school, might feel less pressured by "them"/"the school", so that actually a) sending their child to school b) being a parent feels like something that can be achieved.

I think if you took a few seconds to read any of the thread you’ll find that people are supporting their children in many different ways (financially, socially, emotionally, physically etc etc) although perhaps not obediently doing what is set by the school to the detriment of all else.
School/childcare already has the lions share of waking hours of very young DC so expecting more is not reasonable.
Older DC are a different kettle of fish but I’m not sure I want to teach my 5 year old that he has even more limited time for sleep or rest or enjoyment or enrichment outside of school because we have to faff around with some ridiculous app when he’d rather be building a Lego tower or something.

I tried to explain to my dds teacher that we get in at 6 and she goes to bed at 7, in that 1 hour she has to eat, bath and get ready for bed so although we can’t guarantee she’ll do reading through the week we always do it at the weekend, she just kept repeating read with her 3 times through the week and wrote it in the book, we kept doing it at the weekend and she just keeps writing in the book to do it 3 times during the week, so frankly she can take a running jump.

Just write in the book 3x a week even if you don’t do the reading, honestly this micromanagement and tunnel vision from the teacher……. 🙄

Honestly you do an amazing job and if you didn’t ask for this next year when these kids are not managing in year 1, they will blame you! . So I would keep going and doing this great job. Some of the parents really appreciate the work you are putting in. Shame parents don’t feel the same way.. parenting is educating your kids as well..,

We have a Y1 child and never do homework. We read with her every day but other than that I don't agree with it at this age. By the time she's got home from school, had a snack and a chill, possibly a swimming lesson, dinner, a bath etc, she's exhausted and we don't have time!I'm not going to make her do extra work on top of all that, she's still only 5.

Not reading at home really pisses me off. It takes ten minutes. It's a fact that children who read regularly at home make better progress. It's the most important thing.
I have lost count of the number of times over the years that I have had a parent claim the child doesn't read because they find the books boring. I then take time with the child to carefully select a book they like and they still don't f&@king read it at home.
Funnily enough we have no problem with our pupils going on Numbots or TT Rockstars because they require minimal supervision.

I am an involved parent but by the time I get home from work, play with my child, bath and feed them, they are tired and ready for bed. Alongside with all the stuff I need to do including ironing, keeping on top of washing, cooking etc, we don’t have time for homework or reading.

@Stepfordian we are the same, and we still manage to read. DD sometimes enjoys reading in the bath, with me holding the book! She also likes doing it snuggled up in bed with me.

Sympathy OP. It does drag you down as it does seem as if lots of society have given up and just do not care or have self respect. No pride anymore and many just expect schools and other services to do everything. Shameless and drags the country down.

I'm fine with things like spellings. But when my Y1 child is sent home with a task like "build an insect hotel" etc it doesn't happen. Homework tasks like this are for parents, not the children. I have other younger children, work, a sick MIL, a million other family things going on. The last thing I am going to make time for is homework tasks for parents.
Spellings, fine. Homework which the children actually have to do, fine. Giant homework tasks for Y1 children that clearly they wouldn't be able to actually do - not fine!

Even if you just read at the weekend, it would be something. Plus read with your child at bedtime to encourage a love of reading and books. So few of my pupils do that now. Apart from the links with reading books and academic attainment, reading can give you so much pleasure.

That’s very sad. Your little ones will only be little once and you will never have that time again. I used to ignore ironing in order to read to my kids. Favourite time of night. Id iron after they were asleep.

Reading for pleasure is a beautiful, bonding, life-affirming experience. Maybe try to do it every other day.

Oh well good for you. If life was that easy for everyone then threads like this, and indeed MN itself, would not exist.

Empathy might be a look you want to try, as smug doesnt suit you.

I'm very late to this thread but have been amazed about how this school operates.

So, the school cannot keep the playground free of mud (really??) so children have to bring two pairs of shoes to make up for this?

Secondly, my own DC weren't required to provide a pen or pencil until they started secondary school. Have things really changed so much or is it just this one school?

No children bring in one pair of indoor shoes. The playground has a lot of grass and it's a large school so if they don't use the grass they are all squashed onto the concrete and that's when accidents and injuries happen.

I can understand a lot of the posts on this thread about people's busy lives but I can't get over how people think it's such a big deal to provide a pair of slippers, plimsoles etc and a pencil, surely that is super basic. How do people manage to hold down jobs and run a household if this is seem as such a challenging and outrageous task?! So confused by it.

Most homework given to young kids is an exercise in giving often already tired kids even more school shit to do at exactly the point they should be able to unwind so it falls on tired parents to do it. As a parent I could metaphorically shoot some of the teachers who have given e.g. 6 year old impossible maths questions as a parent I couldn't do (I have a chemistry A-level)
Stop giving them f'ing projects where it will obviously fall on the parents to give them.
Provide a daily chart that sets out what is needed on each day, not what happens each day
e.g. Monday: maths book, reading book, games kit, recorder
Helps lighten the school bag

No pencil case here either, all the kids stationery in dc’s class is provided by the school (state). And dcs go in wearing kit on PE days

As a parent of a young child I find they have been up since around 630 am in school by 830am worked hard all day out and home by 4pm depending if they have not been to an after school club then 6pm. Doing any kind of homework can seem like an overwhelming task for some. Once a week homework is not so bad , but older children having large amounts of daily homework, i just dont agree with. Its takes up the whole evening and weekend at times to be in on Monday. Some parents might be exhausted from work themselves, or single parents struggling and doing their best. I do my best to keep the reading record up to date and have it in the school bag , but we are human and rushed/stressed at times and forget. You could just put out a gentle reminder to all parents about this or try to target the individuals in question and ask them , see if any support can be given