Why do some parents not engage with school?! Asking as a teacher!

[Purpleturtle43]

I teach a Y1 class and have been a teacher for 20 years. Never have I experienced a class where parents are so unsupportive with regards to homework and providing what they need for class!

The majority of kids don't do their homework or do a really poor job of it. Most days when I ask the children to bring their reading books out at least 5 don't have them despite parents being told weekly the children need their books in school every day as we do daily reading. Many children also so they don't read their reading books at home.

Many parents don't provide their children when the necessary stuff for school for example pencils, indoor shoes, gym kits etc. meaning so much time is spent searching for spare things and we don't have enough supplies to go around.

I am a parent of 3 school aged children and totally understand the struggle, believe me the last thing I feel like doing when I get home all day from teaching kids is to do homework with my own but I always make sure it's done and kids have what they need for school.

I am just getting to the point where I wonder why I am bothering. It takes ages to look out reading books and to prepare homework and upload it online, it all just feels like a big waste of time.

If you don't engage with school can I ask why to give me some insight so I can think of some strategies that may work. I teach in an affluent area so money isn't usually a problem and the school I work in is very mindful of not asking for much, just the basics and we would definitely provide assistance when required.

My DC are in private schools and all of this and more is expected.
People just want everything on a plate. It's so entitled. I can't believe parents expect schools to provide pencils. Again it's no wonder this country is falling apart.

People should not bother to have children if they aren't willing to take an interest in their education.

After school homework for a 5 or 6 year old child is ridiculous and I wouldn’t engage with it either. If it’s only a short list of spelling words they should do it at school or it could be sent home to do over the weekend. My year 1 and most of the other DC in their class are in breakfast club at 7.30am, collected at 6pm after a full day of learning and activity. For us we then get home at 6.15ish, I have to cook dinner which takes half an hour so they’re probably not finished eating until 7. By which time they’ve been awake for 12 hours and it’s time to get ready for the 7.30pm bed time they need to do it all again the next day. When in that schedule would you suggest I do all this homework?

My kids are high school age and I also work in a school so see it from both sides.
I think covid caused a huge change in people's opinions of schools and also their respect for school rules.
This applies to myself also, I don't agree with homework at any age. I think it's completely unfair to infringe so much on home life.
People are working longer and harder for little gain, usually both parents. They have nothing else to give after work. Again myself included, I collapse into my pyjamas and don't have enough brain power to do anything.
I also saw from my school days that those at worked hard don't seem to have done great in life and those that messed around and got bad grades are now earning well and are very successful. This has shown me that school grades don't define how your life will be so I'm less inclined to push my children . I think this problem is going to get worse and worse
and many children will be homeschooled

I don’t believe in homework for small children. Luckily my children’s school don’t hand it out for the same reasons so don’t need to worry about it. I do attend the join the learning events, sports day, concerts etc though.

Our school similar. we’re in Scotland.

pe days - go to school in pe wear. No pencil case required (all supplied in school) but we do have to have indoor shoes for emergency wear (wet feet etc) they’re normally just plimsoles we supply…I think mine has worn his twice. they do have to have wellies for outdoor learning but just bring them on the outdoor day.

also agree that reading should be a priority for all!

I’m a teacher and parent and I do have to agree with this poster. It’s so tiring plus my son is send.

Also, I get nothing out of setting homework, the children aren’t learning anything additional (it’s just to reinforce school learning) and it doesn’t get done ever. I remember breaking my back during Covid, making PowerPoints, uploading them to seesaw) preparing packs days in advance, only to have not a jot of it returned!!

you have to ask, who is it for?

Communication from school was an issue when my kids were at primary.
There was never a proper list of what they need and then they would come home and say the teacher said they are missing this and that. Sometimes it would take ages because the teacher would rely on a 5/6/7 year old to tell their parents.
News letters wouldn’t always be sent home if the child didn’t pick it up from their drawer. Same with homework books, reading books, spelling and it wasn’t always clear when they were expected back, especially as these days changed frequently.
PE days were supposed to be set, but they would frequently change with the teacher relying on the kids to tell the parents.
Sports clubs were badly communicated and some never got letters home depending on the teacher. Sometimes the kids never brought them home.
School website where a copy of newsletters was kept wasn’t always up to date (depending on the class / teacher) and caused a lot of frustration.
This was 3 separate schools at different times and 3 different kids.
Basically, communication was inconsistent and kids were relied on too much to relay messages. Class Dojo, Class charts or whatever the app of moment the school used were also updated inconsistently.

To be honest some of what you say doesn’t resound with me , my kids school has pencils and pens a etc , they don’t ask for stuff , they have free meals and free water bottles so apart from the snack we don’t need to send anything . Reading books sometimes get forgotten but not often .

This is ridiculous. People who worked hard at school don't do well and people who messed around are now successful? What sample size are you basing this on?

And are you saying your high school kids don't do any homework at all because you don't agree with it? You're doing your children a massive disservice with that attitude.

And @Catterpillarsflipflops

Don't question my productivity or my priorities.

I am a very single parent, my ex fucked off when he realised our two year old was autistic and we also had a 10 week old as he couldn't handle it. We haven't seen him since and they are 10 and 8 now. Both children have additional needs, both have EHCPs, one is awaiting a specialist placement. My one doesn't sleep, last night I got to sleep 1.45am-5.35am. 1am-7am is an amazing night sleep.

