Why do some parents not engage with school?! Asking as a teacher!

[Purpleturtle43]

I teach a Y1 class and have been a teacher for 20 years. Never have I experienced a class where parents are so unsupportive with regards to homework and providing what they need for class!

The majority of kids don't do their homework or do a really poor job of it. Most days when I ask the children to bring their reading books out at least 5 don't have them despite parents being told weekly the children need their books in school every day as we do daily reading. Many children also so they don't read their reading books at home.

Many parents don't provide their children when the necessary stuff for school for example pencils, indoor shoes, gym kits etc. meaning so much time is spent searching for spare things and we don't have enough supplies to go around.

I am a parent of 3 school aged children and totally understand the struggle, believe me the last thing I feel like doing when I get home all day from teaching kids is to do homework with my own but I always make sure it's done and kids have what they need for school.

I am just getting to the point where I wonder why I am bothering. It takes ages to look out reading books and to prepare homework and upload it online, it all just feels like a big waste of time.

If you don't engage with school can I ask why to give me some insight so I can think of some strategies that may work. I teach in an affluent area so money isn't usually a problem and the school I work in is very mindful of not asking for much, just the basics and we would definitely provide assistance when required.

In y1 my kid was exhausted at end of day and homework would have seemed mad. Luckily school didn't set it. Reading books is different though. Maybe the demands need scaling down.

I've been teaching 20+ years too (rarely KS1 though and not in affluent schools) but things like indoor shoes, expecting children to bring in their own stationery and sending home spelling lists have never been part of my practice.

If it's a council policy to set spelling homework and subject children to tests that do nothing to improve spelling long-term, I'd put any spare energy into challenging the ridiculousness of that policy. Explicit teaching of spelling is important, testing the short term recall of spelling is not. Until I had got the council's policy changed, I'd send home lists of words just so families are aware of the spelling patterns we've been practising in class this week. I wouldn't waste curriculum time conducting spelling tests either and would assess spelling by looking at children's independent writing.

The indoor/outdoor shoe thing is a faff. The school needs to put some thought into why the playground is so muddy and come up with some design solutions e.g. robust mud scrapers or matting by the outside doors. Alternatively, there needs to be a newsletter/Facebook appeal for wellies large enough to be worn over school shoes so the children don't waste time changing shoes and you don't waste time reminding families to provide spares.

Pencils and other stationery should be provided at primary school. If the school has an affluent intake but can't afford to buy pencils for Y1, ask parents if anyone has contacts in the stationery world who might want to donate a load of pencils. Or set up a wishlist. Y1 classrooms should be full of communal writing tools. I'd ask families to leave fancy pencil cases at home and to send in pens, pencils etc. from conferences or trade shows to add to class supplies.

PE kit only needs to be brought in at the start of a term and taken home to be washed at half-term for KS1 children and early KS2.

Reading is the one battle I think it's worth fighting. If you're not having to waste time on spelling tests and indoor/outdoor shoe swapping, there could be a lot more time for reading with those children whose families aren't managing to do it at home. This is where I'd focus my energies. I'd invest time in finding out which children are refusing to read at home because they're all schooled out, which families prefer to read a story that works for all three of their children to listen to, who is telling their parent they're going to read it at school anyway so there's no point doing it at home etc. etc. and then I'd think about ways I could adapt what goes on in my classroom to take account of this. I'd keep children's reading books and reading records in boxes in the classroom and send them home only for the children/parents who wanted to take a school reading book home. I'd encourage the borrowing of non-scheme books to have read to them by an adult but wouldn't send home any scheme book I wanted to be able to use in a class reading session. I would use the time gained from the shoe palaver to introduce reading/book time so children can do pre-reading or at least exploring of a scheme book before group reading (if that's what you do). I'd also keep a look out for parallel scheme books being offered for nothing on Facebook etc. and would try to build up a stock of those so they become the ones you send home.

I find it strange when people say they don’t agree with homework/ don’t push homework. I get that there’s so much to do and juggle and I think an excessive amount of homework is crazy.
But I view homework as a way for your child to showcase what they’ve learnt at school, to make them excited about learning. To get them to understand that putting a little bit of work in will help your performance.

3 primary age DC here and we do the (pretty minimal) homework but it's a struggle.
To those of you who say, it's 10 mins - no. It's 20 mins of nagging at/shouting at child. Multiplied by 2 kids (littlest only in Reception) x 4 activities (reading, maths, spelling, music practice). Followed by 10 mins helping/redirecting them back onto said activity when they actually start it.