So yes, i am exhausted. Yes, I don't quite work full time but I also have to navigate appointments all the time. Next week for example, I have 3 hours of meetings at my child's school, a GP appointment for DC during my working day and an OT appointment for my DC during the working day so I have to move my work hours to after school.

I also don't do homework but I sure work on other things with my DC. Like my DS has a speech disorder as part of his needs and we work on that regularly.

I have no productivity problem, I do have a capacity problem and yes, I am exhausted.

I’d imagine laziness! It takes roughly 10mins to go over anything you’ve mentioned that’s given as homework.
forgive me though because I don’t know the age of Y1. We’re in Scotland so go by different names.

My primary 1 (5yr old) started in August, has reading, writing(twice a week), spellings, maths and blending of phonics too.. daily. I do it every day even though we’re a busy household and have work/activities/childminder. Sorry but I think there’s no excuse.

can you bring it up at parents night? do you think it’d change if you did? Mention it’s hampering the child’s learning by not reading twice a week or whatever it is you issue.

you know yourself with 3 kids and activities etc it’s not exactly delightful to do but you just do it. he’s my 4th…we’ve managed with them all so I just don’t get anyone that doesn’t!

First year in school? Absolutely not!

If I was going to have another, I would not buy half of what I did after school did an online videocall with a barage of items required... I diligently bought all items...

Low and behold pe kit not needed, gym bag not required. Indoor shoes and outdoor needed however.

The level of learning, (and this may come as a surprise to you as a teacher, but a lot of European countries don't start teaching year 1 until they are 6,) is absurd.

If you can't teach all they need to be taught in the hours during school, should parents do more, or should schools work normal 8 hour days too? Parents are teaching their kids all the time whether teachers see it that way or not, we give them life skills, nurturing and care, whereas schools these days seem to be getting worse in their level of teaching, and that's not something parents can be blamed for, there's a whole world outside of school hours that modern life has much to answer for.

Il tell you why I dont do homework with my Y2 child and I'm sure a lot of parents can relate as well....

Plain and simply. Because it's all on an app/online.
When it was physical copies back in reception, we completed the homework every week.

I don't want 3 different apps on my phone. I want homework sheets stuck in a homework book.

Schools shot themselves in the foot the day they moved everything to an app/online. Sorry but it's true.

"I can't believe parents expect schools to provide pencils. Again it's no wonder this country is falling apart"

State primary schools have provided pencils for decades.

@Mydadsbirthday I suspect most teachers collect their very young children earlier, and then work more when their children are in bed.
I do think parents should do reading every day even for 5 minutes. But it is a struggle to fit everything in for a child that goes to bed at 7.30pm, but is in childcare until 6pm.

This is so poor. I can't grasp why these parents are like this. The ones in our primary school weren't years ago. Now ds2 doing GCSE's parents are engaged trying to help, going to parents evenings etc. why are OP's class parents so crap? I can't grasp why.

You have asked why and have had lots of possible answers. You will never actually know unless you examine each family’s circumstances or ask them.

There are probably lots of different reasons and sometimes multiple, from reading being a struggle for the parents, to health struggles, personal struggles or even choosing not to engage.

Working in a secondary school I know there are single parent families, families with multiple children, parents going through medical treatment, parents with mental health struggles, parents who can’t even afford to buy food, parents whose education level is low, domestic abuse situations, SEND situations with parents, children and siblings, those parents who work shifts, exhausted parents barely keeping it together and a myriad of other reasons.

I would sit down with each child’s name and write down what you know about their family situation. That will give you clues. Reading is hugely important-I absolutely agree, but rather than thinking all parents don’t want to engage see if you can figure out what the barriers might be.

I am sure you are doing an amazing job. It just isn’t all about the classroom situation.

Clubs- a lot of primary aged children go to a lot of extra curriculum classes, swimming, ballet etc even more so in affluent areas as you mentioned, this means even less time at home and energy, I agree that parents need to respect the time a teacher spends on preparing the homework nevertheless homework as such for year 1 children? I can see why parents might be actively choosing not to cooperate. Equally I can understand your frustration- different schools have different policies, maybe speak to the Head about re thinking this.

Sure, you didn’t mention that in your post and so your situation is completely different from most of the feckless parents that make up the primary school population these days.

If only there was a thread with hundreds of parents explaining why.

I honestly think for most people it’s a time thing. Also it all being on an app doesn’t help.
Our school no longer gives homework (apart from reading) but when dd was in year one they still did. It was all on the app, too small on my phone, too glitchy on our ancient tablet and to be honest too awkward for her clumsy fingers to manipulate on the screen. Then she completed everything on there and nothing else was uploaded for months and I completely forgot about it’s existence 😳 Plus I don’t like encouraging my children to use the tablet/my phone because once they’re on there doing their homework they want to sit on it playing games for the rest of the evening.

A lot of kids are in too many extra curricular activities.

We have the opposite problem. The homework our Y2 teacher sets is dull as dishwater and not very engaging. Our DD has a thirst for learning so we have had to jump on board to support that. Making time for homework is definitely a pain but have to say once we found our groove its a great way to spend time together.