The single thing that would improve things the most: no homework apps. Back to paper reading record and worksheets. Then I can note reading when kid is actually doing it, not have to find password, log reading, then spend half an hour trying to get them off the computer while they mess around with in-app "rewards", Google, try to sneak onto games etc. DC1 is now Yr 6 but when he was Yr R it was all paper based and this worked much better. Also comments on his reading from teacher/TA seemed to be much more frequent, detailed, and easy for me to find in the paper record.

Sadly a lot of parents just don’t give a shit. Yes it’s hard work keeping up with it all, but no one said having kids was easy. It’s lazy parenting. And I say that as a working single parent with no father involved at all.

I’m not a fan of KS1 homework but if my kids were set the work then it got done. My kids are the most important thing in my life, so anything involving them gets my attention.

The single thing that would improve things the most: no homework apps. Back to paper reading record and worksheets. Then I can note reading when kid is actually doing it, not have to find password, log reading, then spend half an hour trying to get them off the computer while they mess around with in-app "rewards", Google, try to sneak onto games etc. DC1 is now Yr 6 but when he was Yr R it was all paper based and this worked much better.

I agree with this. I also limit my childrens screen time - "educational" or no, screen time has a noticeably negative impact on their behaviour. School already rely on screens way more than I'd like and I refuse to have these imposed more at home.

I think the assumption parents have time to do homework with DC is an error. Busy lives and family time need to be prioritised. Certainly reading to DC and hearing them read is fine to expect - and most parents would do this (bedtime story etc). But what else do they need to be doing at home in year1?
Everything they need to learn at school should be taught in school, not be an additional piece of homework, which some DC may not have the resources for at home.

I don’t think expectations around homework have kept up with the modern pace of life (and just to reiterate what many have said, there is NO EVIDENCE it helps)

My DC (Years 1+3) are in a small private school, not selective. They have homework (2 pages of a maths or grammar book etc) plus reading and spelling daily. It’s a full hour to get them both sorted as my youngest is a lot and my eldest has dyslexia, dyspraxia and some issues with focus, made worse by tiredness.

Like most people we both work and wouldn’t be able to pick up until 5.30-6.30pm depending on the day and whether we need to commute in. They also do clubs a lot of the days, which they love. Even if we cancelled clubs in favour of homework (sad) , the problem is that homework isn’t supported in wraparound for the younger children who require 1:1 or something close to it. I believe there is a table or two for Year 5+6 who can get on independently.

If I tried to do it when we got home, we would finish at 7.30pm, then somehow have to feed, wash and read to them, put them to bed - at what 9.30pm?

My solution for now is an aupair. It’s expensive, I hate having someone in the house, I’m very aware that I’m lucky to be able to to manage it at all. But not sure of the answer really.

My child's class expects us to write down each book they've read at home everyday of the week,I forget, bc the diary is downstairs in their book bag, don't get time later, n before you know it I've missed a whole 2 weeks. I hate that homework is online, would much prefer paper! I can't be bothered taking pics of it to then upload on to the learning journal thing. So homework is done just not uploaded n spelling is also done

Because all parents are different. Some believe kids shouldn’t have homework at that age and should run free. Others are already prepping for the 11+

As a working parent I know it’s bloody hard making the time for it…exhausting in fact. We always have though as we think it’s important to have a balance and also make learning a life long habit from a young age.

My kids don’t do homework because I don’t believe in it for kids of their age, and also because a lot of it is online on a really clunky platform - I don’t need more screens in my life. Sometimes the homework is insane (4 year olds, please construct a 2 storey cardboard building with a functioning lift!?!?) and there just isn’t time to fit it in - the school seem to forget that it’s 2025 and most parents work.

We don’t read the school reading books at home because the school reading books are very dull, and I’m not going to make reading a chore when it should be enjoyable.

My kids do do vaguely educational stuff with me during weekends and school holidays and we do read books at home. I think choosing not to do homework/prescribed reading is my choice as a parent; I think I’m better placed to decide what is best for my kids in their leisure time than a teacher, who has 30 kids to look after, is.

This is really where I begin to take issue. Extra curricular has a lot less value than a tiny amount of homework. The exception being swimming.

I think a lot of my kids extra curriculum activities have served them better than a lot of lessons at school. I would any day in primary school put these over online screen homework.

Agree with every word of this.

My kids never used tablets at all until they started school and app use was suddenly mandatory. Preposterous, in my opinion.

I also don't like the attitude that school always knows best. I'm in charge of my kids' education, and school is just one of the resources I use. The DfE don't have the supreme authority on what's best for every individual child, in my opinion.

I am just grateful for parents who don't engage!

I don't believe homework is a reasonable requirement at that age. They should be able to learn what they need in school. It's not good for kids or parents to feel they have no down time.

Our school doesn't start it till 4th grade.

Extra curricular has a lot less value than a tiny amount of homework.

I totally disagree. My kids gain more from piano lessons than they do from:

• pointless short recall spellings which most educators agree have no benefit
• app based, gamified/addictive maths home work that is too easy
• web based "reading comprehension" like read theory, which has a lot of poorly worded questions and gives you more points/badges getting 60% on each of 2 rushed tests, than scoring 100% doing one really well.

I suspect many of OPs parents do hear their kids read but they do not sign the record as recognise it is pointless.

The homework is invariably so dull though, I'd have a hard job getting excited about it..DD2 has not had her reading book changed in school for weeks. The homework is some tedious app-based dirge that only works on one of the devices in our house. We do read almost every night but it will generally be her reading some of her bedtime story to me. We will do homework if we have time but not at the expense of e.g. a weekend away with friends or a day at a museum or just running about outside, like kids are supposed to. Or just painting! Be creative!

There's no evidence it's of benefit to children in primary. She does ASC 2x a week, we do a child swap after school one day a week and one day she has swimming. She also needs to do piano practice and does a sport at the weekend. If I had been at work from 8am to 6pm I wouldn't to do more of the same. We both work full time and one of us will be getting home at 7 pm every night.

Her year 6 sister self manages homework- she is ND and goes to breakfast club 2x a week to do it. That's the right age- when they can self manage and motivate.

They don't allow pencil cases in our school. Too much drama over losses/comparisons.

I would love to be able to have time to do lots of homework every night with my dc but I posted the other day saying I am struggling to fit everything in. It's exhausting.

With my y2 we are given vague instructions "to practice XYZ" honestly I would much prefer worksheets that don't require any googling, or trying to set up an activity. We have to provide "evidence" too, often in the form of photos, I don't have a printer so I have to ask my mum to print them or go to Tesco and pay. All of this takes TIME and headspace. Give me a worksheet!!!!!

People rave about times tables rock stars but I made sure that my y4 did 15 minutes a day for 6 months last year, turned his heat map completely green and still only scored 13/25 in the test. Ffs...

You shouldn't need to do homework every night with primary aged children - that's miles more than is usual.
The Ofsted outstanding primary near me that achieve really strong academic results would only be sending homework once a week for junior school kids eg 10mins of English and 10 of maths.

Are your kids struggling academically OP, hence making them do work at home every night? Most people wouldn't count reading with them as homework by the way

It all seems a bit much for little ones. And tbh none of us (me + siblings) did any homework when we were kids either and we all managed to learn and pass our exams anyway. We're all unspeakable boffins, truth be told!

It's all a bit over the top in my view. We just read and play and build things. There's time enough for them to be ground down by school yet. They'll be fine.

I have asked for a mail to send pictures. I am done with printing 'evidence'. If it was so important and mandatory the school would take charge of. Never got an answer. I really don't spend much thought of it anymore.

OP I’m probably one of “those mums”, affluent-ish area, two kids in EYFS (and younger one too). Work FT compressed. Honestly homework has no evidence base at this age so I informed teachers at the start of the year that it’s not my focus. At least one day per week we go the the library. We read daily (not necessarily school books). I didn’t grow up in the UK school system and while I think phonics can be helpful, it’s more important to me that kids learn to love books, thinking about the world, languages and grow to love learning. So we bake, do a lot of unscheduled physical activity (even in winter) and spend time together. Books in school bags - inevitably get damaged occasionally if bags get soaked (ie it’s a 30 min walk home and everything is wet). They dry but never the same - or they are kids, lunchbox clasps fail and food is on them. It’s never purposeful or neglectful but they are little. I donate older books to the school. While I know they are not easily replaced, surely at that age things aren’t precious?

Is it different to how I grew up - yes - but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. My kids love and respect school and I tell them it’s important to learn and build our brains together - but that at this age the school homework is “suggestions” for learning together. They know when they are older exams are “the same for everyone” and so school gets stricter.

On the days I work late (6:30pm collect) - we tend to just about have time for play, dinner, one book and bed. On those days the kids getting to tell me about whit days and have hugs and cuddles is what is prioritized.

Oh and our school loves drop in sessions - but runs EYF sessions at the same time and for parents only. So I can never attend as you can’t split a 15 min slot (and on the days I’m not at work I have the baby) and two kids in different EYFA classes! It’s not disinterest. It’s an impossible task (no family support locally, am not going to pay childminder their full day fee - minimum payment to keep the spot/ratio - to attend a 15 min session). The kids understand and we always try do something special ourselves instead

I think they do. But you said many people work more than 30 hours. Some parents said that's what they work. Full time teachers are on the school premises for no less than 30 hours and have to prep and assess for each teaching hour on top, outside of the directed time. Statistics show that many teachers and leaders, therefore, work nearly double.

And so do many other professions.